{"id":1206742,"date":"2026-09-28T08:38:25","date_gmt":"2026-09-28T08:38:25","guid":{"rendered":"https:\/\/sandykaufmann.ch\/?p=1206742"},"modified":"2026-09-28T10:38:14","modified_gmt":"2026-09-28T10:38:14","slug":"131-arguing-well-how-to-turn-conflict-into-connection","status":"publish","type":"post","link":"https:\/\/sandykaufmann.ch\/en\/131-arguing-well-how-to-turn-conflict-into-connection\/","title":{"rendered":"131. Arguing Well: How to Turn Conflict into Connection"},"content":{"rendered":"\t\t<div data-elementor-type=\"wp-post\" data-elementor-id=\"1206742\" class=\"elementor elementor-1206742 elementor-1073541\" data-elementor-post-type=\"post\">\n\t\t\t\t\t\t<section class=\"elementor-section elementor-top-section elementor-element elementor-element-7ed86594 elementor-section-content-top elementor-section-full_width elementor-section-height-min-height elementor-section-items-bottom elementor-section-height-default\" data-id=\"7ed86594\" data-element_type=\"section\" data-e-type=\"section\" data-settings=\"{&quot;background_background&quot;:&quot;classic&quot;}\">\n\t\t\t\t\t\t<div class=\"elementor-container elementor-column-gap-default\">\n\t\t\t\t\t<div class=\"elementor-column elementor-col-100 elementor-top-column elementor-element elementor-element-6ea7bd98\" data-id=\"6ea7bd98\" data-element_type=\"column\" data-e-type=\"column\" data-settings=\"{&quot;background_background&quot;:&quot;classic&quot;}\">\n\t\t\t<div class=\"elementor-widget-wrap elementor-element-populated\">\n\t\t\t\t\t\t<div class=\"elementor-element elementor-element-3d639127 elementor-widget elementor-widget-heading\" data-id=\"3d639127\" data-element_type=\"widget\" data-e-type=\"widget\" data-widget_type=\"heading.default\">\n\t\t\t\t<div class=\"elementor-widget-container\">\n\t\t\t\t\t<p class=\"elementor-heading-title elementor-size-xl\">Arguing Well: How to Turn Conflict into Connection<\/p>\t\t\t\t<\/div>\n\t\t\t\t<\/div>\n\t\t\t\t\t<\/div>\n\t\t<\/div>\n\t\t\t\t\t<\/div>\n\t\t<\/section>\n\t\t\t\t<section class=\"elementor-section elementor-top-section elementor-element elementor-element-62d37295 elementor-section-boxed elementor-section-height-default elementor-section-height-default\" data-id=\"62d37295\" data-element_type=\"section\" data-e-type=\"section\">\n\t\t\t\t\t\t<div class=\"elementor-container elementor-column-gap-default\">\n\t\t\t\t\t<div class=\"elementor-column elementor-col-100 elementor-top-column elementor-element elementor-element-4e162bd6\" data-id=\"4e162bd6\" data-element_type=\"column\" data-e-type=\"column\">\n\t\t\t<div class=\"elementor-widget-wrap elementor-element-populated\">\n\t\t\t\t\t\t<div class=\"elementor-element elementor-element-376509b elementor-widget elementor-widget-text-editor\" data-id=\"376509b\" data-element_type=\"widget\" data-e-type=\"widget\" data-widget_type=\"text-editor.default\">\n\t\t\t\t<div class=\"elementor-widget-container\">\n\t\t\t\t\t\t\t\t\t<p><span style=\"font-weight: 400;\">Are you tired of <strong>constantly arguing<\/strong> about the same topics with your partner?<\/span><\/p>\n<p><span style=\"font-weight: 400;\">Do you feel like <strong>every disagreement pushes you further and further apart<\/strong> from one another?<\/span><\/p>\n<p><span style=\"font-weight: 400;\">Or have you realized that, in the end, <strong>the way you go into conflict isn&#8217;t the best one<\/strong>: either you shut down in silence, or you explode, and you don&#8217;t know how to communicate a point of view without falling into one of those extremes?<\/span><\/p>\n<p><span style=\"font-weight: 400;\">Then this podcast episode is for you.