{"id":27194,"date":"2020-07-27T08:57:11","date_gmt":"2020-07-27T08:57:11","guid":{"rendered":"https:\/\/sandykaufmann.ch\/a-non-response-is-also-an-answer\/"},"modified":"2025-10-07T08:35:13","modified_gmt":"2025-10-07T08:35:13","slug":"a-non-response-is-also-an-answer","status":"publish","type":"post","link":"https:\/\/sandykaufmann.ch\/en\/a-non-response-is-also-an-answer\/","title":{"rendered":"A non-response is also an answer"},"content":{"rendered":"\t\t<div data-elementor-type=\"wp-post\" data-elementor-id=\"27194\" class=\"elementor elementor-27194 elementor-13907\" data-elementor-post-type=\"post\">\n\t\t\t\t\t\t<section class=\"elementor-section elementor-top-section elementor-element elementor-element-525528d6 elementor-section-content-top elementor-section-full_width elementor-section-height-min-height elementor-section-items-bottom elementor-section-height-default\" data-id=\"525528d6\" data-element_type=\"section\" data-settings=\"{&quot;background_background&quot;:&quot;classic&quot;}\">\n\t\t\t\t\t\t<div class=\"elementor-container elementor-column-gap-default\">\n\t\t\t\t\t<div class=\"elementor-column elementor-col-100 elementor-top-column elementor-element elementor-element-3dd73755\" data-id=\"3dd73755\" data-element_type=\"column\" data-settings=\"{&quot;background_background&quot;:&quot;classic&quot;}\">\n\t\t\t<div class=\"elementor-widget-wrap elementor-element-populated\">\n\t\t\t\t\t\t<div class=\"elementor-element elementor-element-2cf677de elementor-widget elementor-widget-heading\" data-id=\"2cf677de\" data-element_type=\"widget\" data-widget_type=\"heading.default\">\n\t\t\t\t<div class=\"elementor-widget-container\">\n\t\t\t\t\t<h2 class=\"elementor-heading-title elementor-size-xl\"><span class=\"ez-toc-section\" id=\"A_non-response_is_also_an_answer\"><\/span>A non-response is also an answer<span class=\"ez-toc-section-end\"><\/span><\/h2>\t\t\t\t<\/div>\n\t\t\t\t<\/div>\n\t\t\t\t\t<\/div>\n\t\t<\/div>\n\t\t\t\t\t<\/div>\n\t\t<\/section>\n\t\t\t\t<section class=\"elementor-section elementor-top-section elementor-element elementor-element-35bdebd7 elementor-section-boxed elementor-section-height-default elementor-section-height-default\" data-id=\"35bdebd7\" data-element_type=\"section\">\n\t\t\t\t\t\t<div class=\"elementor-container elementor-column-gap-default\">\n\t\t\t\t\t<div class=\"elementor-column elementor-col-100 elementor-top-column elementor-element elementor-element-29baab3d\" data-id=\"29baab3d\" data-element_type=\"column\">\n\t\t\t<div class=\"elementor-widget-wrap elementor-element-populated\">\n\t\t\t\t\t\t<div class=\"elementor-element elementor-element-35eb504d elementor-widget elementor-widget-text-editor\" data-id=\"35eb504d\" data-element_type=\"widget\" data-widget_type=\"text-editor.default\">\n\t\t\t\t<div class=\"elementor-widget-container\">\n\t\t\t\t\t\t\t\t\t<p><\/p>\n<p>You&#8217;ve just been ghosted, meaning you suddenly stopped hearing from your lover or he stops texting you overnight.<\/p>\n<p>Or every time you ask your partner for a commitment from him or something important to you, he switches to<\/p>\n<p>&#8220;Silence&#8221;<\/p>\n<p>&#8220;I&#8217;ll tell you later,&#8221; but that later never happens.<\/p>\n<p>It&#8217;s like he can&#8217;t hear what you&#8217;re asking for.<\/p>\n<p><strong>A non-response is also a response.