You have the feeling that you are often rejected in love or that you yourself reject love and you would like to learn more about the forms this can take in your love life.
Beware: it is common to confuse the wound of rejection with that of abandonment. Read this article to better understand the difference. This article is part of a series of 5 articles I wrote about the 5 wounds of the soul according to Lise Bourbeau.
The wound of rejection is connected to your ‘being’
Someone who has the wound of rejection thinks that they are not good enough to receive love:
- You may think that you don’t look good enough to please
- You may think that you are not attractive or appealing for some other reason
- You may think you are too old
- You may think that your character is too complicated, that you are too emotional…
In short, that something in your BEING makes you unlovable.
And this wound of rejection towards your being can manifest itself in many love patterns:
- The first and most obvious one is rejection by your partners. The men you like are not interested in starting a relationship with you.
- You attract men who try to change you: “you could lose a few kilos”, “you could be more feminine” and you easily question yourself because deep down you also believe that something is wrong with you.
- When love comes to the door, you simply don’t believe it. No matter how much the man proves his love for you, you will not be convinced.
- You try to present a perfect image and hide your flaws to avoid your partner discovering who you really are, i.e. a human being with wounds and weaknesses (Ps: you are just like everyone else). This constant pressure prevents you from really connecting with your partner.
- For fear of rejection you avoid getting involved with men you are really interested in. You choose safety.
- You may feel that you are self-sabotaging your relationships.
- When your relationship is in crisis or conflict, you choose the escape strategy, the extreme solution (breaking up) or you reject the other person outright, for fear that they will reject you.
- You may have a conflict with your image as a woman.
- You may reject your right to exist, have difficulty taking your place and considering your own needs and limits. This wound may come from a difficult birth, read this article.
- You think you have to fight for a place instead of just having the right to be you.
- If this fear of rejection is strong, you may also totally reject love in your life.
A simple wound can impact your love life in many ways. This is why the first step in my coaching is to do an assessment to identify the wounds that block you in love, in particular with the programme Opening up to Love.
Healing the wound of rejection
To heal the wound of rejection, there are two steps in my opinion:
- Understanding where this wound of rejection comes from in your past
- De-programming this automatic reaction in the body (this step is included in individual coaching)
In this free webinar I explain why our past wounds are stored in the body.
Webinar How a wound from the past is created?
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Your challenge: learn to accept yourself as you are
Healing the wound of rejection will enable you to react less emotionally to situations of rejection and to reject yourself less.
It will also require you to reinforce behaviours that are more beneficial to you by learning to accept yourself as you are and taking your place without having to do anything.
You will also have to learn to stop running away as soon as the fear of rejection arises.
If you want to implement the new habits in your life, then my individual coaching will give you the means to do so.