<\/span><\/p>\n<p><span style=\"font-weight: 400;\">In this episode I&#8217;ll share the advice of Dr. Julie Schwartz Gottman and Dr. John Gottman of the Gottman Institute. They&#8217;re therapists and researchers who have studied romantic relationships extensively to prove what actually works. Their research even involved asking couples to argue on camera, and by analyzing those videos they were able to observe which mechanisms were constructive in conflict and which were more destructive.<\/span><\/p>\n\t\t\t\t\t\t\t\t<\/div>\n\t\t\t\t<\/div>\n\t\t\t\t<div class=\"elementor-element elementor-element-8411296 elementor-hidden-desktop elementor-hidden-tablet elementor-hidden-mobile elementor-widget elementor-widget-html\" data-id=\"8411296\" data-element_type=\"widget\" data-e-type=\"widget\" data-widget_type=\"html.default\">\n\t\t\t\t<div class=\"elementor-widget-container\">\n\t\t\t\t\t<iframe name=\"Ausha Podcast Player\" frameborder=\"0\" loading=\"lazy\" id=\"ausha-fRee\" height=\"220\" style=\"border: none; width:100%; height:220px\" src=\"https:\/\/player.ausha.co\/?showId=bjPkYiPMPlqo&color=%23d13523&podcastId=bjagzcWe0aa5&v=3&playerId=ausha-fRee\"><\/iframe><script src=\"https:\/\/player.ausha.co\/ausha-player.js\"><\/script>\n\t\t\t\t<\/div>\n\t\t\t\t<\/div>\n\t\t\t\t\t<\/div>\n\t\t<\/div>\n\t\t\t\t\t<\/div>\n\t\t<\/section>\n\t\t\t\t<section class=\"elementor-section elementor-top-section elementor-element elementor-element-47d3c21 elementor-section-boxed elementor-section-height-default elementor-section-height-default\" data-id=\"47d3c21\" data-element_type=\"section\" data-e-type=\"section\">\n\t\t\t\t\t\t<div class=\"elementor-container elementor-column-gap-default\">\n\t\t\t\t\t<div class=\"elementor-column elementor-col-100 elementor-top-column elementor-element elementor-element-3551545\" data-id=\"3551545\" data-element_type=\"column\" data-e-type=\"column\">\n\t\t\t<div class=\"elementor-widget-wrap elementor-element-populated\">\n\t\t\t\t\t\t<div class=\"elementor-element elementor-element-103341b elementor-widget elementor-widget-video\" data-id=\"103341b\" data-element_type=\"widget\" data-e-type=\"widget\" data-settings=\"{&quot;youtube_url&quot;:&quot;https:\\\/\\\/youtu.be\\\/4eIAJzBXsEg&quot;,&quot;video_type&quot;:&quot;youtube&quot;,&quot;controls&quot;:&quot;yes&quot;}\" data-widget_type=\"video.default\">\n\t\t\t\t<div class=\"elementor-widget-container\">\n\t\t\t\t\t\t\t<div class=\"elementor-wrapper elementor-open-inline\">\n\t\t\t<div class=\"elementor-video\"><\/div>\t\t<\/div>\n\t\t\t\t\t\t<\/div>\n\t\t\t\t<\/div>\n\t\t\t\t\t<\/div>\n\t\t<\/div>\n\t\t\t\t\t<\/div>\n\t\t<\/section>\n\t\t\t\t<section class=\"elementor-section elementor-top-section elementor-element elementor-element-b0f216f elementor-section-boxed elementor-section-height-default elementor-section-height-default\" data-id=\"b0f216f\" data-element_type=\"section\" data-e-type=\"section\">\n\t\t\t\t\t\t<div class=\"elementor-container elementor-column-gap-default\">\n\t\t\t\t\t<div class=\"elementor-column elementor-col-100 elementor-top-column elementor-element elementor-element-29e6d57\" data-id=\"29e6d57\" data-element_type=\"column\" data-e-type=\"column\">\n\t\t\t<div class=\"elementor-widget-wrap elementor-element-populated\">\n\t\t\t\t\t\t<div class=\"elementor-element elementor-element-749e97a elementor-widget elementor-widget-text-editor\" data-id=\"749e97a\" data-element_type=\"widget\" data-e-type=\"widget\" data-widget_type=\"text-editor.default\">\n\t\t\t\t<div class=\"elementor-widget-container\">\n\t\t\t\t\t\t\t\t\t<span style=\"font-weight: 400;\">I personally loved this book and highly recommend that you buy it\u2014it\u2019s currently only available in English: \u201cFight Right: How Successful Couples Turn Conflict into Connection?