You have started to see someone regularly, it’s going well, you’re getting attached or regaining hope in love and suddenly you see a change in their behaviour and start to panic with a thousand thoughts crossing your mind:

• Why is my man distancing himself?
• Has my guy lost interest in me?
• Why is he becoming indifferent?
• Why is he pulling away from me?
• What did I do to make him close up like a shell?

Which leads to a flood of self-sabotaging thoughts in your head, like:

• Did I get his feelings wrong?
• Am I repeating a pattern from the past?
• Did he just want to take advantage of me and have a good time and leave once he got what he wanted
• Is this the end?

The purpose of this article is to describe the different possible scenarios that could give you more clarity over your relationship.

Case 1: This is a normal realignment phase.

A relationship goes through different stages (see my article on the different stages of a relationship) and it’s normal for each partner to ask themselves if they want to become more involved in the relationship as it evolves.

When the other partner is in this phase of choice, you may feel a certain distance or insecurity. But this is normal and you don’t need to worry.

The best way to help the other person position themselves in the relationship is by affirming your own status and being clear about where you want the relationship to go and your true feelings. This requires daring to show your vulnerability. There are no seduction games like “Push me, Pull me”, that can create a healthy and stable relationship, based on security. And if the partner chooses to end the relationship, remind yourself that in the end it’s only for the best, there is no need to attach yourself to someone who has other desires.

Case 2: He doesn’t want to commit

He’s in a phase where he’s more interested in having fun than getting involved in a relationship. And that’s his choice. In this case, the clearer you are about what you want from this relationship and the more you dare to ask him what he wants from it in return, the better you’ll be able to clarify his intentions. Keeping silent won’t help you change his mind.

Case 3: He’s afraid to commit

His feelings for you are growing then all of a sudden, he’s afraid of repeating past experiences and suffer again.

Waiting after him is not going to help him change. It is a personal choice to take the risk of falling in love again, you cannot “convince” the other person to do so. His fear may be too great and he may never take that step.

So again, when your personal timing is right and you clearly communicate your expectations about the relationship, he will need to position himself more clearly on his side.

In any case, your place in this is key.

You may have noticed that the solution to all of these situations is your alignment, your positioning, i.e. your ability to clearly express what you want from the relationship and your expectations, or that you lack alignment with what you want.

The clearer you are, the better you communicate, the more your partner will have to follow the lead and be clear.

If clearly communicating your needs and expectations seems difficult to you, it’s no coincidence, it means that you have past experiences that have made you realize that having expectations is not right or that you are not entitled to clearly communicate what you want.

Check out my free webinar to find out how you were able to record that pattern.