{"id":1239361,"date":"2026-10-21T07:51:01","date_gmt":"2026-10-21T07:51:01","guid":{"rendered":"https:\/\/sandykaufmann.ch\/?p=1239361"},"modified":"2026-10-21T09:12:55","modified_gmt":"2026-10-21T09:12:55","slug":"89-attachment-styles-and-the-nervous-system","status":"publish","type":"post","link":"https:\/\/sandykaufmann.ch\/en\/89-attachment-styles-and-the-nervous-system\/","title":{"rendered":"89. Attachment styles and the nervous system"},"content":{"rendered":"\t\t<div data-elementor-type=\"wp-post\" data-elementor-id=\"1239361\" class=\"elementor elementor-1239361 elementor-1068182\" data-elementor-post-type=\"post\">\n\t\t\t\t\t\t<section class=\"elementor-section elementor-top-section elementor-element elementor-element-7ed86594 elementor-section-content-top elementor-section-full_width elementor-section-height-min-height elementor-section-items-bottom elementor-section-height-default\" data-id=\"7ed86594\" data-element_type=\"section\" data-e-type=\"section\" data-settings=\"{&quot;background_background&quot;:&quot;classic&quot;}\">\n\t\t\t\t\t\t<div class=\"elementor-container elementor-column-gap-default\">\n\t\t\t\t\t<div class=\"elementor-column elementor-col-100 elementor-top-column elementor-element elementor-element-6ea7bd98\" data-id=\"6ea7bd98\" data-element_type=\"column\" data-e-type=\"column\" data-settings=\"{&quot;background_background&quot;:&quot;classic&quot;}\">\n\t\t\t<div class=\"elementor-widget-wrap elementor-element-populated\">\n\t\t\t\t\t\t<div class=\"elementor-element elementor-element-3d639127 elementor-widget elementor-widget-heading\" data-id=\"3d639127\" data-element_type=\"widget\" data-e-type=\"widget\" data-widget_type=\"heading.default\">\n\t\t\t\t<div class=\"elementor-widget-container\">\n\t\t\t\t\t<p class=\"elementor-heading-title elementor-size-xl\">Attachment styles and the nervous system<\/p>\t\t\t\t<\/div>\n\t\t\t\t<\/div>\n\t\t\t\t\t<\/div>\n\t\t<\/div>\n\t\t\t\t\t<\/div>\n\t\t<\/section>\n\t\t\t\t<section class=\"elementor-section elementor-top-section elementor-element elementor-element-62d37295 elementor-section-boxed elementor-section-height-default elementor-section-height-default\" data-id=\"62d37295\" data-element_type=\"section\" data-e-type=\"section\">\n\t\t\t\t\t\t<div class=\"elementor-container elementor-column-gap-default\">\n\t\t\t\t\t<div class=\"elementor-column elementor-col-100 elementor-top-column elementor-element elementor-element-4e162bd6\" data-id=\"4e162bd6\" data-element_type=\"column\" data-e-type=\"column\">\n\t\t\t<div class=\"elementor-widget-wrap elementor-element-populated\">\n\t\t\t\t\t\t<div class=\"elementor-element elementor-element-633dc5e6 elementor-widget elementor-widget-text-editor\" data-id=\"633dc5e6\" data-element_type=\"widget\" data-e-type=\"widget\" data-widget_type=\"text-editor.default\">\n\t\t\t\t<div class=\"elementor-widget-container\">\n\t\t\t\t\t\t\t\t\t<p><span style=\"font-weight: 400;\">You have been many to ask me for an episode on <\/span><b>attachment styles, a theory developed by John Bowlby and then Mary Ainsworth<\/b><span style=\"font-weight: 400;\">. What if attachment styles exactly reflected your default nervous system?<\/span><\/p><p>In episode 89 of my podcast S\u2019ouvrir \u00e0 l\u2019Amour, we are going to talk about the 4 attachment styles, and the ones I encounter most in my clients after 8 years of practice.&nbsp;<\/p>\t\t\t\t\t\t\t\t<\/div>\n\t\t\t\t<\/div>\n\t\t\t\t<div class=\"elementor-element elementor-element-693bb58 elementor-hidden-desktop elementor-hidden-tablet elementor-hidden-mobile elementor-widget elementor-widget-html\" data-id=\"693bb58\" data-element_type=\"widget\" data-e-type=\"widget\" data-widget_type=\"html.default\">\n\t\t\t\t<div class=\"elementor-widget-container\">\n\t\t\t\t\t<iframe name=\"Ausha Podcast Player\" frameborder=\"0\" loading=\"lazy\" id=\"ausha-qfhx\" height=\"220\" style=\"border: none; width:100%; height:220px\" src=\"https:\/\/player.ausha.co\/index.html?showId=bjPkYiPMPlqo&color=%23d13523&podcastId=oKAl9hRvnD8k&v=3&playerId=ausha-qfhx\"><\/iframe><script src=\"https:\/\/player.ausha.co\/ausha-player.js\"><\/script>\t\t\t\t<\/div>\n\t\t\t\t<\/div>\n\t\t\t\t<div class=\"elementor-element elementor-element-2b93539 elementor-widget elementor-widget-video\" data-id=\"2b93539\" data-element_type=\"widget\" data-e-type=\"widget\" data-settings=\"{&quot;youtube_url&quot;:&quot;https:\\\/\\\/youtu.be\\\/MCnSdIT-4hE&quot;,&quot;video_type&quot;:&quot;youtube&quot;,&quot;controls&quot;:&quot;yes&quot;}\" data-widget_type=\"video.default\">\n\t\t\t\t<div class=\"elementor-widget-container\">\n\t\t\t\t\t\t\t<div class=\"elementor-wrapper elementor-open-inline\">\n\t\t\t<div class=\"elementor-video\"><\/div>\t\t<\/div>\n\t\t\t\t\t\t<\/div>\n\t\t\t\t<\/div>\n\t\t\t\t\t<\/div>\n\t\t<\/div>\n\t\t\t\t\t<\/div>\n\t\t<\/section>\n\t\t\t\t<section class=\"elementor-section elementor-inner-section elementor-element elementor-element-4b747fae elementor-section-boxed elementor-section-height-default elementor-section-height-default\" data-id=\"4b747fae\" data-element_type=\"section\" data-e-type=\"section\">\n\t\t\t\t\t\t<div class=\"elementor-container elementor-column-gap-default\">\n\t\t\t\t\t<div class=\"elementor-column elementor-col-100 elementor-inner-column elementor-element elementor-element-1478e3b2\" data-id=\"1478e3b2\" data-element_type=\"column\" data-e-type=\"column\">\n\t\t\t<div class=\"elementor-widget-wrap\">\n\t\t\t\t\t\t\t<\/div>\n\t\t<\/div>\n\t\t\t\t\t<\/div>\n\t\t<\/section>\n\t\t\t\t<section class=\"elementor-section elementor-top-section elementor-element elementor-element-4fa4c09b elementor-section-boxed elementor-section-height-default elementor-section-height-default\" data-id=\"4fa4c09b\" data-element_type=\"section\" data-e-type=\"section\">\n\t\t\t\t\t\t<div class=\"elementor-container elementor-column-gap-default\">\n\t\t\t\t\t<div class=\"elementor-column elementor-col-100 elementor-top-column elementor-element elementor-element-418898d7\" data-id=\"418898d7\" data-element_type=\"column\" data-e-type=\"column\">\n\t\t\t<div class=\"elementor-widget-wrap elementor-element-populated\">\n\t\t\t\t\t\t<div class=\"elementor-element elementor-element-6a49aba elementor-widget elementor-widget-heading\" data-id=\"6a49aba\" data-element_type=\"widget\" data-e-type=\"widget\" data-widget_type=\"heading.default\">\n\t\t\t\t<div class=\"elementor-widget-container\">\n\t\t\t\t\t<h2 class=\"elementor-heading-title elementor-size-default\"><span class=\"ez-toc-section\" id=\"Attachment_styles_and_the_nervous_system\"><\/span>Attachment styles and the nervous system<span class=\"ez-toc-section-end\"><\/span><\/h2>\t\t\t\t<\/div>\n\t\t\t\t<\/div>\n\t\t\t\t<div class=\"elementor-element elementor-element-71a4585 elementor-widget elementor-widget-text-editor\" data-id=\"71a4585\" data-element_type=\"widget\" data-e-type=\"widget\" data-widget_type=\"text-editor.default\">\n\t\t\t\t<div class=\"elementor-widget-container\">\n\t\t\t\t\t\t\t\t\t<span style=\"font-weight: 400;\">Following your many requests on this subject, I am going to talk to you about attachment styles.&nbsp;<\/span>\n<span style=\"font-weight: 400;\">What is this attachment theory again that was developed by John Bowlby and Mary Ainsworth ? What are the <\/span><b>four attachment styles<\/b><span style=\"font-weight: 400;\"> ? And how do these attachment styles reflect the default state of your autonomic nervous system ? And what can affect or impact your attachment styles ? For me, it is clearly not only the attachment figures (aka the parents) who create your attachment style. <\/span>\n<p class=\"has-background\" style=\"background-color: #eeeeee;\">\u2764\ufe0f Watch <strong><a href=\"https:\/\/sandykaufmann.ch\/en\/registrationpastwounds\/\" target=\"_blank\" rel=\"noreferrer noopener\">my webinar <\/a><\/strong>on how to finally be happy in love!<\/p>\n\t\t\t\t\t\t\t\t<\/div>\n\t\t\t\t<\/div>\n\t\t\t\t<div class=\"elementor-element elementor-element-574afea elementor-widget elementor-widget-heading\" data-id=\"574afea\" data-element_type=\"widget\" data-e-type=\"widget\" data-widget_type=\"heading.default\">\n\t\t\t\t<div class=\"elementor-widget-container\">\n\t\t\t\t\t<h2 class=\"elementor-heading-title elementor-size-default\"><span class=\"ez-toc-section\" id=\"Attachment_theory\"><\/span>Attachment theory <span class=\"ez-toc-section-end\"><\/span><\/h2>\t\t\t\t<\/div>\n\t\t\t\t<\/div>\n\t\t\t\t<div class=\"elementor-element elementor-element-63fd0d5 elementor-widget elementor-widget-text-editor\" data-id=\"63fd0d5\" data-element_type=\"widget\" data-e-type=\"widget\" data-widget_type=\"text-editor.default\">\n\t\t\t\t<div class=\"elementor-widget-container\">\n\t\t\t\t\t\t\t\t\t<p><span style=\"font-weight: 400;\">The psychiatrist John Bowlby explains that <\/span><b>the first experiences of attachment, of relationships you lived, mainly with the people who took care of you, will shape the way you interact with others in your relationships and that this will also have an impact on your self-confidence<\/b><span style=\"font-weight: 400;\">, your self-esteem and what you feel entitled, ultimately, to be, to do or not to do in a relationship. John Bowlby and then Mary Ainsworth, who continued the research work that John Bowlby had set up, identified four attachment styles.