\u201d I assume it will be available in French soon. It\u2019s a great book because the authors explain many real-life examples of couples to help readers fully grasp the concepts, so I highly recommend it.<\/span>\n\n<span style=\"font-weight: 400;\">From a personal perspective, this book confirmed a deep conviction I had\u2014namely, that there are essentially <\/span><b>two things that are essential for building a happy relationship<\/b><span style=\"font-weight: 400;\">:<\/span>\n<ul>\n \t<li style=\"font-weight: 400;\" aria-level=\u201c1\u201d><span style=\"font-weight: 400;\" >The first quality is <\/span><b>appreciation<\/b><span style=\"font-weight: 400;\">\u2014they use the term \u201cpositivity,\u201d meaning the ability to see the positive in your partner and in the relationship. I really like the term \u201cre-cognition\u201d (seeing anew), which I explain in <\/span><a href=\"https:\/\/sandykaufmann.ch\/fr\/102-la-baguette-magique-en-couple\/\" ><span style=\"font-weight: 400;\">Episode 102: The Couple\u2019s Magic Wand<\/span><span style=\"font-weight: 400;\">.<\/span><\/a><\/li>\n<li style=\"font-weight: 400;\" aria-level=\u201c1\u201d><span style=\"font-weight: 400;\">The second skill is <\/span><b>the ability to argue. <\/b><span style=\"font-weight: 400;\">The word \u201cargument\u201d might sound shocking, but ultimately, what is a conflict? It\u2019s a situation where there are two different opinions, and for a conflict to be constructive, it requires the ability to understand the other person\u2019s perspective and, during the discussion, to express your own viewpoint as clearly as possible in order to ultimately find win-win solutions. For me, this skill is the most essential because it <\/span><b>prevents issues from being swept under the rug<\/b><span style=\"font-weight: 400;\">, that is, all <\/span><b>those little conflicts that remain unresolved and add to the resentment in the relationship<\/b><span style=\"font-weight: 400;\"> and that eventually <\/span><b>lead to a disconnect<\/b><span style=\"font-weight: 400;\">. Whereas when you feel heard and understood by your partner\u2014and you understand them in return\u2014that <\/span><b>connection naturally returns<\/b><span style=\"font-weight: 400;\">: you naturally want to spend time with the other person, you naturally want to do little thoughtful things for them, you naturally feel more desire for them\u2014that\u2019s ultimately the source of it all.\n\nThe opposite isn&#8217;t necessarily true if you spend quality time with the person and are interested in them, but there&#8217;s still that \u201cdust under the rug\u201d\u2014it&#8217;s kind of like a pseudo-connection to me: something is happening, but there isn&#8217;t really a strong bond there, and that&#8217;s why it&#8217;s essential to learn how to argue. That\u2019s actually why I created the program <\/span><a href=\"https:\/\/sandykaufmann.ch\/fr\/depasser-une-crise-de-couple\/\"><span style=\"font-weight: 400;\" >Cultivating Love<\/span><\/a><span style=\"font-weight: 400;\"> and I dare say and assert that I believe every couple needs to learn this to maintain their connection.