<\/strong><\/p>\n<p>I know it can hurt, but a non-response is also an answer.<\/p>\n<p>The difficult thing is the interpretation of that non-response, which is, what he says no to:<\/p>\n<ul>\n<li>He&#8217;s refusing to answer right away because he&#8217;s too busy?<\/li>\n<li>He doesn&#8217;t want to meet the demand (commitment or need)?<\/li>\n<li>Or is he just saying no to the relationship?<\/li>\n<\/ul>\n<p>Cutting it short, this non-response simply tells you that he&#8217;s saying no, but not exactly to what.<\/p>\n<p><strong>Elusion strategy is useless<\/strong><\/p>\n<p>Sitting around waiting isn&#8217;t going to help you clear his negative answer.<\/p>\n<p>It&#8217;ll do quite the opposite.<\/p>\n<p>This expectation will give you plenty of opportunities to imagine the worst-case scenarios (if any), <a href=\"https:\/\/sandykaufmann.ch\/en\/he-doesnt-answer-me-and-im-anxious-what-can-i-do\/\">this article<\/a> will give you tips on how to stop worrying too much).<\/p>\n<p>I understand that it takes courage to clarify a no. It requires you to accept some form of rejection.\u00a0At the same time, do you want to keep hoping for nothing or be with someone who isn&#8217;t really interested or willing to commit?<\/p>\n<p>By clarifying this no, you also give yourself the right to be positively surprised by your partner&#8217;s response.\u00a0For example, he may say no to your commitment proposal as you have suggested, but he is still willing to move forward in the relationship.<\/p>\n<p>Download this Selflove-Meditation to give you the courage to take that step forward.<\/p>\t\t\t\t\t\t\t\t<\/div>\n\t\t\t\t<\/div>\n\t\t\t\t\t<\/div>\n\t\t<\/div>\n\t\t\t\t\t<\/div>\n\t\t<\/section>\n\t\t\t\t<section class=\"elementor-section elementor-top-section elementor-element elementor-element-5d88557 elementor-section-full_width elementor-section-height-default elementor-section-height-default\" data-id=\"5d88557\" data-element_type=\"section\" data-settings=\"{&quot;background_background&quot;:&quot;classic&quot;}\">\n\t\t\t\t\t\t<div class=\"elementor-container elementor-column-gap-no\">\n\t\t\t\t\t<div class=\"elementor-column elementor-col-100 elementor-top-column elementor-element elementor-element-3a94fb2\" data-id=\"3a94fb2\" data-element_type=\"column\">\n\t\t\t<div class=\"elementor-widget-wrap\">\n\t\t\t\t\t\t\t<\/div>\n\t\t<\/div>\n\t\t\t\t\t<\/div>\n\t\t<\/section>\n\t\t\t\t<section class=\"elementor-section elementor-top-section elementor-element elementor-element-36979aa8 elementor-section-boxed elementor-section-height-default elementor-section-height-default\" data-id=\"36979aa8\" data-element_type=\"section\">\n\t\t\t\t\t\t<div class=\"elementor-container elementor-column-gap-default\">\n\t\t\t\t\t<div class=\"elementor-column elementor-col-100 elementor-top-column elementor-element elementor-element-203279c1\" data-id=\"203279c1\" data-element_type=\"column\">\n\t\t\t<div class=\"elementor-widget-wrap elementor-element-populated\">\n\t\t\t\t\t\t<div class=\"elementor-element elementor-element-de658d1 elementor-widget elementor-widget-spacer\" data-id=\"de658d1\" data-element_type=\"widget\" data-widget_type=\"spacer.default\">\n\t\t\t\t<div class=\"elementor-widget-container\">\n\t\t\t\t\t\t\t<div class=\"elementor-spacer\">\n\t\t\t<div class=\"elementor-spacer-inner\"><\/div>\n\t\t<\/div>\n\t\t\t\t\t\t<\/div>\n\t\t\t\t<\/div>\n\t\t\t\t<div class=\"elementor-element elementor-element-220e8b90 elementor-widget elementor-widget-text-editor\" data-id=\"220e8b90\" data-element_type=\"widget\" data-widget_type=\"text-editor.default\">\n\t\t\t\t<div class=\"elementor-widget-container\">\n\t\t\t\t\t\t\t\t\t<p><strong>Clarify the no<\/strong><\/p>\n<p>It&#8217;s your right to ask for an answer to your question again.