&nbsp;<\/span><\/p>\n<p><span style=\"font-weight: 400;\">I will try to describe them one by one and then see what may have happened in the past for each of these attachments and how it shows up in the person as an adult.&nbsp;<\/span><\/p>\n\t\t\t\t\t\t\t\t<\/div>\n\t\t\t\t<\/div>\n\t\t\t\t<div class=\"elementor-element elementor-element-4eea8d2 elementor-widget elementor-widget-heading\" data-id=\"4eea8d2\" data-element_type=\"widget\" data-e-type=\"widget\" data-widget_type=\"heading.default\">\n\t\t\t\t<div class=\"elementor-widget-container\">\n\t\t\t\t\t<h2 class=\"elementor-heading-title elementor-size-default\"><span class=\"ez-toc-section\" id=\"The_secure_attachment_style\"><\/span>The secure attachment style<span class=\"ez-toc-section-end\"><\/span><\/h2>\t\t\t\t<\/div>\n\t\t\t\t<\/div>\n\t\t\t\t<div class=\"elementor-element elementor-element-7fcc279 elementor-widget elementor-widget-text-editor\" data-id=\"7fcc279\" data-element_type=\"widget\" data-e-type=\"widget\" data-widget_type=\"text-editor.default\">\n\t\t\t\t<div class=\"elementor-widget-container\">\n\t\t\t\t\t\t\t\t\t<p><span style=\"font-weight: 400;\">Secure attachment occurs when the child felt, and once again it is the child\u2019s perception, so it is not necessarily 100% a reflection of reality, but it is <\/span><b>when the child perceived a warm and loving bond between their parent(s) and themselves, when the child generally felt loved<\/b><span style=\"font-weight: 400;\">, when the child felt taken care of, when they were able to develop healthy bonds and relationships with those around them, when the child also felt able to say no, to disagree or to have uncomfortable emotions and not be excluded for having felt these emotions. <\/span><b>When the child felt this ability to be totally themselves<\/b><span style=\"font-weight: 400;\">, even in their imperfect part and that it did not break the bond, that there was this security that the bond was always there, what does that do? It will develop a rather secure attachment and in adulthood, it will give <\/span><b>people who have a certain ease in establishing relationships<\/b><span style=\"font-weight: 400;\">, whether with men or women, people who will have an ease in having long-term relationships because they will feel truly legitimate in being themselves in a relationship, so who will not have this fear of being abandoned, this fear of being rejected, who will have a natural trust in the other, who will feel this benefit of being in a relationship, precisely because they experienced this secure attachment in the past. <\/span><\/p>\t\t\t\t\t\t\t\t<\/div>\n\t\t\t\t<\/div>\n\t\t\t\t<div class=\"elementor-element elementor-element-034503c elementor-widget elementor-widget-heading\" data-id=\"034503c\" data-element_type=\"widget\" data-e-type=\"widget\" data-widget_type=\"heading.default\">\n\t\t\t\t<div class=\"elementor-widget-container\">\n\t\t\t\t\t<h2 class=\"elementor-heading-title elementor-size-default\"><span class=\"ez-toc-section\" id=\"The_anxious-ambivalent_attachment_style\"><\/span>The anxious-ambivalent attachment style<span class=\"ez-toc-section-end\"><\/span><\/h2>\t\t\t\t<\/div>\n\t\t\t\t<\/div>\n\t\t\t\t<div class=\"elementor-element elementor-element-ae423ec elementor-widget elementor-widget-text-editor\" data-id=\"ae423ec\" data-element_type=\"widget\" data-e-type=\"widget\" data-widget_type=\"text-editor.default\">\n\t\t\t\t<div class=\"elementor-widget-container\">\n\t\t\t\t\t\t\t\t\t<p><span style=\"font-weight: 400;\">People with an anxious-ambivalent attachment style are not necessarily people who were rejected or neglected, but they rather had this feeling that the outside environment is insecure, that <\/span><b>they were not sure they could count on their attachment figures<\/b><span style=\"font-weight: 400;\">.<\/span><\/p><p><span style=\"font-weight: 400;\">It was not a constant bond, it could change from one minute to the next. And so, <\/span><b>giving this feeling of not having enough emotional nourishment, security coming from the outside<\/b><span style=\"font-weight: 400;\">. We must not forget that a child, when small, does not have this capacity for co-regulation. So, if this co-regulation, this security, is not provided, it automatically generates inner insecurity.&nbsp;<\/span><\/p><p><span style=\"font-weight: 400;\">Someone who experienced this in childhood, what will it do in adulthood?&nbsp;<\/span><\/p><p><span style=\"font-weight: 400;\">Often, they will be in <\/span><b>mistrust<\/b><span style=\"font-weight: 400;\">&nbsp;: I cannot count on the people who take care of me. The environment is worrying, can be a source of danger&nbsp;: it can also be in terms of behavior of people who will constantly seek the approval of others, who will look for signs of disconnection for fear of being abandoned. It will also be people who have this feeling of never having enough in terms of emotional nourishment, who need a lot of attention, affection because they lacked it in childhood. It will also be people who will have this feeling of being very dependent on the other, of needing the other or of having this <\/span><b>difficulty functioning without the other<\/b><span style=\"font-weight: 400;\">.And at the same time, these are people who will have a hard time moving toward intimacy, expressing what they feel toward the other.&nbsp;<\/span><\/p>\t\t\t\t\t\t\t\t<\/div>\n\t\t\t\t<\/div>\n\t\t\t\t<div class=\"elementor-element elementor-element-ca26664 elementor-widget elementor-widget-heading\" data-id=\"ca26664\" data-element_type=\"widget\" data-e-type=\"widget\" data-widget_type=\"heading.default\">\n\t\t\t\t<div class=\"elementor-widget-container\">\n\t\t\t\t\t<h2 class=\"elementor-heading-title elementor-size-default\"><span class=\"ez-toc-section\" id=\"The_avoidant_attachment_style\"><\/span>The avoidant attachment style<span class=\"ez-toc-section-end\"><\/span><\/h2>\t\t\t\t<\/div>\n\t\t\t\t<\/div>\n\t\t\t\t<div class=\"elementor-element elementor-element-c834fda elementor-widget elementor-widget-text-editor\" data-id=\"c834fda\" data-element_type=\"widget\" data-e-type=\"widget\" data-widget_type=\"text-editor.default\">\n\t\t\t\t<div class=\"elementor-widget-container\">\n\t\t\t\t\t\t\t\t\t<p><span style=\"font-weight: 400;\">It is often the next level up. It is when children&nbsp;understood that, in the end, their emotional needs were not really taken into account, that there was a certain <\/span><b>emotional neglect or when they really felt they were a bit too much in the family<\/b><span style=\"font-weight: 400;\">, that they were disturbing, either feeling poorly loved or feeling insignificant. It can happen in cases where, for example, the parents worked a lot, had no time or room to welcome a child, if the attachment figure, the father or the mother, was in their own personal problems such as depression, postpartum depression\u2026. In fact, the parent was there, but was not there for the child. It can also be when a parent was somewhat disconnected from their own sensations. So the child, in fact, <\/span><b>perceives that they cannot be in connection with others<\/b><span style=\"font-weight: 400;\">. They perceive that others do not feel what they feel. So the ultimate means of protection is to go into freeze, by cutting themselves off from others. The child is there because they cannot do otherwise, but <\/span><b>they ask for as little as possible<\/b><span style=\"font-weight: 400;\">. They minimize the number of interactions to disturb as little as possible.&nbsp;<\/span><\/p><p><span style=\"font-weight: 400;\">In adulthood, this can mean that we are afraid of relationships, that <\/span><b>we are afraid, as soon as we sense the other wants a stronger bond, it can make us want to move away<\/b><span style=\"font-weight: 400;\">. It can show up as a <\/span><b>difficulty expressing what we feel<\/b><span style=\"font-weight: 400;\">, understanding what we feel, understanding whether we are in love with others or not. It can make us enter into a relationship, but without wanting to enter into intimacy. So having this feeling of being a bit emotionally unavailable toward the person in front of us.