<\/span><\/li>\n<\/ul>\t\t\t\t\t\t\t\t<\/div>\n\t\t\t\t<\/div>\n\t\t\t\t<div class=\"elementor-element elementor-element-2227289 elementor-align-center elementor-mobile-align-center elementor-widget elementor-widget-button\" data-id=\"2227289\" data-element_type=\"widget\" data-e-type=\"widget\" data-widget_type=\"button.default\">\n\t\t\t\t<div class=\"elementor-widget-container\">\n\t\t\t\t\t\t\t\t\t<div class=\"elementor-button-wrapper\">\n\t\t\t\t\t<a class=\"elementor-button elementor-button-link elementor-size-md\" href=\"https:\/\/sandykaufmann.ch\/en\/cultivating-love\/\">\n\t\t\t\t\t\t<span class=\"elementor-button-content-wrapper\">\n\t\t\t\t\t\t\t\t\t<span class=\"elementor-button-text\">CULTIVATING LOVE<\/span>\n\t\t\t\t\t<\/span>\n\t\t\t\t\t<\/a>\n\t\t\t\t<\/div>\n\t\t\t\t\t\t\t\t<\/div>\n\t\t\t\t<\/div>\n\t\t\t\t\t<\/div>\n\t\t<\/div>\n\t\t\t\t\t<\/div>\n\t\t<\/section>\n\t\t\t\t<section class=\"elementor-section elementor-top-section elementor-element elementor-element-6a084f5d elementor-section-full_width elementor-section-height-default elementor-section-height-default\" data-id=\"6a084f5d\" data-element_type=\"section\" data-e-type=\"section\" data-settings=\"{&quot;background_background&quot;:&quot;classic&quot;}\">\n\t\t\t\t\t\t<div class=\"elementor-container elementor-column-gap-no\">\n\t\t\t\t\t<div class=\"elementor-column elementor-col-100 elementor-top-column elementor-element elementor-element-4e42a0fb\" data-id=\"4e42a0fb\" data-element_type=\"column\" data-e-type=\"column\">\n\t\t\t<div class=\"elementor-widget-wrap elementor-element-populated\">\n\t\t\t\t\t\t<section class=\"elementor-section elementor-inner-section elementor-element elementor-element-304d9cfd elementor-section-content-bottom elementor-section-boxed elementor-section-height-default elementor-section-height-default\" data-id=\"304d9cfd\" data-element_type=\"section\" data-e-type=\"section\" data-settings=\"{&quot;background_background&quot;:&quot;classic&quot;}\">\n\t\t\t\t\t\t<div class=\"elementor-container elementor-column-gap-default\">\n\t\t\t\t\t<div class=\"elementor-column elementor-col-100 elementor-inner-column elementor-element elementor-element-5368fef\" data-id=\"5368fef\" data-element_type=\"column\" data-e-type=\"column\">\n\t\t\t<div class=\"elementor-widget-wrap elementor-element-populated\">\n\t\t\t\t\t\t<div class=\"elementor-element elementor-element-5c2213d1 elementor-widget elementor-widget-spacer\" data-id=\"5c2213d1\" data-element_type=\"widget\" data-e-type=\"widget\" data-widget_type=\"spacer.default\">\n\t\t\t\t<div class=\"elementor-widget-container\">\n\t\t\t\t\t\t\t<div class=\"elementor-spacer\">\n\t\t\t<div class=\"elementor-spacer-inner\"><\/div>\n\t\t<\/div>\n\t\t\t\t\t\t<\/div>\n\t\t\t\t<\/div>\n\t\t\t\t\t<\/div>\n\t\t<\/div>\n\t\t\t\t\t<\/div>\n\t\t<\/section>\n\t\t\t\t<section class=\"elementor-section elementor-inner-section elementor-element elementor-element-60aea498 elementor-section-boxed elementor-section-height-default elementor-section-height-default\" data-id=\"60aea498\" data-element_type=\"section\" data-e-type=\"section\">\n\t\t\t\t\t\t<div class=\"elementor-container elementor-column-gap-default\">\n\t\t\t\t\t<div class=\"elementor-column elementor-col-50 elementor-inner-column elementor-element elementor-element-35837fe1\" data-id=\"35837fe1\" data-element_type=\"column\" data-e-type=\"column\" data-settings=\"{&quot;background_background&quot;:&quot;classic&quot;}\">\n\t\t\t<div class=\"elementor-widget-wrap elementor-element-populated\">\n\t\t\t\t\t\t<div class=\"elementor-element elementor-element-6d2bf1db elementor-invisible elementor-widget elementor-widget-heading\" data-id=\"6d2bf1db\" data-element_type=\"widget\" data-e-type=\"widget\" data-settings=\"{&quot;_animation&quot;:&quot;fadeInLeft&quot;}\" data-widget_type=\"heading.default\">\n\t\t\t\t<div class=\"elementor-widget-container\">\n\t\t\t\t\t<p