Your partner speaks disrespectfully to you and you can’t leave him or her.
You accumulate casual relationships that give you short-term satisfaction but make you feel worthless in the long run.
The wound of humiliation can take many forms in love.
This article is part of a series of 5 articles I wrote about the 5 wounds of the soul according to Lise Bourbeau.
The wound of humiliation makes you feel guilty about your pleasure
The wound of humiliation makes you accept all forms of degradation, including those that you impose on yourself, and this can take different forms:
- You accept disrespect from your partners.
- You accept everything so that others are not ashamed of you. You keep a low profile.
- If you are attacked or blamed for something, you automatically blame yourself and feel responsible without questioning the other person’s judgement.
- You disrespect yourself. You self-deprecate, put yourself down and blame yourself easily.
- You take little care of yourself, your body, your appearance.
- You compensate and reward yourself easily with food.
- You struggle to buy things of value, because you think you don’t deserve them.
- You accept things in sex that you don’t want to do to please the other person.
- You may even think it’s your fault if you get into harassing, molesting situations.
- You may feel ashamed to try certain things in sex: fellatio, masturbation…
- You feel ashamed and guilty about pleasuring yourself.
- You put obligations and others before yourself. This can be akin to servitude.
- You usually do too much: help too much, work too much, are too nice…
- You don’t feel worthy of being loved.
- You are afraid of losing your freedom and when you have this freedom, you are afraid of not being able to control yourself.
A simple wound can impact your love life in many ways. This is why the first step in my coaching is to identify the wounds that are blocking you in love, in particular with the programme Opening up to Love.
Healing the wound of humiliation
In order to heal the wound of humiliation, there are two steps in my opinion:
- Understanding where this wound of humiliation comes from in your past
- De-programming this automatic reaction in the body (this step is included in the individual coaching)
In this free webinar I explain why our past wounds are stored in the body.
Webinar How a wound from the past is created?
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Your challenge: regain your dignity
Healing the wound of humiliation will allow you to react less emotionally to disrespectful situations and to be able to defend yourself.
It will also require you to reinforce behaviours that are more beneficial to you, learning that you are worthy of being loved by becoming aware of your value.
You will also have to learn to make others respect you.
If you want to implement these new habits in your life, then a private coaching will give you the means to do so.