&nbsp;<\/span><\/p>\t\t\t\t\t\t\t\t<\/div>\n\t\t\t\t<\/div>\n\t\t\t\t<div class=\"elementor-element elementor-element-f807d0c elementor-widget elementor-widget-heading\" data-id=\"f807d0c\" data-element_type=\"widget\" data-e-type=\"widget\" data-widget_type=\"heading.default\">\n\t\t\t\t<div class=\"elementor-widget-container\">\n\t\t\t\t\t<h2 class=\"elementor-heading-title elementor-size-default\"><span class=\"ez-toc-section\" id=\"Disorganized_attachment\"><\/span>Disorganized attachment<span class=\"ez-toc-section-end\"><\/span><\/h2>\t\t\t\t<\/div>\n\t\t\t\t<\/div>\n\t\t\t\t<div class=\"elementor-element elementor-element-5fc7737 elementor-widget elementor-widget-text-editor\" data-id=\"5fc7737\" data-element_type=\"widget\" data-e-type=\"widget\" data-widget_type=\"text-editor.default\">\n\t\t\t\t<div class=\"elementor-widget-container\">\n\t\t\t\t\t\t\t\t\t<p><span style=\"font-weight: 400;\">And finally, the last type of attachment that Bowlby describes as disorganized attachment, is somewhat a<\/span><b> combination of anxious-ambivalent attachment with avoidant attachment<\/b><span style=\"font-weight: 400;\">. So often, in fact, these are people who had a bit of a mix of both in their childhood. And what does that create? It creates enormous emotions, <\/span><b>enormous emotional waves<\/b><span style=\"font-weight: 400;\">, whether in the highs or in the lows. This is what I call <\/span><b>drama attachment<\/b><span style=\"font-weight: 400;\">, because it is really\u2026 The child no longer knows which way to turn. It is either everything or nothing.&nbsp;<\/span><\/p><p>&nbsp;<\/p><p><span style=\"font-weight: 400;\">Someone who had a disorganized attachment as a child, you often feel it, in fact, through these rather intense emotional waves, through these phases where they can behave really in a rage, full of anger and then, all of a sudden, avoid any relationship, any interaction and then retreat a little into their own world.&nbsp;<\/span><\/p><p><span style=\"font-weight: 400;\">And in adulthood, it is somewhat the same thing that repeats. People who have this disorganized attachment can be in a <\/span><b>power dynamic<\/b><span style=\"font-weight: 400;\">, power struggle with the other, go into battle, have this feeling that the relationship with others, necessarily, is difficult, is necessarily drama, is necessarily a power struggle and also have a lot of trouble entering into a relationship without exploding. So it will go through <\/span><b>phases of no control over emotions&nbsp;: <\/b><span style=\"font-weight: 400;\">it explodes, it overflows and phases of coldness where everything is blocked&nbsp;: nothing comes out, but that does not mean the emotions inside are not there.<\/span><\/p>\t\t\t\t\t\t\t\t<\/div>\n\t\t\t\t<\/div>\n\t\t\t\t<div class=\"elementor-element elementor-element-6bb3150 elementor-widget elementor-widget-heading\" data-id=\"6bb3150\" data-element_type=\"widget\" data-e-type=\"widget\" data-widget_type=\"heading.default\">\n\t\t\t\t<div class=\"elementor-widget-container\">\n\t\t\t\t\t<h2 class=\"elementor-heading-title elementor-size-default\"><span class=\"ez-toc-section\" id=\"Attachment_styles_are_a_reflection_of_your_autonomic_nervous_system\"><\/span>Attachment styles are a reflection of your autonomic nervous system<span class=\"ez-toc-section-end\"><\/span><\/h2>\t\t\t\t<\/div>\n\t\t\t\t<\/div>\n\t\t\t\t<div class=\"elementor-element elementor-element-fc398f4 elementor-widget elementor-widget-text-editor\" data-id=\"fc398f4\" data-element_type=\"widget\" data-e-type=\"widget\" data-widget_type=\"text-editor.default\">\n\t\t\t\t<div class=\"elementor-widget-container\">\n\t\t\t\t\t\t\t\t\t<span style=\"font-weight: 400;\">And finally the four types of attachment that Bowlby describes reflect exactly the default state of your autonomic nervous system. And that is not me saying it.\u00a0<\/span>\n\n<span style=\"font-weight: 400;\">Polyvagal theory explains that when we are children, we do not have this ventral vagal connection that brings us this feeling of safety among others. It is something that is not yet created, it is something that will happen through connection with our attachment figures, with the people who mostly took care of us. And this is what we call your \u201cprimal wire\u201d.\u00a0<\/span>\n\n<span style=\"font-weight: 400;\">You will basically inherit the default autonomic nervous system state of your parents and your interactions with them will influence your default state too\u00a0:<\/span>\n<ul>\n \t<li aria-level=\"1\"><span style=\"font-weight: 400;\">There is a <\/span><b>transgenerational aspect<\/b><span style=\"font-weight: 400;\">. You inherit their default autonomic nervous system state from your parents. It is passed on because at the start, the child did not have this ventral vagal connection by themselves, so they inherit that of their parents, who inherited that of their parents before them, etc. So this transgenerational aspect, you also find it in the default state of your autonomic nervous system.<\/span><\/li>\n \t<li aria-level=\"1\"><span style=\"font-weight: 400;\">There is an <\/span><b>experience aspect<\/b><span style=\"font-weight: 400;\">. The relational experiences you will have with your parent will also contribute to regulating or dysregulating your autonomic nervous system depending on whether your parent had the capacity to help you regulate (co-regulation) or not.<\/span><\/li>\n<\/ul>\n<span style=\"font-weight: 400;\">And so, what does that mean?\u00a0<\/span>\n\n<span style=\"font-weight: 400;\">If you were able to identify your dominant attachment style among the four I mentioned, it can already give you an idea of what your default state is\u00a0:\u00a0<\/span>\n<ul>\n \t<li aria-level=\"1\"><b>Secure attachment is when your default autonomic nervous system is ventral vagal<\/b><span style=\"font-weight: 400;\">. Physiologically, you feel it\u00a0: when you are in ventral vagal, you are often in this feeling of connection to others, you want to go toward the other, you have this feeling of being one with others, it is easy for you to enter into interaction with others. You feel safe interacting and being yourself with others.\u00a0<\/span><\/li>\n \t<li aria-level=\"1\"><span style=\"font-weight: 400;\">Someone who has <\/span><b>anxious ambivalent attachment has the sympathetic as their default autonomic nervous system.<\/b><span style=\"font-weight: 400;\"> When your default state is the sympathetic, it can lead to two actions\u00a0:<\/span>\n<ul style=\"font-weight: 400;\">\n \t<li style=\"font-weight: 400;\" aria-level=\"2\"><span style=\"font-weight: 400;\">Either you go into the mode of \u201cI flee people because I do not feel safe with people.\u201d<\/span><\/li>\n \t<li style=\"font-weight: 400;\" aria-level=\"2\"><span style=\"font-weight: 400;\">Or \u201cI go into battle\u00a0\u201d<\/span><\/li>\n<\/ul>\n<\/li>\n<\/ul>\n<span style=\"font-weight: 400;\">This sympathetic state reflects anxious\/ambivalent attachment, that is, you want to be with the other, but you are in mistrust. You do not know whether you can count on others. You are insecure with others. You have a bit of this contradiction in you, that is \u201cI want to be with others, I need others, but at the same time, it scares me, it makes me doubt and I feel insecure\u201d.\u00a0<\/span>\n<ul>\n \t<li aria-level=\"1\"><b>Avoidant attachment is the equivalent of dorsal vagal as the default autonomic nervous system<\/b><span style=\"font-weight: 400;\">, that is, this feeling of not being able to count on others, of being powerless in the face of the situation and so I cut myself off from others and from the world to survive. I stay a bit locked in my bubble.<\/span><\/li>\n \t<li aria-level=\"1\"><span style=\"font-weight: 400;\">Finally, <\/span><b>disorganized attachment would be a mix that would explain why sometimes you are more in a sympathetic state or in the step above at the dorsal vagal level<\/b><span style=\"font-weight: 400;\">, and that, in the end, you alternate between the two.\u00a0<\/span><\/li>\n<\/ul>\n\t\t\t\t\t\t\t\t<\/div>\n\t\t\t\t<\/div>\n\t\t\t\t<div class=\"elementor-element elementor-element-b45d94b elementor-widget elementor-widget-heading\" data-id=\"b45d94b\" data-element_type=\"widget\" data-e-type=\"widget\" data-widget_type=\"heading.default\">\n\t\t\t\t<div class=\"elementor-widget-container\">\n\t\t\t\t\t<h2 class=\"elementor-heading-title elementor-size-default\"><span class=\"ez-toc-section\" id=\"Why_I_do_not_identify_attachment_styles_in_my_approach\"><\/span>Why I do not identify attachment styles in my approach?<span class=\"ez-toc-section-end\"><\/span><\/h2>\t\t\t\t<\/div>\n\t\t\t\t<\/div>\n\t\t\t\t<div class=\"elementor-element elementor-element-331afe4 elementor-widget elementor-widget-text-editor\" data-id=\"331afe4\" data-element_type=\"widget\" data-e-type=\"widget\" data-widget_type=\"text-editor.default\">\n\t\t\t\t<div class=\"elementor-widget-container\">\n\t\t\t\t\t\t\t\t\t<p><span style=\"font-weight: 400;\">When people come into the program <\/span><a href=\"https:\/\/sandykaufmann.ch\/en\/opening-up-to-love\/\"><span style=\"font-weight: 400;\">Opening up to love<\/span><\/a><span style=\"font-weight: 400;\">, I do not classify love patterns by attachment type, precisely because <\/span><b>depending on what you experienced in your past, you can have, situationally, a rather avoidant attachment in certain situations, you can have an anxious-ambivalent attachment in others.