The wound of betrayal: how it manifests itself in love
Your partner has cheated on you or lied to you, or you are totally in control with men, or it is you who needs to go elsewhere.
The wound of betrayal can take many forms in love.
This article is part of a series of 5 articles I wrote about the 5 wounds of the soul according to Lise Bourbeau.
The wound of betrayal is an evolution of the wound of abandonment
Having been abandoned many times, you have lost confidence in love and you are suspicious, anticipating the worst. This wound of betrayal will try to control your doing or having and also your partner’s and this can take different patterns:
- Your partners cheat on you/lie to you or you cheat on them.
- You have difficulty trusting, especially with men.
- It is difficult for you to let go of your feelings and feel that you are losing control.
- You need to control your partner’s actions.
- You feel easily challenged by or jealous of other women.
- You may have felt that you were pushing your partner to cheat on you by talking too much about a particular woman.
- You betray yourself and sometimes accept actions that are against your values, or even lie to yourself.
- You control your actions and try to be strong and independent.
- You have trouble communicating what you really want in a relationship.
- You avoid relationships (romantic or friendship) for fear of being betrayed and you have no problem being alone, it is almost safer than being in a relationship.
- You often find yourself in situations of manipulation, power games or abuse of authority. You may have been abused or raped.
- You may find it hard to let go, or you may even develop an obsessive streak.
A simple wound can impact your love life in many ways. This is why the first step in my coaching is to do an assessment to identify the wounds that block you in love, in particular with the programme Opening up to Love.
Healing the wound of betrayal
To heal the wound of betrayal there are for me two steps:
- Understanding where this wound of betrayal comes from in your past
- De-programming this automatic reaction in the body (this step is included in individual coaching).
In this free webinar I explain why our past wounds are stored in the body.
Webinar How a wound from the past is created?
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Your challenge: focus on what you can control
Healing the wound of betrayal will enable you to react less emotionally to situations of betrayal and to betray yourself less.
It will also require you to reinforce behaviours that are more beneficial to you, by learning to focus on what is within your control zone, i.e. your actions, reactions, emotions, what you say and what you allow to happen, and to accept losing control of the other person.
You will also have to learn not to betray yourself and not to lie to yourself.
If you want to implement these new habits in your life, then my individual coaching will give you the means to do so.