If this is your case, the only way is to identify all the fears you have that are related to commitment, understand where they come from within your past, and then resetting them. My article on love patterns explains how you can reset this pattern.

That’s what I suggest in my group programs: first of all Opening up to love to take stock of what’s keeping you from opening yourself up to love and secondly my individual coaching to change/unprogram these patterns and learn the basics to happiness in your relationship.

The man needs to be confident in order to make you happy 

For men there is nothing worse than reproach. Men are often reluctant to getting involved because their wives can castrate them and lack recognition for their actions.

Indeed, why would he want to make a long-term commitment with someone who does not recognize his actions and always blaming him?

Besides, neither a woman would truly find hope in committing herself in these circumstances 😉

So a man needs reassurance:

• About what he needs to do to make his wife happy. And instead of guessing or interpreting, he’d rather have his wife communicate clearly.
• Telling him he can take decisions and nothing is imposed to him. Meaning he’s not facing an ultimatum.
• Having his partner recognising what he’s doing right, rather than focusing on what he’s doing wrong.

A woman should reassure her man in his ability to make her happy. This skill gives the woman the architect of the couple’s role, which consists in seeing her man is a different perspective; not as an enemy who flees from love, instead, learning to communicate clearly, with kindness and without blocking his needs and limits.

This requires a more detailed understanding of the physiological differences between men and women, a concrete identification of one’s own needs and what one wants in a couple, through learning communication tools for formulating demands and managing disagreements.

All of these aspects are addressed in my in-depth individual coaching.

A man needs to know that he can keep his freedom

Just like you wouldn’t want to be in a relationship if your partner controlled your every move, your partner needs to know that he, too, can do what’s important to him while being with you: his sport, his hobbies, seeing his friends.

Here again, being the architect of your couple is the key role for a woman, as she sets the terms of the relationship, the frequency and duration from the very beginning.

It will thus be fixed from the beginning if your needs to see him are compatible with his and he will not have unpleasant surprises if he proposes a commitment such as living together or getting married for example.

He may be afraid to commit or he may not want to commit.

Depending on his past experiences, he could have a real fear of re-committing or may decide to have a noncommittal phase.

It’s his right and his timing.

If he tells you or if you become aware of it, accept it and leave.

Waiting for him or trying to convince him to change his timing will only cause you to suffer from it as out of your control. It’s a personal process that he has to take if he wants to because you can’t do it for him.