The advantages of dating sites

Apart from the fact that statistically it’s the place where you will easily meet singles, I personally find that dating sites offer a lot of advantages:

• It allows you to validate what you want or don’t want in a man. By meeting several potential partners you will be able to better define what you are looking for in a man.
• It’s a great opportunity to redefine how you want to be in a relationship and apply it from the very beginning. You most certainly have love patterns that you tend to repeat and you may decide to act differently in your partner selection, in your interactions with your dates.
• It puts you back in the seduction pool. After a few years of celibacy you have closed yourself and your desire of seduction may have diminished. By having dates you awaken the seductress in you (everyone is seductive in their own unique way) and this can be felt in off-site encounters.

Take the positive and minimize the negative aspect of dating sites.

The main complaints about dating sites that I have heard from my clients are: the “supermarket” aspect of love, that men are more looking for sexual partners than for a real relationship, the time invested in chatting or with someone that doesn’t lead to anything, a huge difference between the description of the profile and how the person is.

By changing the way you use dating sites you can have a more positive view over them. For example, by changing the way you use dating sites:

• Redefine your expectations of the sites: meet nice people, learn how to act from the beginning how you want to be in a couple. This will put less pressure on you.
• Minimize the time of exploration via Chat or Email and meet the person face to face. Exchanging via chat or email can give a false image of the person, especially if you have never met the person. Plus there is always a difference between what a person says about themselves and what they really are. By observing how the person behaves you will learn who they really are.
• Only accept meet-ups that bring you happiness or that are truly interesting for you. If all the men you meet won’t be the most important ones in your life, you can have a good time by getting to know them, discovering a nice place or activity. Who knows, you may even befriend some of them.

You probably noticed that I’m not giving you advice on how to optimise your profile, your photo or what to say in the first exchange moments with an interested party.

Simply because I want you to be yourself and I want the person to get in touch with you because they are interested in YOU and not in my advice or my way of saying things. 

What can make it not work well is simply your inner positioning in the face of Love.

Change your inner positioning

You can invest your time, your energy on dating sites. If deep down you believe that love can make you suffer or that you have negative love patterns in love, you won’t get the results you want.

It is mainly by understanding your fears, anxieties and reaction mechanisms in love that you will be able to open yourself up to love again and that it will work on dating sites.

My program The love assessment allows you to take stock of your love life, to understand why it doesn’t work, to identify love patterns that you repeat more or less consciously, but also to define what you are looking for in a relationship in order to optimize your chances of meeting the right person.