{"id":9147,"date":"2020-06-03T21:23:06","date_gmt":"2020-06-03T21:23:06","guid":{"rendered":"https:\/\/sandykaufmann.ch\/how-do-you-grieve-a-relationship\/"},"modified":"2025-10-07T08:44:05","modified_gmt":"2025-10-07T08:44:05","slug":"how-do-you-grieve-a-relationship","status":"publish","type":"post","link":"https:\/\/sandykaufmann.ch\/en\/how-do-you-grieve-a-relationship\/","title":{"rendered":"How do you grieve a relationship?"},"content":{"rendered":"\t\t
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<\/span>How do you grieve a relationship?<\/span><\/h2>\t\t\t\t<\/div>\n\t\t\t\t<\/div>\n\t\t\t\t\t<\/div>\n\t\t<\/div>\n\t\t\t\t\t<\/div>\n\t\t<\/section>\n\t\t\t\t
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<\/p>\n

You just broke up and you can’t move on. Your thoughts go from feeling hurt and failing to anger. And sometimes you even have hope that the separation is not final.<\/p>\n

In clear, this emotional turmoil shows that you’re still in shock.<\/p>\n

To recover from a breakup and grieve, there are several stages:<\/p>\n

1. Dealing with shock<\/b><\/p>\n

It doesn’t matter who decided to end the relationship, the moment it happens is a shock, even if you knew the relationship wasn’t working or that the breakup was imminent.<\/p>\n

Why is that?<\/p>\n

Because a decision has been made and your brain doesn’t know the consequences yet.<\/p>\n

This shock puts the body in a state of alert, you often have physical manifestations such as feeling a lump in your stomach, crying all the time, feeling like the ground is dissolving under your feet or even not feeling anything at all.<\/p>\n

You may even go into total denial, i.e. you don’t believe that the relationship is really over.<\/p>\n

All of these symptoms are protective mechanisms in your body to help you deal with this shock.<\/p>\n

The solution?<\/p>\n

Scan through the body. If you try to reason yourself at this point, it won’t help, because your survival brain is in control, not your rational brain:<\/p>\n

\u2022 Exercise or yoga
\u2022 Practice breathing exercises try this ECAP Method<\/p>\n

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\u2022 Whenever a negative emotion invades you, listen to this free <\/span>emergency meditation<\/a> to help you calm down and get out of this emergency mode<\/span><\/p>\n

\u2022 Take Rescue drops from Dr. Bach (unless contraindicated by your doctor) to help your body eliminate stress.<\/p>\n

2. Wearing yourself off<\/b><\/p>\n

When you’ve been in a relationship and especially if you’ve slept together often, the body produces a hormonal cocktail of happiness and attachment in the presence of your partner.<\/p>\n

When you break up, you literally go into withdrawal from this hormonal cocktail, even if the relationship wasn’t fulfilling.<\/p>\n

To help you go through the withdrawal gently, try spend as much time as possible with people you love. This will help you compensate for the hormonal decrease due to your separation by simply being around other people you care about.<\/p>\n

You can also listen daily to this selflove meditation<\/p>\n

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3. Bringing out your anger<\/strong><\/b><\/p>\n

It’s a crucial step in the grieving process.<\/p>\n

Depending on your family history, this stage will be more or less difficult to externalise, because this emotion is very much influenced by your environment (how your family deals with anger, how the country where you live or your culture accepts anger).<\/p>\n

Here again, your anger is not intellectual\/rational, it is physical and it is important to let it out.<\/p>\n

Anger is imprinted, stored in the organ of the liver, and if it is not released, it could turn into anguish, self-judgment, or even guilt, which will only lengthen the actual grieving phase.<\/p>\n

The first step is to welcome and feel your anger:<\/p>\n