How to Meet People Without Dating Apps
125. How to Meet People Without Dating Apps
You’re not into dating sites, or you’ve already gone through the potential singles around you, whether through friends or at work.
You’d like to meet your man in real life, but you don’t know where or how.
This episode aims to give you a few leads.
In the previous episode I shared my dating and flirting tips.
Are You Really Making the Effort?
“I don’t get it Sandy, I go out but I don’t meet anyone in real life.” That’s a comment I hear a lot in coaching. When we dig deeper, the client often realizes:
- That she always goes out to the same places
- With the same people
- Without an open attitude conducive to meeting someone. If you think meeting someone is hard, you’ll inevitably experience it that way when meeting people — I talk about it in episode 109 Why Is Meeting Someone So Hard?
In this episode I’m going to get more hands-on and practical to multiply your opportunities to meet people in real life.
Widen Your Circle of Friends
As you get older, your friends may go out less because they’re in a relationship or have children.
The simplest way is to widen your circle of friends by meeting new people, because your new friends will know other people, and maybe one of them will become the lucky one.
You can, for example, tap into your existing network of friends and integrate into their wider circles of friends (at work, sports, etc.) or reconnect with people you’ve lost touch with via LinkedIn or Facebook/Instagram.
You can make new friends (I’ll go into detail on this in episode 126). The app Meetup or the site Internations, for example, group activities by city and offer an easy way to meet new people.
Become a Regular at Your Favorite Café
A very simple way is to become a regular at your favorite shop, café, or restaurant. After a while, the staff and other regulars will get to know you, and it might become easier for you to go out alone there or to talk to someone, because you’re on familiar ground.
Do an Activity You’re Passionate About
Did you want to learn to play tennis, start skiing, learn a language, or travel to a particular country?
Sign up for classes or a club and you’ll inevitably meet new people, with the advantage that they share the same interests as you.
The app Gotcourt, for example, lets you find a tennis partner in your area.
For running, there’s the adidas runners group, which organizes free training sessions worldwide.
Blabla language exchange lets you do a language tandem.
The international ski club in Geneva organizes ski outings every weekend.
Take Part in Single-Only Activities
Many dating sites organize singles nights, for example Single Lounge, and there are activities reserved for singles, such as cooking classes like Cook n Flirt, or speed or silent dating.
The advantage here is that you’re sure the person is available and looking for a relationship, which spares you approaching someone who’s already taken.
You can also go on vacations for singles. For example, there are ski vacations for singles, travel girlfriends, the adventurers in mixed version, or ucpa for other sports.
If you go to these events with a friend, make the effort to talk to new people.
Boost Your Professional Networking
By developing your professional network, you also meet new people and grow your social circle.
In Switzerland there are plenty of networks like BNI, Genuine Women, PWG, Women Hub, Impact Hub, Creative Mornings.
Volunteer
By helping others you can bring meaning to what you do, and it will let you meet people with values of sharing and kindness.
Get Into the Habit of Talking to Strangers
The opportunity to meet someone is everywhere: on the tram, at the gym, in bars, on the ski slopes, waiting in line at the post office, at the supermarket…
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Get Into the Habit of Talking to Strangers
The opportunity to meet someone is everywhere: on the tram, at the gym, in bars, on the ski slopes, waiting in line at the post office, at the supermarket…
Get into the habit of talking to strangers (men or women of any age, an elderly man or woman, a shopkeeper…), because it will make things easier the day you want to talk to someone you like, and you’ll automatically give off a more open attitude so that someone can approach you.
Personally, I find the encounters you can have just like that fascinating, and the enriching exchanges that can come out of them.
The Most Important Thing Is Your Intention
What will influence the results of this approach the most is your intention.
If you do all of this with the sole aim of meeting someone, you’ll quickly become frustrated every time you don’t meet potential partners.
My advice is to set the intention of meeting new people, making new acquaintances, by doing an activity you enjoy. That’s how you’ll get better results.
If Despite All This You Don’t Meet Anyone Interesting
Give dating apps a try. They’re a real opportunity despite all the preconceptions about them. With the right strategy, it’s also a simpler and easier way to meet people. Listen to my episode 23 where I give you my tips for meeting someone online.
And if you see that it’s not working either in real life or on apps, it might be a love pattern that’s keeping love at a distance. I talk more about it in this free webinar “How to free yourself from the patterns that keep us from being happy in love?”.
❤️ Check out my webinar on how to finally be happy in Love!
Going further
If you’d like to dive deeper into the topic and identify your own love patterns, there’s my book Opening up to love, available in all bookstores.
And if you need help learning all this, you can join my program Opening up to love, the fruit of my 8 years of practice. You can choose the Day of the Past option, a day of Somatic Deprogramming: psycho-corporal approach to deprogram your nervous system’s automatic patterns and reprogram new relational reflexes.
Sandy Kaufmann
is a somatic therapist and coach, based in Switzerland. She is the author of two books published by Éditions Eyrolles and has accompanied more than 600 people. She is the creator of the Somatic Deprogramming method and hosts the podcast “S’ouvrir à l’amour“, ranked in the French top 50 in the relationships category.
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