class=\"elementor-heading-title elementor-size-large\">For you<\/p>\t\t\t\t<\/div>\n\t\t\t\t<\/div>\n\t\t\t\t<div class=\"elementor-element elementor-element-7a1a414f elementor-widget elementor-widget-heading\" data-id=\"7a1a414f\" data-element_type=\"widget\" data-e-type=\"widget\" data-widget_type=\"heading.default\">\n\t\t\t\t<div class=\"elementor-widget-container\">\n\t\t\t\t\t<h2 class=\"elementor-heading-title elementor-size-large\"><span class=\"ez-toc-section\" id=\"FREE_Webinar_%22HOW_TO_FREE_OURSELVES_FROM_THE_PATTERNS_THAT_PREVENT_US_FROM_BEING_HAPPY_IN_LOVE%22\"><\/span><span>FREE Webinar \n\"HOW TO FREE OURSELVES FROM THE PATTERNS THAT PREVENT US FROM BEING HAPPY IN LOVE?\"<\/span><span class=\"ez-toc-section-end\"><\/span><\/h2>\t\t\t\t<\/div>\n\t\t\t\t<\/div>\n\t\t\t\t<div class=\"elementor-element elementor-element-5fb24b58 elementor-widget elementor-widget-text-editor\" data-id=\"5fb24b58\" data-element_type=\"widget\" data-e-type=\"widget\" data-widget_type=\"text-editor.default\">\n\t\t\t\t<div class=\"elementor-widget-container\">\n\t\t\t\t\t\t\t\t\tSubscribe now to my newsletter and receive the replay of the webinar how a wound from the past is created ?\u00a0\t\t\t\t\t\t\t\t<\/div>\n\t\t\t\t<\/div>\n\t\t\t\t\t<\/div>\n\t\t<\/div>\n\t\t\t\t<div class=\"elementor-column elementor-col-50 elementor-inner-column elementor-element elementor-element-319a9c75\" data-id=\"319a9c75\" data-element_type=\"column\" data-e-type=\"column\">\n\t\t\t<div class=\"elementor-widget-wrap\">\n\t\t\t\t\t\t\t<\/div>\n\t\t<\/div>\n\t\t\t\t\t<\/div>\n\t\t<\/section>\n\t\t\t\t\t<\/div>\n\t\t<\/div>\n\t\t\t\t\t<\/div>\n\t\t<\/section>\n\t\t\t\t<section class=\"elementor-section elementor-top-section elementor-element elementor-element-5daf1a90 elementor-section-boxed elementor-section-height-default elementor-section-height-default\" data-id=\"5daf1a90\" data-element_type=\"section\" data-e-type=\"section\">\n\t\t\t\t\t\t<div class=\"elementor-container elementor-column-gap-default\">\n\t\t\t\t\t<div class=\"elementor-column elementor-col-100 elementor-top-column elementor-element elementor-element-18ffdadb\" data-id=\"18ffdadb\" data-element_type=\"column\" data-e-type=\"column\">\n\t\t\t<div class=\"elementor-widget-wrap elementor-element-populated\">\n\t\t\t\t\t\t<div class=\"elementor-element elementor-element-12dbdcd2 elementor-widget elementor-widget-shortcode\" data-id=\"12dbdcd2\" data-element_type=\"widget\" data-e-type=\"widget\" data-widget_type=\"shortcode.default\">\n\t\t\t\t<div class=\"elementor-widget-container\">\n\t\t\t\t\t\t\t<div class=\"elementor-shortcode\"><script src=https:\/\/sandy-kaufmann.mykajabi.com\/forms\/2149274867\/embed.js><\/script><\/div>\n\t\t\t\t\t\t<\/div>\n\t\t\t\t<\/div>\n\t\t\t\t<div class=\"elementor-element elementor-element-6d5f64f1 elementor-widget elementor-widget-text-editor\" data-id=\"6d5f64f1\" data-element_type=\"widget\" data-e-type=\"widget\" data-widget_type=\"text-editor.default\">\n\t\t\t\t<div class=\"elementor-widget-container\">\n\t\t\t\t\t\t\t\t\t<p>* Mandatory fields<\/p><p>If you register for this webinar, you will be subscribed to my newsletter and you will be able to receive offers from me. You can unsubscribe at any time. Please read my<br \/><a href=\"https:\/\/sandykaufmann.ch\/datenschutzbestimmungen\/\">privacy policy (german only)<\/a>, to see how I process the data.