Unfaithful in love: a common human problem

Unfaithful in love: a common human problem

Your partner has cheated on you or you have just cheated on your partner and you wonder why this is happening.

Being unfaithful in love depending on the stage we are in our relationship

The reasons for infidelity are different, in my opinion, if you are at the beginning of a relationship or if the infidelity occurs after several years of a relationship:

  • At the beginning of a relationship (e.g. before living together). When fidelity occurs at this stage of the relationship, it is simply that the person has changed their mind about the relationship and has not taken the time to “properly inform” the other partner of their decision. If you are the person who is being cheated on (and I understand you, because this is the love pattern that I have personally repeated for 7 years), it is important to understand why you are attracting this pattern of cheating. Watch my free webinar Understanding how a love pattern is created, to learn more.

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  • If the deception occurs after several years in the relationship, it is because the partner has not found other solutions to overcome a crisis in the couple. Here it is important to understand the underlying crisis and the willingness of each partner to overcome this crisis by being ready to question themselves. And here, let’s face it, leaving is often the easiest way out. This ability to understand and overcome couple crises is not natural. That’s why it is an important aspect I speak about in my individual coaching.

hommes et femmes infidèles en amour

Gender differences

Another aspect that is difficult to understand is that men and women do not cheat on their partners for the same reasons.

Careful, I’m going to potentially shock you.

The phases of crisis often result in the couple becoming estranged in intimacy (whether for tenderness or for sexual relations). The man has a physiological need to feel connected to a women (not only sexually just by her presence). This is why, when the couple is not feeling well, he can go to see his mother and sister more often and possibly seek the attention of other women to reassure himself.

I don’t make excuses for men. I’m just saying that if a man cheats on his wife, it’s perhaps first of all to fill this physiological need for connection. Which means a man can cheat on his wife and love her. In fact, he often realizes that right after he cheats on her. This does not mean that the woman has to forgive him.

The woman doesn’t have this same physiological need for connection (I’m not saying that she doesn’t need tenderness, but above all she needs to be good to herself in order to connect with others). If she decides to cheat on her partner, it is because she has “mourned this relationship” and for different reasons (financial, children, status) she does not wish to take this step. The woman needs to understand what she is grieving for and whether or not the relationship is really “buried” for her.

In short, infidelity is only the materialization of a deeper, underlying problem.

When this groundwork is done, it is easier to forgive and start a relationship again with the same partners BUT on a new basis.

Because when we understand why there was deception it is easier to forgive.

Do the ritual of forgiveness to help you get through this step.

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A ritual to forgive

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