<\/b><span style=\"font-weight: 400;\">&nbsp;<\/span><\/p><p><span style=\"font-weight: 400;\">What we do in the assessment part is that we seek to understand mainly which patterns repeat the most in your love life. And once we have identified the patterns that repeat the most in your love life, during the Day of the Past we will go back through your different past experiences that will shed light on your different survival mechanisms, protection mechanisms. What is interesting in this process is to see the evolution of your survival processes because they also evolve over time. For example, if as a child you asked for love and despite your requests you did not receive it, after a while you will tell yourself \u201cDo not even try anymore, it is useless. Stay alone, it is better than being in bad company or suffering from being in a relationship.\u201d and go into avoidance.&nbsp;<\/span><\/p>\n\t\t\t\t\t\t\t\t<\/div>\n\t\t\t\t<\/div>\n\t\t\t\t<div class=\"elementor-element elementor-element-67e7d0a elementor-widget elementor-widget-heading\" data-id=\"67e7d0a\" data-element_type=\"widget\" data-e-type=\"widget\" data-widget_type=\"heading.default\">\n\t\t\t\t<div class=\"elementor-widget-container\">\n\t\t\t\t\t<h2 class=\"elementor-heading-title elementor-size-default\"><span class=\"ez-toc-section\" id=\"The_origin_of_your_attachment_styles\"><\/span>The origin of your attachment styles<span class=\"ez-toc-section-end\"><\/span><\/h2>\t\t\t\t<\/div>\n\t\t\t\t<\/div>\n\t\t\t\t<div class=\"elementor-element elementor-element-0bc1fd5 elementor-widget elementor-widget-text-editor\" data-id=\"0bc1fd5\" data-element_type=\"widget\" data-e-type=\"widget\" data-widget_type=\"text-editor.default\">\n\t\t\t\t<div class=\"elementor-widget-container\">\n\t\t\t\t\t\t\t\t\t<p><span style=\"font-weight: 400;\">Now you tell yourself \u201cI have identified my main attachment style, I know that means I have such and such default state of the autonomic nervous system, how do we go about finding the origin of all this? What made me have this attachment style?&nbsp;\u201d&nbsp;<\/span><\/p><p><span style=\"font-weight: 400;\">I would like to remove the weight we give to parents regarding the fact that attachment styles are mainly transmitted by the people who took care of us, whether our parents, or our other attachment figures, our nanny, etc.&nbsp;:<\/span><\/p><ul><li style=\"font-weight: 400;\" aria-level=\"1\"><span style=\"font-weight: 400;\">Yes, attachment figures, the parents or those who took care of us have a great impact. I no longer remember where I read this figure so do not ask me for the source but I had read that basically, if 30 to 40% of the connections we felt with our parent were relatively secure, we developed a rather secure attachment. So that means parents do not have to be perfect and are allowed to make mistakes.<\/span><\/li><li style=\"font-weight: 400;\" aria-level=\"1\"><span style=\"font-weight: 400;\">What impacts our perception of attachment is how the child perceived it. So there are also many cases where the parents were there, where the parents took good care of the children, where they tried to do their best according to their abilities, but the child\u2019s perception was different. And these experiences also have an impact on what is recorded by default in the autonomic nervous system.&nbsp;<\/span><\/li><\/ul><p><span style=\"font-weight: 400;\">But there are not, at least in my view, ONLY the attachment figures or parents who influence our default autonomic nervous system. I wanted to name for you a somewhat summary list of what can impact the default state of your autonomic nervous system, I will refer you to other episodes of the podcast if you want to go deeper into one of the topics. If you need a general introduction on why your past experiences are recorded in the body you can listen to <\/span><span style=\"font-weight: 400;\"><a href=\"https:\/\/sandykaufmann.ch\/fr\/56-le-corps-n-oublie-rien-change-t-on-par-le-corps-ou-l-esprit\/\">episode 56 of the podcast on why the body forgets nothing<\/a>.<\/span><\/p><p><span style=\"font-weight: 400;\">This list is more to give you a hint about the other things that may have influenced your default autonomic nervous system&nbsp;:<\/span><\/p><ul><li aria-level=\"1\"><span style=\"font-weight: 400;\">In number 1, these are all the cases where <\/span><b>the environment became uncontrollable<\/b><span style=\"font-weight: 400;\"> and that had a negative consequence on the person. I talk about it in more detail in <\/span><a style=\"font-weight: 400;\" href=\"https:\/\/sandykaufmann.ch\/fr\/53-comment-se-liberer-du-besoin-de-tout-controler\/\"><span style=\"font-weight: 400;\">episode 53, How to free yourself from the need to control everything ?<\/span><\/a><span style=\"font-weight: 400;\"> If you had past experiences that made you feel that the environment is uncontrollable and unsafe, inevitably, this will have an impact on your default autonomic nervous system and make us see the other or the environment as a source of danger rather than a source of safety.&nbsp;<\/span><\/li><li aria-level=\"1\"><span style=\"font-weight: 400;\">What will also have a big impact on your default autonomic nervous system is <\/span><b>your birth and the whole in-utero period<\/b><span style=\"font-weight: 400;\">. I talk about it in more detail in <\/span><a style=\"font-weight: 400;\" href=\"https:\/\/sandykaufmann.ch\/fr\/37-limpact-de-ta-naissance-sur-ta-vie-amoureuse\/\"><span style=\"font-weight: 400;\">episode 37<\/span><\/a><span style=\"font-weight: 400;\">. Basically, birth is our first trauma, it is our first experience of separation from the other and of our first experience of our dependence on the other. Because when the child is born, they have a certain dependence on the outside environment. They need to receive care, to eat, etc. Depending on whether the birth was more or less medicalized, whether the birth had an impact on the child, whether the birth involved a separation from the mother or had an impact on the mother, it will greatly have an impact on the child\u2019s default autonomic nervous system.<\/span><\/li><li aria-level=\"1\"><span style=\"font-weight: 400;\">Also, <\/span><b>all experiences of death or sudden disappearance of loved ones<\/b><span style=\"font-weight: 400;\">. I talk a little more about <\/span><span style=\"font-weight: 400;\">the impact of death in your love life in <a href=\"https:\/\/sandykaufmann.ch\/fr\/38-limpact-de-ta-vision-de-la-mort-sur-ta-vie-amoureuse\/\">episode 38<\/a> of this podcast.<\/span><\/li><\/ul><p><span style=\"font-weight: 400;\">So there you go, I hope this episode has given you a good first summary of attachment styles, to also see that these attachment styles are not saved in your head but in your body and that also it is not only the parents who can affect your attachment style.&nbsp;<\/span><\/p><p><span style=\"font-weight: 400;\">See you next week when I will talk to you about <\/span><a href=\"https:\/\/sandykaufmann.ch\/fr\/90-renouer-avec-ton-energie-feminine\/\"><span style=\"font-weight: 400;\">how to reconnect with your feminine<\/span><\/a><span style=\"font-weight: 400;\"> and not necessarily the way you think.&nbsp;<\/span><\/p>\t\t\t\t\t\t\t\t<\/div>\n\t\t\t\t<\/div>\n\t\t\t\t\t<\/div>\n\t\t<\/div>\n\t\t\t\t\t<\/div>\n\t\t<\/section>\n\t\t\t\t<section class=\"elementor-section elementor-top-section elementor-element elementor-element-5e407bbf elementor-section-full_width elementor-section-height-default elementor-section-height-default\" data-id=\"5e407bbf\" data-element_type=\"section\" data-e-type=\"section\" data-settings=\"{&quot;background_background&quot;:&quot;classic&quot;}\">\n\t\t\t\t\t\t<div class=\"elementor-container elementor-column-gap-no\">\n\t\t\t\t\t<div class=\"elementor-column elementor-col-100 elementor-top-column elementor-element elementor-element-7bae442c\" data-id=\"7bae442c\" data-element_type=\"column\" data-e-type=\"column\">\n\t\t\t<div class=\"elementor-widget-wrap elementor-element-populated\">\n\t\t\t\t\t\t<section class=\"elementor-section elementor-inner-section elementor-element elementor-element-487d07cd elementor-section-content-bottom elementor-section-boxed elementor-section-height-default elementor-section-height-default\" data-id=\"487d07cd\" data-element_type=\"section\" data-e-type=\"section\" data-settings=\"{&quot;background_background&quot;:&quot;classic&quot;}\">\n\t\t\t\t\t\t<div class=\"elementor-container elementor-column-gap-default\">\n\t\t\t\t\t<div class=\"elementor-column elementor-col-100 elementor-inner-column elementor-element elementor-element-1ef55d95\" data-id=\"1ef55d95\" data-element_type=\"column\" data-e-type=\"column\">\n\t\t\t<div