Why do we mourn our ex when we know he doesn’t deserve us?

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  • Post category:Break-up

Why do we mourn our ex when we know he doesn’t deserve us?

Grieving your ex, even a disastrous one, is the result of an emotional shock with your reason. You’ve just split up and you still mourn your ex even though deep down you know he didn’t treat you well or that your relationship was doomed to failure and you’d like to understand why you have these contradictory feelings?

It’s quite simple.

It’s what we call a conflict between two minds.

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Crying over your ex: a conflict of the two brains

On one hand there is your rational brain, able to analyze the situation, in this case your love relationship and understand why this particular person was not a good match for you. Unfortunately the rational brain does not manage your emotional state, nor your love patterns.

Your emotional reactions and love patterns are managed by your reptilian brain and this programming eventually ends up being recorded in your body.

This is why, even if you understand that the relationship had no future, and the break up is best for you, you may continue to suffer from anxiety attacks, or even feel attached to the person you are breaking up with.


The solution: act first on your reptilian brain

You’ve figured out that the act of thinking (your rational brain) isn’t going to help you get over your ex.

There are 3 things you can do to affect your reptilian brain:

  • The first is to calm your reptilian brain by getting it out of its stressful situation which can be achieved through body movements, breathing exercises that will allow you to calm down the emotion you are experiencing. Here is a simple exercise that will help you calm down quickly your emotions.

  • Then, once you’re out of the breakdown mode, it’s important to understand what love pattern your reptilian brain has recorded. To do this, you will receive 4 free questions from me that will allow you to identify one of your love patterns. Send me an email at info@sandykaufmann.ch.
  • Finally, it is important to deprogram these patterns so that you don’t reproduce this emotional reaction and it goes through your body. Watch my free webinar that includes a full explanation on how to create a love pattern and why it is important to use your body to deprogram it.

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