<\/p>\n<p>Then exercise that right.<\/p>\n<p>And clarify.\u00a0Ask him for a clear answer to your question.<\/p>\n<p>And if the answer is no, you also have the right to ask him why.<\/p>\n<p>This will allow you to understand his point of view and perhaps find a common conclusion.<\/p>\n<p><strong>And if it&#8217;s really a no<\/strong><\/p>\n<p>It&#8217;s up to you to decide what you want, having full knowledge of the facts:<\/p>\n<ul>\n<li>Can you live with that no?<\/li>\n<li>By accepting this no, which yes do you renounce to?<\/li>\n<li>And if you can&#8217;t live with that no, what decision do you have to make on your own?<\/li>\n<\/ul>\n<p>Staying with someone who doesn&#8217;t make you happy or who doesn&#8217;t want to commit, will not only make you suffer, but will also make you miss opportunities like meeting someone who will be more compatible with you.<\/p>\n<p>Read <a href=\"https:\/\/sandykaufmann.ch\/en\/how-do-you-grieve-a-relationship\/\">this article to grieve from your relationship.<\/a> easier.<\/p>\t\t\t\t\t\t\t\t<\/div>\n\t\t\t\t<\/div>\n\t\t\t\t<div class=\"elementor-element elementor-element-75119a6c elementor-widget elementor-widget-text-editor\" data-id=\"75119a6c\" data-element_type=\"widget\" data-widget_type=\"text-editor.default\">\n\t\t\t\t<div class=\"elementor-widget-container\">\n\t\t\t\t\t\t\t\t\t<p>\n<div id=\"sb_instagram\"  class=\"sbi sbi_mob_col_1 sbi_tab_col_2 sbi_col_6\" style=\"padding-bottom: 10px; background-color: rgb(255,255,255); width: 100%;\"\t data-feedid=\"sbi_17841411036917986#6\"  data-res=\"thumb\" data-cols=\"6\" data-colsmobile=\"1\" data-colstablet=\"2\" data-num=\"6\" data-nummobile=\"\" data-item-padding=\"5\"\t data-shortcode-atts=\"{}\"  data-postid=\"27194\" data-locatornonce=\"b22441c788\" data-imageaspectratio=\"1:1\" data-sbi-flags=\"favorLocal,ajaxPostLoad,gdpr\">\n\t\n\t<div id=\"sbi_images\"  style=\"gap: 10px;\">\n\t\t\t<\/div>\n\n\t<div id=\"sbi_load\" >\n\n\t\n\t\n<\/div>\n\t\t<span class=\"sbi_resized_image_data\" data-feed-id=\"sbi_17841411036917986#6\"\n\t\t  data-resized=\"{&quot;18002596076731361&quot;:{&quot;id&quot;:&quot;658866343_1230724972379717_5594600146689931042_n&quot;,&quot;ratio&quot;:&quot;0.56&quot;,&quot;sizes&quot;:{&quot;full&quot;:640,&quot;low&quot;:320,&quot;thumb&quot;:150},&quot;extension&quot;:&quot;.jpg&quot;},&quot;18019655078818472&quot;:{&quot;id&quot;:&quot;659595544_2363107677519214_8272542725721588192_n&quot;,&quot;ratio&quot;:&quot;0.56&quot;,&quot;sizes&quot;:{&quot;full&quot;:640,&quot;low&quot;:320,&quot;thumb&quot;:150},&quot;extension&quot;:&quot;.jpg&quot;},&quot;18066716987655414&quot;:{&quot;id&quot;:&quot;661321645_1650249692646794_3930786977650721597_n&quot;,&quot;ratio&quot;:&quot;0.56&quot;,&quot;sizes&quot;:{&quot;full&quot;:640,&quot;low&quot;:320,&quot;thumb&quot;:150},&quot;extension&quot;:&quot;.jpg&quot;},&quot;18194702287362328&quot;:{&quot;id&quot;:&