class=\"elementor-widget-wrap elementor-element-populated\">\n\t\t\t\t\t\t<div class=\"elementor-element elementor-element-32c871ab elementor-widget elementor-widget-spacer\" data-id=\"32c871ab\" data-element_type=\"widget\" data-e-type=\"widget\" data-widget_type=\"spacer.default\">\n\t\t\t\t<div class=\"elementor-widget-container\">\n\t\t\t\t\t\t\t<div class=\"elementor-spacer\">\n\t\t\t<div class=\"elementor-spacer-inner\"><\/div>\n\t\t<\/div>\n\t\t\t\t\t\t<\/div>\n\t\t\t\t<\/div>\n\t\t\t\t\t<\/div>\n\t\t<\/div>\n\t\t\t\t\t<\/div>\n\t\t<\/section>\n\t\t\t\t<section class=\"elementor-section elementor-inner-section elementor-element elementor-element-2427023a elementor-section-boxed elementor-section-height-default elementor-section-height-default\" data-id=\"2427023a\" data-element_type=\"section\" data-e-type=\"section\">\n\t\t\t\t\t\t<div class=\"elementor-container elementor-column-gap-default\">\n\t\t\t\t\t<div class=\"elementor-column elementor-col-50 elementor-inner-column elementor-element elementor-element-26ff699f\" data-id=\"26ff699f\" data-element_type=\"column\" data-e-type=\"column\" data-settings=\"{&quot;background_background&quot;:&quot;classic&quot;}\">\n\t\t\t<div class=\"elementor-widget-wrap elementor-element-populated\">\n\t\t\t\t\t\t<div class=\"elementor-element elementor-element-2eff4dec elementor-invisible elementor-widget elementor-widget-heading\" data-id=\"2eff4dec\" data-element_type=\"widget\" data-e-type=\"widget\" data-settings=\"{&quot;_animation&quot;:&quot;fadeInLeft&quot;}\" data-widget_type=\"heading.default\">\n\t\t\t\t<div class=\"elementor-widget-container\">\n\t\t\t\t\t<p class=\"elementor-heading-title elementor-size-large\">For you<\/p>\t\t\t\t<\/div>\n\t\t\t\t<\/div>\n\t\t\t\t<div class=\"elementor-element elementor-element-22720373 elementor-widget elementor-widget-heading\" data-id=\"22720373\" data-element_type=\"widget\" data-e-type=\"widget\" data-widget_type=\"heading.default\">\n\t\t\t\t<div class=\"elementor-widget-container\">\n\t\t\t\t\t<h2 class=\"elementor-heading-title elementor-size-large\"><span class=\"ez-toc-section\" id=\"FREE_Webinar_%22HOW_TO_FREE_OURSELVES_FROM_THE_PATTERNS_THAT_PREVENT_US_FROM_BEING_HAPPY_IN_LOVE%22\"><\/span><span>FREE Webinar \n\"HOW TO FREE OURSELVES FROM THE PATTERNS THAT PREVENT US FROM BEING HAPPY IN LOVE?\"<\/span><span class=\"ez-toc-section-end\"><\/span><\/h2>\t\t\t\t<\/div>\n\t\t\t\t<\/div>\n\t\t\t\t<div class=\"elementor-element elementor-element-6854c748 elementor-widget elementor-widget-text-editor\" data-id=\"6854c748\" data-element_type=\"widget\" data-e-type=\"widget\" data-widget_type=\"text-editor.default\">\n\t\t\t\t<div class=\"elementor-widget-container\">\n\t\t\t\t\t\t\t\t\tSubscribe now to my newsletter and receive the replay of the webinar how a wound from the past is created ?\u00a0\t\t\t\t\t\t\t\t<\/div>\n\t\t\t\t<\/div>\n\t\t\t\t\t<\/div>\n\t\t<\/div>\n\t\t\t\t<div class=\"elementor-column elementor-col-50 elementor-inner-column elementor-element elementor-element-71cf748e\" data-id=\"71cf748e\" data-element_type=\"column\" data-e-type=\"column\">\n\t\t\t<div class=\"elementor-widget-wrap\">\n\t\t\t\t\t\t\t<\/div>\n\t\t<\/div>\n\t\t\t\t\t<\/div>\n\t\t<\/section>\n\t\t\t\t\t<\/div>\n\t\t<\/div>\n\t\t\t\t\t<\/div>\n\t\t<\/section>\n\t\t\t\t<section class=\"elementor-section elementor-top-section elementor-element elementor-element-6dab426b elementor-section-boxed elementor-section-height-default elementor-section-height-default\" data-id=\"6dab426b\" data-element_type=\"section\" data-e-type=\"section\">\n\t\t\t\t\t\t<div class=\"elementor-container elementor-column-gap-default\">\n\t\t\t\t\t<div class=\"elementor-column elementor-col-100 elementor-top-column elementor-element elementor-element-5439f1ae\" data-id=\"5439f1ae\" data-element_type=\"column\" data-e-type=\"column\">\n\t\t\t<div class=\"elementor-widget-wrap elementor-element-populated\">\n\t\t\t\t\t\t<div class=\"elementor-element elementor-element-53a551b4 elementor-widget elementor-widget-shortcode\" data-id=\"53a551b4\" data-element_type=\"widget\" data-e-type=\"widget\" data-widget_type=\"shortcode.default\">\n\t\t\t\t<div class=\"elementor-widget-container\">\n\t\t\t\t\t\t\t<div class=\"elementor-shortcode\"><script src=https:\/\/sandy-kaufmann.mykajabi.com\/forms\/2149274867\/embed.js><\/script><\/div>\n\t\t\t\t\t\t<\/div>\n\t\t\t\t<\/div>\n\t\t\t\t<div class=\"elementor-element elementor-element-77dce835 elementor-widget elementor-widget-text-editor\" data-id=\"77dce835\" data-element_type=\"widget\" data-e-type=\"widget\" data-widget_type=\"text-editor.default\">\n\t\t\t\t<div class=\"elementor-widget-container\">\n\t\t\t\t\t\t\t\t\t<p>* Mandatory fields<\/p><p>If you register for this webinar, you will be subscribed to my newsletter and you will be able to receive offers from me. You can unsubscribe at any time. Please read my<br \/><a href=\"https:\/\/sandykaufmann.ch\/datenschutzbestimmungen\/\">privacy policy (german only)<\/a>, to see how I process the data.<\/p>\t\t\t\t\t\t\t\t<\/div>\n\t\t\t\t<\/div>\n\t\t\t\t\t<\/div>\n\t\t<\/div>\n\t\t\t\t\t<\/div>\n\t\t<\/section>\n\t\t\t\t<section class=\"elementor-section elementor-top-section elementor-element elementor-element-f1d3756 elementor-section-boxed elementor-section-height-default elementor-section-height-default\" data-id=\"f1d3756\" data-element_type=\"section\" data-e-type=\"section\">\n\t\t\t\t\t\t<div class=\"elementor-container elementor-column-gap-default\">\n\t\t\t\t\t<div class=\"elementor-column elementor-col-100 elementor-top-column elementor-element elementor-element-124aa0da\" data-id=\"124aa0da\" data-element_type=\"column\" data-e-type=\"column\">\n\t\t\t<div class=\"elementor-widget-wrap elementor-element-populated\">\n\t\t\t\t\t\t<div class=\"elementor-element elementor-element-74dfd461 elementor-widget elementor-widget-heading\" data-id=\"74dfd461\" data-element_type=\"widget\" data-e-type=\"widget\" data-widget_type=\"heading.default\">\n\t\t\t\t<div class=\"elementor-widget-container\">\n\t\t\t\t\t<h2 class=\"elementor-heading-title elementor-size-default\"><span class=\"ez-toc-section\" id=\"Going_further\"><\/span>Going further<span class=\"ez-toc-section-end\"><\/span><\/h2>\t\t\t\t<\/div>\n\t\t\t\t<\/div>\n\t\t\t\t<div class=\"elementor-element elementor-element-7210015e elementor-widget elementor-widget-text-editor\" data-id=\"7210015e\" data-element_type=\"widget\" data-e-type=\"widget\" data-widget_type=\"text-editor.default\">\n\t\t\t\t<div class=\"elementor-widget-container\">\n\t\t\t\t\t\t\t\t\t<p><span style=\"font-weight: 400;\">If you want to explore the topic further and identify your own love patterns, you have <a href=\"https:\/\/sandykaufmann.ch\/fr\/livre-souvrir-a-lamour-et-si-la-solution-se-trouvait-du-cote-du-nerf-vague\/\">my book <\/a><\/span><a href=\"https:\/\/sandykaufmann.ch\/fr\/livre-souvrir-a-lamour-et-si-la-solution-se-trouvait-du-cote-du-nerf-vague\/\"><span style=\"font-weight: 400;\">S\u2019ouvrir \u00e0 l\u2019amour<\/span><\/a><span style=\"font-weight: 400;\"> available in all bookstores.<\/span><\/p>\n<span style=\"font-weight: 400;\">And if you want to work on your love patterns through the body and transform your love life, you have the program <\/span><a href=\"https:\/\/sandykaufmann.ch\/en\/opening-up-to-love\/\"><span style=\"font-weight: 400;\">Opening up to love.<\/span><\/a> You can take the Day of the Past option, a day of <strong>Somatic Deprogramming<\/strong>: a psycho-corporal practice to deprogram the automatic patterns of the nervous system and reprogram new relational reflexes.\n\t\t\t\t\t\t\t\t<\/div>\n\t\t\t\t<\/div>\n\t\t\t\t<div class=\"elementor-element elementor-element-1c32524 elementor-align-center elementor-mobile-align-center elementor-widget elementor-widget-button\" data-id=\"1c32524\" data-element_type=\"widget\" data-e-type=\"widget\" data-widget_type=\"button.default\">\n\t\t\t\t<div class=\"elementor-widget-container\">\n\t\t\t\t\t\t\t\t\t<div class=\"elementor-button-wrapper\">\n\t\t\t\t\t<a class=\"elementor-button elementor-button-link elementor-size-md\" href=\"https:\/\/sandykaufmann.ch\/en\/opening-up-to-love\/\">\n\t\t\t\t\t\t<span class=\"elementor-button-content-wrapper\">\n\t\t\t\t\t\t\t\t\t<span class=\"elementor-button-text\">OPENING UP TO LOVE<\/span>\n\t\t\t\t\t<\/span>\n\t\t\t\t\t<\/a>\n\t\t\t\t<\/div>\n\t\t\t\t\t\t\t\t<\/div>\n\t\t\t\t<\/div>\n\t\t\t\t\t<\/div>\n\t\t<\/div>\n\t\t\t\t\t<\/div>\n\t\t<\/section>\n\t\t\t\t<section class=\"elementor-section elementor-top-section elementor-element elementor-element-1efee2fa elementor-section-boxed elementor-section-height-default elementor-section-height-default\" data-id=\"1efee2fa\" data-element_type=\"section\" data-e-type=\"section\">\n\t\t\t\t\t\t<div class=\"elementor-container elementor-column-gap-default\">\n\t\t\t\t\t<div class=\"elementor-column elementor-col-100 elementor-top-column elementor-element