<\/p>\t\t\t\t\t\t\t\t<\/div>\n\t\t\t\t<\/div>\n\t\t\t\t\t<\/div>\n\t\t<\/div>\n\t\t\t\t\t<\/div>\n\t\t<\/section>\n\t\t\t\t<section class=\"elementor-section elementor-top-section elementor-element elementor-element-bfc43cc elementor-section-boxed elementor-section-height-default elementor-section-height-default\" data-id=\"bfc43cc\" data-element_type=\"section\" data-e-type=\"section\">\n\t\t\t\t\t\t<div class=\"elementor-container elementor-column-gap-default\">\n\t\t\t\t\t<div class=\"elementor-column elementor-col-100 elementor-top-column elementor-element elementor-element-e7999e2\" data-id=\"e7999e2\" data-element_type=\"column\" data-e-type=\"column\">\n\t\t\t<div class=\"elementor-widget-wrap elementor-element-populated\">\n\t\t\t\t\t\t<div class=\"elementor-element elementor-element-141d95f elementor-widget elementor-widget-heading\" data-id=\"141d95f\" data-element_type=\"widget\" data-e-type=\"widget\" data-widget_type=\"heading.default\">\n\t\t\t\t<div class=\"elementor-widget-container\">\n\t\t\t\t\t<h2 class=\"elementor-heading-title elementor-size-default\"><span class=\"ez-toc-section\" id=\"What_the_Research_Says\"><\/span>What the Research Says<span class=\"ez-toc-section-end\"><\/span><\/h2>\t\t\t\t<\/div>\n\t\t\t\t<\/div>\n\t\t\t\t\t<\/div>\n\t\t<\/div>\n\t\t\t\t\t<\/div>\n\t\t<\/section>\n\t\t\t\t<section class=\"elementor-section elementor-top-section elementor-element elementor-element-21ccccb9 elementor-section-boxed elementor-section-height-default elementor-section-height-default\" data-id=\"21ccccb9\" data-element_type=\"section\" data-e-type=\"section\">\n\t\t\t\t\t\t<div class=\"elementor-container elementor-column-gap-default\">\n\t\t\t\t\t<div class=\"elementor-column elementor-col-100 elementor-top-column elementor-element elementor-element-64c5a0fa\" data-id=\"64c5a0fa\" data-element_type=\"column\" data-e-type=\"column\">\n\t\t\t<div class=\"elementor-widget-wrap elementor-element-populated\">\n\t\t\t\t\t\t<div class=\"elementor-element elementor-element-15fd133 elementor-widget elementor-widget-text-editor\" data-id=\"15fd133\" data-element_type=\"widget\" data-e-type=\"widget\" data-widget_type=\"text-editor.default\">\n\t\t\t\t<div class=\"elementor-widget-container\">\n\t\t\t\t\t\t\t\t\t<p><span style=\"font-weight: 400;\">In their book, they mention 4 findings from their research that show you how important it is to learn how to argue well:<\/span><\/p>\n<ul>\n<li><span style=\"font-weight: 400;\">The first finding is that they can predict with 90% accuracy <strong>which couples will stay together and be happy<\/strong> in their relationship \u2014 not just stay together for the sake of staying together, but truly be happy and fulfilled in their relationship (they call this type of couple <strong>the masters of love<\/strong>, the Masters of Love), and they describe the qualities these people share, namely:<\/span>\n<ul>\n<li><span style=\"font-weight: 400;\">the ability to listen<\/span><\/li>\n<li><span style=\"font-weight: 400;\">the ability to go into conflict rather than avoid it<\/span><\/li>\n<li><span style=\"font-weight: 400;\">the ability to go into conflict in a constructive way<\/span><\/li>\n<li><span style=\"font-weight: 400;\">the ability to make repairs if they&#8217;ve acted wrongly<\/span><\/li>\n<\/ul>\n<\/li>\n<li><span style=\"font-weight: 400;\">The second finding (which raises the stakes) is that <strong>the first three minutes of a conflict can predict the fate of your relationship six years later<\/strong>!