You have been single for quite some time now and are reluctant to signing up on dating sites because you often hear negative results; it’s just for sex and nothing really serious?

Then I’m inviting you to read this article, because finding the right partner is a question of inner positioning, and moreover a question of statistics.

A question of inner positioning

In order to meet the right partner you need to be clear about the essential qualities he or she must have so that your two lives can fit together easily.

Often you figure out what you don’t want anymore, but this does not clearly define what you do want.

I’ll give you an example: if you no longer want someone who is introverted, and you’d prefer someone who is sociable and sees his friends once a week, or would you see yourself with someone socially busy that never has time for you?

Taking the time to define not only the partner you want, but also the relationship you want, is key to finding the right partner.

You can question yourself on how you particularly see life together, if you want to live with him, what kind of activities you want to do alone or in his company for example.

• If you like activities, would you like to play sports or exercise with your partner or would you prefer to play alone because you’re member of a sports association and prefer to train at a high level?
• If you have a large family, do you need to see your family often or are you willing to eat at your in-laws’ house every week?

Take the time to clearly define the type of partner you are looking for, the values they need to have and what they should like to be compatible with your way of life WITHOUT having to change them, because trying to fundamentally change the other person is delusional.

But it’s mainly a question of statistics

When you have a clear vision of what you are looking for in a partner and as a relationship, you will easily understand that there is only a small percentage of men who can really match with you.

This is where dating sites can give you an easier access to that percentage of ideal men, simply because you have access to a greater number of single men.

Be careful, however, when using the Internet

Of course, dating sites can offer you possibilities in finding your partner more easily in just a few clicks, but also give you the option to eliminate certain people on the basis of objective criteria (for example if you absolutely want someone who has never been married or has no children) or on the basis of subjective criteria such as I didn’t like his photo or profile description.

However, their profile will not speak truly about the qualities you are looking for.

What’s that all about?

Because you will only know if this person has the qualities you are looking for once you meet them in person and observe their behaviour, especially with their relatives.

Avoid judging a person only by the way they behave with you, because they could be in a seduction phase and therefore try to show themselves in their best light with you, whereas with their relatives they’d act more naturally.

The solution for finding the right partner

The solution is simple: meet the profiles you like whenever you can without necessarily committing to more.

You can get to know them by watching how they behave in real life with people they will be interacting with, for example the waiter or waitress in a restaurant and, if you get the chance, with his or her friends.

If you carefully pay attention you’d be surprised on how much you can learn about someone just by observing their behaviour.

And it’s not a waste of time.

Meeting several potential partners will help you have an even clearer vision of the partner you are looking for, as you meet more and more potential partners you could realise there are other standards that could also be important to you and that would show you it’s not a waste of time.

If you want to go further

Of course, it’s not only the definition of your ideal partner that is important to be able to open yourself up to love again and meet the right partner. It is also important to understand what love patterns you may be repeating, the wounds you have in love from past relationships, to avoid repeating them.