elementor-element-11565105\" data-id=\"11565105\" data-element_type=\"column\" data-e-type=\"column\">\n\t\t\t<div class=\"elementor-widget-wrap elementor-element-populated\">\n\t\t\t\t\t\t<div class=\"elementor-element elementor-element-4fb9dba1 elementor-widget elementor-widget-text-editor\" data-id=\"4fb9dba1\" data-element_type=\"widget\" data-e-type=\"widget\" data-widget_type=\"text-editor.default\">\n\t\t\t\t<div class=\"elementor-widget-container\">\n\t\t\t\t\t\t\t\t\t<p>\n<div id=\"sb_instagram\"  class=\"sbi sbi_mob_col_1 sbi_tab_col_2 sbi_col_6\" style=\"padding-bottom: 10px; background-color: rgb(255,255,255); width: 100%;\"\t data-feedid=\"sbi_17841411036917986#6\"  data-res=\"thumb\" data-cols=\"6\" data-colsmobile=\"1\" data-colstablet=\"2\" data-num=\"6\" data-nummobile=\"\" data-item-padding=\"5\"\t data-shortcode-atts=\"{}\"  data-postid=\"1239361\" data-locatornonce=\"8928ffecd8\" data-imageaspectratio=\"1:1\" data-sbi-flags=\"favorLocal,ajaxPostLoad,gdpr\">\n\t\n\t<div id=\"sbi_images\"  style=\"gap: 10px;\">\n\t\t\t<\/div>\n\n\t<div id=\"sbi_load\" >\n\n\t\n\t\n<\/div>\n\t\t<span class=\"sbi_resized_image_data\" data-feed-id=\"sbi_17841411036917986#6\"\n\t\t  data-resized=\"{&quot;17996652423041715&quot;:{&quot;id&quot;:&quot;842055907_1756654185452408_3577338743716706476_n&quot;,&quot;ratio&quot;:&quot;0.56&quot;,&quot;sizes&quot;:{&quot;full&quot;:640,&quot;low&quot;:320,&quot;thumb&quot;:150},&quot;extension&quot;:&quot;.jpg&quot;},&quot;18119242282766517&quot;:{&quot;id&quot;:&quot;844301984_908705618845744_6094411527707866428_n&quot;,&quot;ratio&quot;:&quot;0.56&quot;,&quot;sizes&quot;:{&quot;full&quot;:640,&quot;low&quot;:320,&quot;thumb&quot;:150},&quot;extension&quot;:&quot;.jpg&quot;},&quot;18119589808986397&quot;:{&quot;id&quot;:&quot;850521212_2281769375952365_8441432514868573758_n&quot;,&quot;ratio&quot;:&quot;0.56&quot;,&quot;sizes&quot;:{&quot;full&quot;:640,&quot;low&quot;:320,&quot;thumb&quot;:150},&quot;extension&quot;:&quot;.jpg&quot;},&quot;18132030832761438&quot;:{&quot;id&quot;:&quot;856681121_18209148886367898_2042971822664652273_n&quot;,&quot;ratio&quot;:&quot;0.78&quot;,&quot;sizes&quot;:{&quot;full&quot;:640,&quot;low&quot;:320,&quot;thumb&quot;:150},&quot;extension&quot;:&quot;.jpg&quot;},&quot;18118016777519826&quot;:{&quot;id&quot;:&quot;855211488_18209257804367898_2707775799257534615_n&quot;,&quot;ratio&quot;:&quot;0.56&quot;,&quot;sizes&quot;:{&quot;full&quot;:640,&quot;low&quot;:320,&quot;thumb&quot;:150},&quot;extension&quot;:&quot;.jpg&quot;},&quot;17962968867246866&quot;:{&quot;id&quot;:&quot;862863024_18209407003367898_568550170244515627_n&quot;,&quot;ratio&quot;:&quot;0.80&quot;,&quot;sizes&quot;:{&quot;full&quot;:640,&quot;low&quot;:320,&quot;thumb&quot;:150},&quot;extension&quot;:&quot;.jpg&quot;}}\">\n\t<\/span>\n\t<\/div>\n\n<\/p>\n\t\t\t\t\t\t\t\t<\/div>\n\t\t\t\t<\/div>\n\t\t\t\t\t<\/div>\n\t\t<\/div>\n\t\t\t\t\t<\/div>\n\t\t<\/section>\n\t\t\t\t<section class=\"elementor-section elementor-top-section elementor-element elementor-element-5c145cf4 elementor-section-full_width elementor-section-height-default elementor-section-height-default\" data-id=\"5c145cf4\" data-element_type=\"section\" data-e-type=\"section\" data-settings=\"{&quot;background_background&quot;:&quot;classic&quot;}\">\n\t\t\t\t\t\t<div class=\"elementor-container elementor-column-gap-no\">\n\t\t\t\t\t<div class=\"elementor-column elementor-col-100 elementor-top-column elementor-element elementor-element-23ece124\" data-id=\"23ece124\" data-element_type=\"column\" data-e-type=\"column\">\n\t\t\t<div class=\"elementor-widget-wrap elementor-element-populated\">\n\t\t\t\t\t\t<section class=\"elementor-section elementor-inner-section elementor-element elementor-element-11834291 elementor-section-content-bottom elementor-section-boxed elementor-section-height-default elementor-section-height-default\" data-id=\"11834291\" data-element_type=\"section\" data-e-type=\"section\" data-settings=\"{&quot;background_background&quot;:&quot;classic&quot;}\">\n\t\t\t\t\t\t<div class=\"elementor-container elementor-column-gap-default\">\n\t\t\t\t\t<div class=\"elementor-column elementor-col-100 elementor-inner-column elementor-element elementor-element-7d02a36e\" data-id=\"7d02a36e\" data-element_type=\"column\" data-e-type=\"column\">\n\t\t\t<div class=\"elementor-widget-wrap elementor-element-populated\">\n\t\t\t\t\t\t<div class=\"elementor-element elementor-element-3f6e934b elementor-widget elementor-widget-spacer\" data-id=\"3f6e934b\" data-element_type=\"widget\" data-e-type=\"widget\" data-widget_type=\"spacer.default\">\n\t\t\t\t<div class=\"elementor-widget-container\">\n\t\t\t\t\t\t\t<div class=\"elementor-spacer\">\n\t\t\t<div class=\"elementor-spacer-inner\"><\/div>\n\t\t<\/div>\n\t\t\t\t\t\t<\/div>\n\t\t\t\t<\/div>\n\t\t\t\t\t<\/div>\n\t\t<\/div>\n\t\t\t\t\t<\/div>\n\t\t<\/section>\n\t\t\t\t<section class=\"elementor-section elementor-inner-section elementor-element elementor-element-7c0e9802 elementor-section-boxed elementor-section-height-default elementor-section-height-default\" data-id=\"7c0e9802\" data-element_type=\"section\" data-e-type=\"section\">\n\t\t\t\t\t\t<div class=\"elementor-container elementor-column-gap-default\">\n\t\t\t\t\t<div class=\"elementor-column elementor-col-50 elementor-inner-column elementor-element elementor-element-459c5692\" data-id=\"459c5692\" data-element_type=\"column\" data-e-type=\"column\" data-settings=\"{&quot;background_background&quot;:&quot;classic&quot;}\">\n\t\t\t<div class=\"elementor-widget-wrap elementor-element-populated\">\n\t\t\t\t\t\t<div class=\"elementor-element elementor-element-4834dee7 elementor-invisible elementor-widget elementor-widget-heading\" data-id=\"4834dee7\" data-element_type=\"widget\" data-e-type=\"widget\" data-settings=\"{&quot;_animation&quot;:&quot;fadeInLeft&quot;}\" data-widget_type=\"heading.default\">\n\t\t\t\t<div class=\"elementor-widget-container\">\n\t\t\t\t\t<p class=\"elementor-heading-title elementor-size-large\">Sandy Kaufmann\n<\/p>\t\t\t\t<\/div>\n\t\t\t\t<\/div>\n\t\t\t\t<div class=\"elementor-element elementor-element-2b738b78 elementor-widget elementor-widget-text-editor\" data-id=\"2b738b78\" data-element_type=\"widget\" data-e-type=\"widget\" data-widget_type=\"text-editor.default\">\n\t\t\t\t<div class=\"elementor-widget-container\">\n\t\t\t\t\t\t\t\t\t<span style=\"color: #000000; font-size: large;\"><span style=\"caret-color: #000000;\">is a somatic therapist and coach, based in Switzerland. She is the author of two books published by \u00c9ditions Eyrolles and has accompanied more than 600 people. She is the creator of the Somatic Deprogramming method and hosts the podcast &#8220;<a href=\"https:\/\/sandykaufmann.ch\/en\/blog\/\">S&#8217;ouvrir \u00e0 l&#8217;amour<\/a>&#8220;, ranked in the French top 50 in the relationships category.<\/span><\/span>\t\t\t\t\t\t\t\t<\/div>\n\t\t\t\t<\/div>\n\t\t\t\t\t<\/div>\n\t\t<\/div>\n\t\t\t\t<div class=\"elementor-column elementor-col-50 elementor-inner-column elementor-element elementor-element-45859384\" data-id=\"45859384\" data-element_type=\"column\" data-e-type=\"column\">\n\t\t\t<div class=\"elementor-widget-wrap\">\n\t\t\t\t\t\t\t<\/div>\n\t\t<\/div>\n\t\t\t\t\t<\/div>\n\t\t<\/section>\n\t\t\t\t\t<\/div>\n\t\t<\/div>\n\t\t\t\t\t<\/div>\n\t\t<\/section>\n\t\t\t\t<section class=\"elementor-section elementor-top-section elementor-element elementor-element-2b0c4aa2 elementor-section-full_width elementor-section-height-min-height elementor-section-items-stretch elementor-section-content-middle elementor-section-height-default\" data-id=\"2b0c4aa2\" data-element_type=\"section\" data-e-type=\"section\">\n\t\t\t\t\t\t<div class=\"elementor-container elementor-column-gap-default\">\n\t\t\t\t\t<div class=\"elementor-column elementor-col-50 elementor-top-column elementor-element elementor-element-4777e6d3\" data-id=\"4777e6d3\" data-element_type=\"column\" data-e-type=\"column\" data-settings=\"{&quot;background_background&quot;:&quot;classic&quot;}\">\n\t\t\t<div class=\"elementor-widget-wrap elementor-element-populated\">\n\t\t\t\t\t\t<section class=\"elementor-section elementor-inner-section elementor-element elementor-element-5bccdb0c elementor-section-height-default elementor-section-boxed elementor-section-height-default\" data-id=\"5bccdb0c\" data-element_type=\"section\" data-e-type=\"section\">\n\t\t\t\t\t\t<div class=\"elementor-container elementor-column-gap-default\">\n\t\t\t\t\t<div class=\"elementor-column elementor-col-20 elementor-inner-column elementor-element elementor-element-102cf14 elementor-sm-33\" data-id=\"102cf14\" data-element_type=\"column\" data-e-type=\"column\">\n\t\t\t<div class=\"elementor-widget-wrap elementor-element-populated\">\n\t\t\t\t\t\t<div class=\"elementor-element elementor-element-1cc36f72 elementor-view-default elementor-widget elementor-widget-icon\" data-id=\"1cc36f72\" data-element_type=\"widget\" data-e-type=\"widget\" data-widget_type=\"icon.default\">\n\t\t\t\t<div