<\/span><\/li>\n<li><span style=\"font-weight: 400;\">The third finding is that they identified <strong>four sabotaging behaviors in conflict, which they called the four horsemen of the apocalypse<\/strong>, predicting the couple&#8217;s separation within 5 years:<\/span>\n<ul>\n<li><span style=\"font-weight: 400;\"><strong>criticism<\/strong><\/span><\/li>\n<li><span style=\"font-weight: 400;\"><strong>contempt<\/strong>, meaning having negative thoughts about the other person as a person, which brings with it a sense of superiority over the other<\/span><\/li>\n<li><span style=\"font-weight: 400;\"><strong>shutting down into silence<\/strong><\/span><\/li>\n<li><span style=\"font-weight: 400;\"><strong>being defensive<\/strong><\/span><\/li>\n<\/ul>\n<\/li>\n<li><span style=\"font-weight: 400;\">The fourth finding is that <strong>69% of conflicts are unsolvable<\/strong>, meaning there&#8217;s no easy solution, so this also calls for a skill I call <strong>ping-pong<\/strong>: being able to go back and forth, refining what matters most to each partner through the discussion, until reaching a solution that isn&#8217;t a compromise but a win-win solution<\/strong>. So for the singles listening, this doesn&#8217;t mean you should stay in an unsatisfying relationship where most of your relational needs aren&#8217;t being met. What this number means is that even if you meet someone things go well with, you&#8217;ll still have 69% of conflicts that are unsolvable. That doesn&#8217;t take away your responsibility to choose someone compatible with you who has the right skills to build a healthy relationship, because that can actually reduce this number.<\/span><\/li>\n<\/ul>\n\t\t\t\t\t\t\t\t<\/div>\n\t\t\t\t<\/div>\n\t\t\t\t\t<\/div>\n\t\t<\/div>\n\t\t\t\t\t<\/div>\n\t\t<\/section>\n\t\t\t\t<section class=\"elementor-section elementor-top-section elementor-element elementor-element-231a621 elementor-section-boxed elementor-section-height-default elementor-section-height-default\" data-id=\"231a621\" data-element_type=\"section\" data-e-type=\"section\">\n\t\t\t\t\t\t<div class=\"elementor-container elementor-column-gap-default\">\n\t\t\t\t\t<div class=\"elementor-column elementor-col-100 elementor-top-column elementor-element elementor-element-0dcfa09\" data-id=\"0dcfa09\" data-element_type=\"column\" data-e-type=\"column\">\n\t\t\t<div class=\"elementor-widget-wrap elementor-element-populated\">\n\t\t\t\t\t\t<div class=\"elementor-element elementor-element-a92e190 elementor-widget elementor-widget-heading\" data-id=\"a92e190\" data-element_type=\"widget\" data-e-type=\"widget\" data-widget_type=\"heading.default\">\n\t\t\t\t<div class=\"elementor-widget-container\">\n\t\t\t\t\t<h2 class=\"elementor-heading-title elementor-size-default\"><span class=\"ez-toc-section\" id=\"The_Three_Main_Conflict-Entry_Styles_Dont_Influence_the_Outcome_of_the_Conflict\"><\/span>The Three Main Conflict-Entry Styles Don't Influence the Outcome of the Conflict<span class=\"ez-toc-section-end\"><\/span><\/h2>\t\t\t\t<\/div>\n\t\t\t\t<\/div>\n\t\t\t\t<div class=\"elementor-element elementor-element-eb7a819 elementor-widget elementor-widget-text-editor\" data-id=\"eb7a819\" data-element_type=\"widget\" data-e-type=\"widget\" data-widget_type=\"text-editor.default\">\n\t\t\t\t<div class=\"elementor-widget-container\">\n\t\t\t\t\t\t\t\t\t<span style=\"font-weight: 400;\">They describe three ways of entering conflict, so three conflict styles:<\/span>\n<ul>\n \t<li><span style=\"font-weight: 400;\">The <strong>avoidant style, which avoids conflict<\/strong> to preserve harmony and is fine agreeing to disagree.<\/span><\/li>\n \t<li><span style=\"font-weight: 400;\">The <strong>validating style, which goes into conflict<\/strong>, is open to finding a compromise, and acts <strong>in a collaborative way<\/strong>.<\/span><\/li>\n \t<li><span style=\"font-weight: 400;\">The <strong>volatile style, which tends to jump into conflict quickly<\/strong>, where tension can rise more easily \u2014 <strong>things heat up.