How I Re-traumatised Myself: The Impact of Chronic Stress
173. How I Re-traumatised Myself: The Impact of Chronic Stress
Today I wanted to share something more vulnerable with you.
In 2024 I felt that I had once again dysregulated my nervous system.
And there you will tell me: how is that possible, you worked on your traumas?
Yes, in fact there are 3 causes that dysregulate your nervous system:
- Shock traumas such as accident, war, bereavement…
- Developmental traumas that are created in your childhood primarily with your attachment figures
- And…. Chronic physical or psychological stress. When you live for more than 6 months with a form of stress, it can ultimately impact your nervous system.
The turning point
In 2023 I lost my father
At the same time as that
…. my son who has ADHD has a school delay and is being bullied (if you are a parent you will understand me when I say it is an almost constant stress)
…. I pass another stage in perimenopause which gives me heart palpitations (because of oestrogen dropping and iron loss due to very heavy periods) and I put on 10 kilos.
… entrepreneurship where even though I feel very lucky about what I have managed to accomplish, the year 2024 was a big challenge for me between the change of algorythme on Instagram, the arrival of 10 new podcasts in the relationships category and the release of my book (a positive stress accumulates with the rest).
And even though I take care of my nervous system, it was too much accumulated stress for my capacity and I felt that my body said to me “stop cocotte”.
I understood that I had (re)dysregulated my nervous system and that it was not just a passing mental stress when I surprised myself having default thoughts of mistrust whereas since I had worked on my love patterns I was more in a state of trust. On the physical level I saw that I had gained weight in the zones that indicate a surplus of cortisol (under the chin and belly fat, you can see it on my videos or reels) something I did not have even if I had extra kilos.
It is this realisation that led me to record a series of 5 episodes on the foundations of mental health starting with episode 174: mental health starts with the body first.
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How I am getting through it (I do not yet consider myself totally out of it even though I am on a very good path)
It is enough to follow this rule
SLOW DOWN
REDUCE SOURCES OF STRESS
REGULATE
For 2025 I revised my objectives downwards to respect my reduced capacity, I took care of my perimenopause, I changed the way I eat and I supplement to rebalance my hormones and reduce my excess cortisol, I changed my routines to reduce my cortisol production (no more cold showers, less high-intensity sport, more gentle sport) and I diversified my income sources for more financial security.
And for the rest that you cannot avoid because it is life, I made sure to support myself with more resources to avoid being too overwhelmed and to do breathwork regularly to regain capacity.
For this third cause of dysregulation, no miracle — it is the repetition of small gestures that allows you to re-regulate.
On the day you read this newsletter I am doing better. I am so grateful to know and understand my nervous system to be able to accompany myself throughout life. (I “just” used everything I pass on in my Opening Up to Love programme — no need for more)
I hope that this personal testimony will help you to better understand this third cause of dysregulation, that it can happen to anyone depending on your life circumstances and what you can do to get through it.
With love,
Sandy
Pour aller plus loin
Si tu as envie d’approfondir le sujet et d’identifier tes propres schémas amoureux, tu as mon livre S’ouvrir à l’amour disponible dans toutes les librairies.
S'ouvrir à l'Amour
Le livre qui va te permettre d'identifier tes schémas amoureux et te permettre d'apprendre les clefs pour construire une relation saine
Going further
And if you would like to work on your love patterns and transform your love life, you have the programme Opening Up to Love.
Sandy Kaufmann
is a somatic therapist and coach, based in Switzerland. She is the author of two books published by Éditions Eyrolles and has accompanied more than 600 people. She is the creator of the Somatic Deprogramming method and hosts the podcast “S’ouvrir a l’amour“, ranked in the French top 50 in the relationships category.
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