class=\"elementor-widget-container\">\n\t\t\t\t\t\t\t<div class=\"elementor-icon-wrapper\">\n\t\t\t<a class=\"elementor-icon\" href=\"https:\/\/www.facebook.com\/sandykaufmanncoaching\/\" target=\"_blank\" rel=\"noopener\">\n\t\t\t<i aria-hidden=\"true\" class=\"fab fa-facebook-f\"><\/i>\t\t\t<\/a>\n\t\t<\/div>\n\t\t\t\t\t\t<\/div>\n\t\t\t\t<\/div>\n\t\t\t\t<div class=\"elementor-element elementor-element-377566b6 elementor-widget elementor-widget-heading\" data-id=\"377566b6\" data-element_type=\"widget\" data-e-type=\"widget\" data-widget_type=\"heading.default\">\n\t\t\t\t<div class=\"elementor-widget-container\">\n\t\t\t\t\t<p class=\"elementor-heading-title elementor-size-large\"><a href=\"https:\/\/www.facebook.com\/sandykaufmanncoaching\/\" target=\"_blank\" rel=\"noopener\">Facebook<\/a><\/p>\t\t\t\t<\/div>\n\t\t\t\t<\/div>\n\t\t\t\t\t<\/div>\n\t\t<\/div>\n\t\t\t\t<div class=\"elementor-column elementor-col-20 elementor-inner-column elementor-element elementor-element-73f1e100 elementor-sm-33\" data-id=\"73f1e100\" data-element_type=\"column\" data-e-type=\"column\">\n\t\t\t<div class=\"elementor-widget-wrap elementor-element-populated\">\n\t\t\t\t\t\t<div class=\"elementor-element elementor-element-7152f8aa elementor-view-default elementor-widget elementor-widget-icon\" data-id=\"7152f8aa\" data-element_type=\"widget\" data-e-type=\"widget\" data-widget_type=\"icon.default\">\n\t\t\t\t<div class=\"elementor-widget-container\">\n\t\t\t\t\t\t\t<div class=\"elementor-icon-wrapper\">\n\t\t\t<a class=\"elementor-icon\" href=\"https:\/\/www.instagram.com\/sandykaufmann_lovecoach\/\" target=\"_blank\" rel=\"noopener\">\n\t\t\t<i aria-hidden=\"true\" class=\"fab fa-instagram\"><\/i>\t\t\t<\/a>\n\t\t<\/div>\n\t\t\t\t\t\t<\/div>\n\t\t\t\t<\/div>\n\t\t\t\t<div class=\"elementor-element elementor-element-2bf3ec34 elementor-widget elementor-widget-heading\" data-id=\"2bf3ec34\" data-element_type=\"widget\" data-e-type=\"widget\" data-widget_type=\"heading.default\">\n\t\t\t\t<div class=\"elementor-widget-container\">\n\t\t\t\t\t<p class=\"elementor-heading-title elementor-size-large\"><a href=\"https:\/\/www.instagram.com\/sandykaufmann_lovecoach\/\" target=\"_blank\" rel=\"noopener\">Instagram<\/a><\/p>\t\t\t\t<\/div>\n\t\t\t\t<\/div>\n\t\t\t\t\t<\/div>\n\t\t<\/div>\n\t\t\t\t<div class=\"elementor-column elementor-col-20 elementor-inner-column elementor-element elementor-element-76071aa1 elementor-sm-33\" data-id=\"76071aa1\" data-element_type=\"column\" data-e-type=\"column\">\n\t\t\t<div class=\"elementor-widget-wrap elementor-element-populated\">\n\t\t\t\t\t\t<div class=\"elementor-element elementor-element-666d090c elementor-view-default elementor-widget elementor-widget-icon\" data-id=\"666d090c\" data-element_type=\"widget\" data-e-type=\"widget\" data-widget_type=\"icon.default\">\n\t\t\t\t<div class=\"elementor-widget-container\">\n\t\t\t\t\t\t\t<div class=\"elementor-icon-wrapper\">\n\t\t\t<a class=\"elementor-icon\" href=\"https:\/\/www.youtube.com\/channel\/UCK-hi3HapAMgqRQ268Ode-A?\" target=\"_blank\" rel=\"noopener\">\n\t\t\t<i aria-hidden=\"true\" class=\"fab fa-youtube\"><\/i>\t\t\t<\/a>\n\t\t<\/div>\n\t\t\t\t\t\t<\/div>\n\t\t\t\t<\/div>\n\t\t\t\t<div class=\"elementor-element elementor-element-50f9829 elementor-widget elementor-widget-heading\" data-id=\"50f9829\" data-element_type=\"widget\" data-e-type=\"widget\" data-widget_type=\"heading.default\">\n\t\t\t\t<div class=\"elementor-widget-container\">\n\t\t\t\t\t<p class=\"elementor-heading-title elementor-size-large\"><a href=\"https:\/\/www.youtube.com\/channel\/UCK-hi3HapAMgqRQ268Ode-A?\" target=\"_blank\" rel=\"noopener\">Youtube<\/a><\/p>\t\t\t\t<\/div>\n\t\t\t\t<\/div>\n\t\t\t\t\t<\/div>\n\t\t<\/div>\n\t\t\t\t<div class=\"elementor-column elementor-col-20 elementor-inner-column elementor-element elementor-element-de702d1 elementor-sm-33\" data-id=\"de702d1\" data-element_type=\"column\" data-e-type=\"column\">\n\t\t\t<div class=\"elementor-widget-wrap elementor-element-populated\">\n\t\t\t\t\t\t<div class=\"elementor-element elementor-element-7e03408 elementor-view-default elementor-widget elementor-widget-icon\" data-id=\"7e03408\" data-element_type=\"widget\" data-e-type=\"widget\" data-widget_type=\"icon.default\">\n\t\t\t\t<div class=\"elementor-widget-container\">\n\t\t\t\t\t\t\t<div class=\"elementor-icon-wrapper\">\n\t\t\t<a class=\"elementor-icon\" href=\"http:\/\/podcasts.apple.com\/fr\/podcast\/souvrir-%C3%A0-lamour\/id1594692189?l=en\" target=\"_blank\" rel=\"noopener\">\n\t\t\t<i aria-hidden=\"true\" class=\"fas fa-podcast\"><\/i>\t\t\t<\/a>\n\t\t<\/div>\n\t\t\t\t\t\t<\/div>\n\t\t\t\t<\/div>\n\t\t\t\t<div class=\"elementor-element elementor-element-b0ef062 elementor-widget elementor-widget-heading\" data-id=\"b0ef062\" data-element_type=\"widget\" data-e-type=\"widget\" data-widget_type=\"heading.default\">\n\t\t\t\t<div class=\"elementor-widget-container\">\n\t\t\t\t\t<p class=\"elementor-heading-title elementor-size-large\"><a href=\"http:\/\/podcasts.apple.com\/fr\/podcast\/souvrir-%C3%A0-lamour\/id1594692189?l=en\" target=\"_blank\" rel=\"noopener\">Apple<\/a><\/p>\t\t\t\t<\/div>\n\t\t\t\t<\/div>\n\t\t\t\t\t<\/div>\n\t\t<\/div>\n\t\t\t\t<div class=\"elementor-column elementor-col-20 elementor-inner-column elementor-element elementor-element-4b90d6c elementor-sm-33\" data-id=\"4b90d6c\" data-element_type=\"column\" data-e-type=\"column\">\n\t\t\t<div class=\"elementor-widget-wrap elementor-element-populated\">\n\t\t\t\t\t\t<div class=\"elementor-element elementor-element-3675119 elementor-view-default elementor-widget elementor-widget-icon\" data-id=\"3675119\" data-element_type=\"widget\" data-e-type=\"widget\" data-widget_type=\"icon.default\">\n\t\t\t\t<div class=\"elementor-widget-container\">\n\t\t\t\t\t\t\t<div class=\"elementor-icon-wrapper\">\n\t\t\t<a class=\"elementor-icon\" href=\"\">\n\t\t\t<i aria-hidden=\"true\" class=\"fab fa-spotify\"><\/i>\t\t\t<\/a>\n\t\t<\/div>\n\t\t\t\t\t\t<\/div>\n\t\t\t\t<\/div>\n\t\t\t\t<div class=\"elementor-element elementor-element-681ea62 elementor-widget elementor-widget-heading\" data-id=\"681ea62\" data-element_type=\"widget\" data-e-type=\"widget\" data-widget_type=\"heading.default\">\n\t\t\t\t<div class=\"elementor-widget-container\">\n\t\t\t\t\t<p class=\"elementor-heading-title elementor-size-large\"><a href=\"https:\/\/www.youtube.com\/channel\/UCK-hi3HapAMgqRQ268Ode-A?ahttp:\/\/open.spotify.com\/show\/5Wz6EFR37F8Yqmzhmy0RMP\" target=\"_blank\" rel=\"noopener\">Spotify<\/a><\/p>\t\t\t\t<\/div>\n\t\t\t\t<\/div>\n\t\t\t\t\t<\/div>\n\t\t<\/div>\n\t\t\t\t\t<\/div>\n\t\t<\/section>\n\t\t\t\t\t<\/div>\n\t\t<\/div>\n\t\t\t\t<div class=\"elementor-column elementor-col-50 elementor-top-column elementor-element elementor-element-4962630b\" data-id=\"4962630b\" data-element_type=\"column\" data-e-type=\"column\" data-settings=\"{&quot;background_background&quot;:&quot;classic&quot;}\">\n\t\t\t<div class=\"elementor-widget-wrap elementor-element-populated\">\n\t\t\t\t\t\t<div class=\"elementor-element elementor-element-409b0965 elementor-icon-list--layout-traditional elementor-list-item-link-full_width elementor-widget elementor-widget-icon-list\" data-id=\"409b0965\" data-element_type=\"widget\" data-e-type=\"widget\" data-widget_type=\"icon-list.default\">\n\t\t\t\t<div class=\"elementor-widget-container\">\n\t\t\t\t\t\t\t<ul class=\"elementor-icon-list-items\">\n\t\t\t\t\t\t\t<li class=\"elementor-icon-list-item\">\n\t\t\t\t\t\t\t\t\t\t\t<a href=\"mailto:info@sandykaufmann.ch\">\n\n\t\t\t\t\t\t\t\t\t\t\t\t<span class=\"elementor-icon-list-icon\">\n\t\t\t\t\t\t\t<i aria-hidden=\"true\" class=\"far fa-envelope\"><\/i>\t\t\t\t\t\t<\/span>\n\t\t\t\t\t\t\t\t\t\t<span class=\"elementor-icon-list-text\">info@sandykaufmann.ch<\/span>\n\t\t\t\t\t\t\t\t\t\t\t<\/a>\n\t\t\t\t\t\t\t\t\t<\/li>\n\t\t\t\t\t\t<\/ul>\n\t\t\t\t\t\t<\/div>\n\t\t\t\t<\/div>\n\t\t\t\t\t<\/div>\n\t\t<\/div>\n\t\t\t\t\t<\/div>\n\t\t<\/section>\n\t\t\t\t<\/div>\n\t\t<div id=\"ez-toc-container\" class=\"ez-toc-v2_0_84 counter-hierarchy ez-toc-counter ez-toc-grey ez-toc-container-direction\">\n<p class=\"ez-toc-title\" style=\"cursor:inherit\">Table des mati\u00e8res<\/p>\n<label for=\"ez-toc-cssicon-toggle-item-6adadf4ef301c\" class=\"ez-toc-cssicon-toggle-label\"><span class=\"\"><span class=\"eztoc-hide\" style=\"display:none;\">Toggle<\/span><span class=\"ez-toc-icon-toggle-span\"><svg style=\"fill: #999;color:#999\" xmlns=\"http:\/\/www.w3.org\/2000\/svg\" class=\"list-377408\" width=\"20px\" height=\"20px\" viewBox=\"0 0 24 24\" fill=\"none\"><path d=\"M6 6H4v2h2V6zm14 0H8v2h12V6zM4 11h2v2H4v-2zm16 0H8v2h12v-2zM4 16h2v2H4v-2zm16 0H8v2h12v-2z\" fill=\"currentColor\"><\/path><\/svg><svg style=\"fill: #999;color:#999\" class=\"arrow-unsorted-368013\" xmlns=\"http:\/\/www.w3.org\/2000\/svg\" width=\"10px\" height=\"10px\" viewBox=\"0 0 24 24\" version=\"1.2\" baseProfile=\"tiny\"><path d=\"M18.2 9.3l-6.2-6.3-6.2 6.3c-.2.2-.3.4-.3.7s.1.5.3.7c.2.2.4.3.7.3h11c.3 