50. The Disney syndrome

Definition of the Disney syndrome

❤️ Watch my webinar on how to finally be happy in love!

• Idealization of a parent.  If you perceived one of your parents as unpredictable, uncontrollable and you suffered from it, you may have as a child created a story about this parent and idealized them instead of seeing them as they were with their shortcomings toward you, it is often a protection mechanism because a child is dependent on this parent and it is better to stay with one’s parents for survival. This means that automatically when you love someone you will have this tendency to idealize them, not taking their flaws or shortcomings into account.
• Accumulation of unpredictable and unexpected shocks throughout your life. If you have lived through many unpredictable, unexpected things, whether the death of someone, illness, breakups that may have been a shock, somewhat brutal life changes (careful here, the perception of the unexpected and the unpredictable for a child can be totally different from that of an adult), a birth with unforeseen events (emergency cesarean, cord, forceps) this impacts how you perceive the unknown or the unexpected and the unknown or the unexpected can become a constant threat and so you cannot tolerate not knowing and you will either anticipate the worst or imagine a positive outcome to the situation.
• A dependence on the hormonal cocktail that is secreted at the beginning of the relationship especially after the first sexual relationship. In episode 29 I tell you in more detail about the process of falling in love and I tell you about this famous hormonal cocktail that is secreted. And in fact the effect of this hormonal cocktail on a person is not the same for everyone. By observation with the people I have accompanied, I have noticed that the people who had a tumultuous past with quite a lot of chaos in their life, a lot of ups and downs had a stronger dependence on this hormonal cocktail which means that you become very quickly addicted to the other without really choosing the other.
• You want it to finally work.  You want to be in a relationship. This may come from the fact that you have already done several therapies, personal development and you want it to work this time. It is as if basically you somehow want to control a result 100 % whereas in a relationship you only have 50 % of influence, the other must also confirm their interest and act for their 50%. This can also come from social pressure or from the fact that you see your loved ones settling down and starting a family and not you or even Disney films that promise you that ultimately the Grail is to be in a couple and have children. The problem is that when you think “It has to work” you are oriented toward the result, that is “being with someone” whatever the conditions.

1. The first step is to understand which experiences from your past have distorted your inner judgment in the face of the unknown and non-control and to deprogram this protection mechanism with the psycho-corporal approach. In the case of non-control and the unknown, the body has an even greater impact because it is a life/death danger situation.
2. Consciously work on your thoughts to evaluate the person without getting carried away or envisioning the worst. A thought that can help you is for example “I can evaluate a person only after 3 months of relationship”.
3. Readjust your inner judge by breaking down the facts of your thoughts or projections, it may seem laborious to you but this introspection is the only way to see how you evaluate the other and little by little understand and better identify your biases and correct them