quot;669701327_3899650443500490_246351929511394437_n&quot;,&quot;ratio&quot;:&quot;0.56&quot;,&quot;sizes&quot;:{&quot;full&quot;:640,&quot;low&quot;:320,&quot;thumb&quot;:150},&quot;extension&quot;:&quot;.jpg&quot;},&quot;18117272896631212&quot;:{&quot;id&quot;:&quot;662634044_984391974154862_4116608656596418071_n&quot;,&quot;ratio&quot;:&quot;0.56&quot;,&quot;sizes&quot;:{&quot;full&quot;:640,&quot;low&quot;:320,&quot;thumb&quot;:150},&quot;extension&quot;:&quot;.jpg&quot;},&quot;18100125616799355&quot;:{&quot;id&quot;:&quot;670401366_1438748587479101_1301450318327564828_n&quot;,&quot;ratio&quot;:&quot;0.56&quot;,&quot;sizes&quot;:{&quot;full&quot;:640,&quot;low&quot;:320,&quot;thumb&quot;:150},&quot;extension&quot;:&quot;.jpg&quot;}}\">\n\t<\/span>\n\t<\/div>\n\n<\/p>\n\t\t\t\t\t\t\t\t<\/div>\n\t\t\t\t<\/div>\n\t\t\t\t\t<\/div>\n\t\t<\/div>\n\t\t\t\t\t<\/div>\n\t\t<\/section>\n\t\t\t\t<section class=\"elementor-section elementor-top-section elementor-element elementor-element-6b1b9eeb elementor-section-full_width elementor-section-height-min-height elementor-section-items-stretch elementor-section-content-middle elementor-section-height-default\" data-id=\"6b1b9eeb\" data-element_type=\"section\">\n\t\t\t\t\t\t<div class=\"elementor-container elementor-column-gap-default\">\n\t\t\t\t\t<div class=\"elementor-column elementor-col-50 elementor-top-column elementor-element elementor-element-4f6f4953\" data-id=\"4f6f4953\" data-element_type=\"column\" data-settings=\"{&quot;background_background&quot;:&quot;classic&quot;}\">\n\t\t\t<div class=\"elementor-widget-wrap elementor-element-populated\">\n\t\t\t\t\t\t<section class=\"elementor-section elementor-inner-section elementor-element elementor-element-3726fc91 elementor-section-height-default elementor-section-boxed elementor-section-height-default\" data-id=\"3726fc91\" data-element_type=\"section\">\n\t\t\t\t\t\t<div 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href=\"https:\/\/sandykaufmann.ch\/en\/a-non-response-is-also-an-answer\/#A_non-response_is_also_an_answer\" >A non-response is also an answer<\/a><ul class='ez-toc-list-level-5' ><li class='ez-toc-heading-level-5'><ul class='ez-toc-list-level-5' ><li class='ez-toc-heading-level-5'><ul class='ez-toc-list-level-5' ><li class='ez-toc-heading-level-5'><a class=\"ez-toc-link ez-toc-heading-2\" href=\"https:\/\/sandykaufmann.ch\/en\/a-non-response-is-also-an-answer\/#Facebook\" >Facebook<\/a><\/li><li class='ez-toc-page-1 ez-toc-heading-level-5'><a class=\"ez-toc-link ez-toc-heading-3\" href=\"https:\/\/sandykaufmann.ch\/en\/a-non-response-is-also-an-answer\/#Instagram\" >Instagram<\/a><\/li><li class='ez-toc-page-1 ez-toc-heading-level-5'><a class=\"ez-toc-link ez-toc-heading-4\" href=\"https:\/\/sandykaufmann.ch\/en\/a-non-response-is-also-an-answer\/#Youtube\" >Youtube<\/a><\/li><\/ul><\/li><\/ul><\/li><\/ul><\/li><\/ul><\/nav><\/div>\n","protected":false},"excerpt":{"rendered":"<p>A non-response is also an answer You&#8217;ve just been ghosted, meaning you suddenly stopped hearing from your lover or he stops texting you overnight. Or every time you ask your partner for a commitment from him or something important to you, he switches to &#8220;Silence&#8221; &#8220;I&#8217;ll tell you later,&#8221; but that later never happens. 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