{"id":1240541,"date":"2026-10-21T13:35:16","date_gmt":"2026-10-21T13:35:16","guid":{"rendered":"https:\/\/sandykaufmann.ch\/?p=1240541"},"modified":"2026-10-21T14:19:46","modified_gmt":"2026-10-21T14:19:46","slug":"84-the-emotional-bank-account","status":"publish","type":"post","link":"https:\/\/sandykaufmann.ch\/en\/84-the-emotional-bank-account\/","title":{"rendered":"84. The emotional bank account"},"content":{"rendered":"\t\t
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The emotional bank account<\/p>\t\t\t\t<\/div>\n\t\t\t\t<\/div>\n\t\t\t\t\t<\/div>\n\t\t<\/div>\n\t\t\t\t\t<\/div>\n\t\t<\/section>\n\t\t\t\t

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\n\t\t\t\t\t\t\t\t\tI can already hear you saying \u201cbut Sandy, do you really think keeping apothecary-style accounts in a relationship is a good thing ? <\/span>Isn\u2019t it better to give without expectation, as much as you want to give ?<\/b> When you are a friend or a partner with someone, you should not count.\u201d<\/span>\nTo which I answer you : \u201cHow do you feel in a romantic relationship that only goes one way or when your girlfriend asks you for yet another favor without ever returning the favor to you ?\u201d Annoyed, used perhaps, or you will drift away without realizing it consciously.<\/span> \nThis concept of the emotional bank account I used for myself to assess how satisfied I was with my current relationships<\/b> (my perception of whether the relationship had more of a positive or negative balance for me) and how to change them without only asking the other to give me what I wanted.<\/span>\nI learned 15 years later that this concept was taken up in Stephen Covey\u2019s best seller The 7 Habits of Highly Effective People and that he gave a list of behaviors that bring \u201ccredit\u201d to the relationship, a concept that was presented and expanded in episodes 153<\/a> and 154<\/a> of the podcast Change ma vie<\/a> where Clotilde Dusoulier gives you an interesting reading grid to assess what you bring to the relationship and the biases that can skew the perception of what the other brings to the relationship.<\/span>\nIn this episode I am going to share with you the angle from which I personally used this emotional bank account, <\/span>the advantages of assessing your relationships from this angle, what comes as a debit or a credit to the bank account<\/b> and how you can influence the balance of the emotional bank account<\/b>. I will add a few tips from David Bradford and Carole Robin taken from their book Connect to develop extraordinary relationships.<\/span> \n\t\t\t\t\t\t\t\t<\/div>\n\t\t\t\t<\/div>\n\t\t\t\t
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