0 .5-.1.7-.3.2-.2.3-.5.3-.7s-.1-.5-.3-.7zM5.8 14.7l6.2 6.3 6.2-6.3c.2-.2.3-.5.3-.7s-.1-.5-.3-.7c-.2-.2-.4-.3-.7-.3h-11c-.3 0-.5.1-.7.3-.2.2-.3.5-.3.7s.1.5.3.7z\"\/><\/svg><\/span><\/span><\/label><input type=\"checkbox\"  id=\"ez-toc-cssicon-toggle-item-6adadf4ef301c\" checked aria-label=\"Toggle\" \/><nav><ul class='ez-toc-list ez-toc-list-level-1 ' ><li class='ez-toc-page-1 ez-toc-heading-level-2'><a class=\"ez-toc-link ez-toc-heading-1\" href=\"https:\/\/sandykaufmann.ch\/en\/89-attachment-styles-and-the-nervous-system\/#Attachment_styles_and_the_nervous_system\" >Attachment styles and the nervous system<\/a><\/li><li class='ez-toc-page-1 ez-toc-heading-level-2'><a class=\"ez-toc-link ez-toc-heading-2\" href=\"https:\/\/sandykaufmann.ch\/en\/89-attachment-styles-and-the-nervous-system\/#Attachment_theory\" >Attachment theory<\/a><\/li><li class='ez-toc-page-1 ez-toc-heading-level-2'><a class=\"ez-toc-link ez-toc-heading-3\" href=\"https:\/\/sandykaufmann.ch\/en\/89-attachment-styles-and-the-nervous-system\/#The_secure_attachment_style\" >The secure attachment style<\/a><\/li><li class='ez-toc-page-1 ez-toc-heading-level-2'><a class=\"ez-toc-link ez-toc-heading-4\" href=\"https:\/\/sandykaufmann.ch\/en\/89-attachment-styles-and-the-nervous-system\/#The_anxious-ambivalent_attachment_style\" >The anxious-ambivalent attachment style<\/a><\/li><li class='ez-toc-page-1 ez-toc-heading-level-2'><a class=\"ez-toc-link ez-toc-heading-5\" href=\"https:\/\/sandykaufmann.ch\/en\/89-attachment-styles-and-the-nervous-system\/#The_avoidant_attachment_style\" >The avoidant attachment style<\/a><\/li><li class='ez-toc-page-1 ez-toc-heading-level-2'><a class=\"ez-toc-link ez-toc-heading-6\" href=\"https:\/\/sandykaufmann.ch\/en\/89-attachment-styles-and-the-nervous-system\/#Disorganized_attachment\" >Disorganized attachment<\/a><\/li><li class='ez-toc-page-1 ez-toc-heading-level-2'><a class=\"ez-toc-link ez-toc-heading-7\" href=\"https:\/\/sandykaufmann.ch\/en\/89-attachment-styles-and-the-nervous-system\/#Attachment_styles_are_a_reflection_of_your_autonomic_nervous_system\" >Attachment styles are a reflection of your autonomic nervous system<\/a><\/li><li class='ez-toc-page-1 ez-toc-heading-level-2'><a class=\"ez-toc-link ez-toc-heading-8\" href=\"https:\/\/sandykaufmann.ch\/en\/89-attachment-styles-and-the-nervous-system\/#Why_I_do_not_identify_attachment_styles_in_my_approach\" >Why I do not identify attachment styles in my approach?<\/a><\/li><li class='ez-toc-page-1 ez-toc-heading-level-2'><a class=\"ez-toc-link ez-toc-heading-9\" href=\"https:\/\/sandykaufmann.ch\/en\/89-attachment-styles-and-the-nervous-system\/#The_origin_of_your_attachment_styles\" >The origin of your attachment styles<\/a><\/li><li class='ez-toc-page-1 ez-toc-heading-level-2'><a class=\"ez-toc-link ez-toc-heading-10\" href=\"https:\/\/sandykaufmann.ch\/en\/89-attachment-styles-and-the-nervous-system\/#FREE_Webinar_%22HOW_TO_FREE_OURSELVES_FROM_THE_PATTERNS_THAT_PREVENT_US_FROM_BEING_HAPPY_IN_LOVE%22\" >FREE Webinar \n\"HOW TO FREE OURSELVES FROM THE PATTERNS THAT PREVENT US FROM BEING HAPPY IN LOVE?\"<\/a><\/li><li class='ez-toc-page-1 ez-toc-heading-level-2'><a class=\"ez-toc-link ez-toc-heading-11\" href=\"https:\/\/sandykaufmann.ch\/en\/89-attachment-styles-and-the-nervous-system\/#Going_further\" >Going further<\/a><\/li><\/ul><\/nav><\/div>\n","protected":false},"excerpt":{"rendered":"<p>Attachment styles and the nervous system You have been many to ask me for an episode on attachment styles, a theory developed by John Bowlby and then Mary Ainsworth. What if attachment styles exactly reflected your default nervous system? In episode 89 of my podcast S\u2019ouvrir \u00e0 l\u2019Amour, we are going to talk about the [&hellip;]<\/p>\n","protected":false},"author":1,"featured_media":0,"comment_status":"closed","ping_status":"closed","sticky":false,"template":"elementor_header_footer","format":"standard","meta":{"ocean_post_layout":"full-screen","ocean_both_sidebars_style":"","ocean_both_sidebars_content_width":0,"ocean_both_sidebars_sidebars_width":0,"ocean_sidebar":"0","ocean_second_sidebar":"0","ocean_disable_margins":"enable","ocean_add_body_class":"","ocean_shortcode_before_top_bar":"","ocean_shortcode_after_top_bar":"","ocean_shortcode_before_header":"","ocean_shortcode_after_header":"","ocean_has_shortcode":"","ocean_shortcode_after_title":"","ocean_shortcode_before_footer_widgets":"","ocean_shortcode_after_footer_widgets":"","ocean_shortcode_before_footer_bottom":"","ocean_shortcode_after_footer_bottom":"","ocean_display_top_bar":"default","ocean_display_header":"default","ocean_header_style":"","ocean_center_header_left_menu":"0","ocean_custom_header_template":"0","ocean_custom_logo":0,"ocean_custom_retina_logo":0,"ocean_custom_logo_max_width":0,"ocean_custom_logo_tablet_max_width":0,"ocean_custom_logo_mobile_max_width":0,"ocean_custom_logo_max_height":0,"ocean_custom_logo_tablet_max_height":0,"ocean_custom_logo_mobile_max_height":0,"ocean_header_custom_menu":"0","ocean_menu_typo_font_family":"0","ocean_menu_typo_font_subset":"","ocean_menu_typo_font_size":0,"ocean_menu_typo_font_size_tablet":0,"ocean_menu_typo_font_size_mobile":0,"ocean_menu_typo_font_size_unit":"px","ocean_menu_typo_font_weight":"","ocean_menu_typo_font_weight_tablet":"","ocean_menu_typo_font_weight_mobile":"","ocean_menu_typo_transform":"","ocean_menu_typo_transform_tablet":"","ocean_menu_typo_transform_mobile":"","ocean_menu_typo_line_height":0,"ocean_menu_typo_line_height_tablet":0,"ocean_menu_typo_line_height_mobile":0,"ocean_menu_typo_line_height_unit":"","ocean_menu_typo_spacing":0,"ocean_menu_typo_spacing_tablet":0,"ocean_menu_typo_spacing_mobile":0,"ocean_menu_typo_spacing_unit":"","ocean_menu_link_color":"","ocean_menu_link_color_hover":"","ocean_menu_link_color_active":"","ocean_menu_link_background":"","ocean_menu_link_hover_background":"","ocean_menu_link_active_background":"","ocean_menu_social_links_bg":"","ocean_menu_social_hover_links_bg":"","ocean_menu_social_links_color":"","ocean_menu_social_hover_links_color":"","ocean_disable_title":"default","ocean_disable_heading":"default","ocean_post_title":"","ocean_post_subheading":"","ocean_post_title_style":"","ocean_post_title_background_color":"","ocean_post_title_background":0,"ocean_post_title_bg_image_position":"","ocean_post_title_bg_image_attachment":"","ocean_post_title_bg_image_repeat":"","ocean_post_title_bg_image_size":"","ocean_post_title_height":0,"ocean_post_title_bg_overlay":0.5,"ocean_post_title_bg_overlay_color":"","ocean_disable_breadcrumbs":"default","ocean_breadcrumbs_color":"","ocean_breadcrumbs_separator_color":"","ocean_breadcrumbs_links_color":"","ocean_breadcrumbs_links_hover_color":"","ocean_display_footer_widgets":"default","ocean_display_footer_bottom":"default","ocean_custom_footer_template":"0","ocean_post_oembed":"","ocean_post_self_hosted_media":"","ocean_post_video_embed":"","ocean_link_format":"","ocean_link_format_target":"self","ocean_quote_format":"","ocean_quote_format_link":"post","ocean_gallery_link_images":"on","ocean_gallery_id":[],"footnotes":""},"categories":[69],"tags":[],"class_list":["post-1239361","post","type-post","status-publish","format-standard","hentry","category-behaviour","entry","owp-thumbs-layout-horizontal","owp-btn-normal","owp-tabs-layout-horizontal","has-no-thumbnails"],"_links":{"self":[{"href":"https:\/\/sandykaufmann.ch\/en\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/posts\/1239361","targetHints":{"allow":["GET"]}}],"collection":[{"href":"https:\/\/sandykaufmann.ch\/en\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/posts"}],"about":[{"href":"https:\/\/sandykaufmann.ch\/en\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/types\/post"}],"author":[{"embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/sandykaufmann.ch\/en\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/users\/1"}],"replies":[{"embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/sandykaufmann.ch\/en\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/comments?post=1239361"}],"version-history":[{"count":8,"href":"https:\/\/sandykaufmann.ch\/en\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/posts\/1239361\/revisions"}],"predecessor-version":[{"id":1239521,"href":"https:\/\/sandykaufmann.ch\/en\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/posts\/1239361\/revisions\/1239521"}],"wp:attachment":[{"href":"https:\/\/sandykaufmann.ch\/en\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/media?parent=1239361"}],"wp:term":[{"taxonomy":"category","embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/sandykaufmann.ch\/en\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/categories?post=1239361"},{"taxonomy":"post_tag","embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/sandykaufmann.ch\/en\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/tags?post=1239361"}],"curies":[{"name":"wp","href":"https:\/\/api.w.org\/{rel}","templated":true}]}}