<\/strong><\/span><\/li>\n<\/ul>\n<span style=\"font-weight: 400;\">You might assume it&#8217;s necessarily the validating style that&#8217;s best, that manages the most constructive conflict and leads to the most positive outcome.<\/span>\n\n<span style=\"font-weight: 400;\">Well, no!<\/span>\n\n<span style=\"font-weight: 400;\">Of course, <strong>being aware of your own way of entering conflict, and of your partner&#8217;s style,<\/strong> will be a huge <strong>help for having a constructive conflict, because you&#8217;ll understand what the weak point of your style is and you&#8217;ll be able to change it.<\/strong><\/span>\n<span style=\"font-weight: 400;\" >In my program <a href=\"https:\/\/sandykaufmann.ch\/en\/cultivating-love\/\">Cultivating Love <\/a><\/span><span style=\"font-weight: 400;\">and also in my program <\/span><a href=\"https:\/\/sandykaufmann.ch\/en\/opening-up-to-love\/\" ><span style=\"font-weight: 400;\">Opening Up to Love<\/span><\/a><span style=\"font-weight: 400;\"> I share <\/span><b>a tool I call the \u201cHouse of Conflict\u201d<\/b><span style=\"font-weight: 400;\"> which helps you understand how certain styles can clash more easily than others,  typically, if your partner has an avoidant profile and you have a more volatile profile, it\u2019s going to be more challenging to have a constructive conflict. That was typically the case with my husband and me\u2014I was more the volatile type, so I had to learn to calm down, and my husband was more the avoidant type, so he had to learn to engage in the conflict even if it\u2019s unpleasant, We\u2019ve moved more toward the \u201cvalidating\u201d dynamic, even though we still fall back on our default styles depending on the nature of the conflict. Knowing each partner\u2019s conflict style also helps you determine whether what you\u2019re doing helps de-escalate the conflict or, on the contrary, causes it to escalate\u2014so this is indeed useful information for becoming more skilled. <\/span> <span style=\"font-weight: 400;\">But what was really interesting about this book is that they actually investigated whether these styles are what cause conflicts to fail, and <\/span><b>they came to the conclusion that this isn&#8217;t the key factor in having constructive conflicts.<\/b>\t\t\t\t\t\t\t\t<\/div>\n\t\t\t\t<\/div>\n\t\t\t\t\t<\/div>\n\t\t<\/div>\n\t\t\t\t\t<\/div>\n\t\t<\/section>\n\t\t\t\t<section class=\"elementor-section elementor-top-section elementor-element elementor-element-35c99e3 elementor-section-boxed elementor-section-height-default elementor-section-height-default\" data-id=\"35c99e3\" data-element_type=\"section\" data-e-type=\"section\">\n\t\t\t\t\t\t<div class=\"elementor-container elementor-column-gap-default\">\n\t\t\t\t\t<div class=\"elementor-column elementor-col-100 elementor-top-column elementor-element elementor-element-46c2276\" data-id=\"46c2276\" data-element_type=\"column\" data-e-type=\"column\">\n\t\t\t<div class=\"elementor-widget-wrap elementor-element-populated\">\n\t\t\t\t\t\t<div class=\"elementor-element elementor-element-3917d46 elementor-widget elementor-widget-heading\" data-id=\"3917d46\" data-element_type=\"widget\" data-e-type=\"widget\" data-widget_type=\"heading.default\">\n\t\t\t\t<div class=\"elementor-widget-container\">\n\t\t\t\t\t<h2 class=\"elementor-heading-title elementor-size-default\"><span class=\"ez-toc-section\" id=\"The_Secret_to_Constructive_Conflict_Is_the_5_1_Ratio\"><\/span>The Secret to Constructive Conflict Is the 5:1 Ratio<span class=\"ez-toc-section-end\"><\/span><\/h2>\t\t\t\t<\/div>\n\t\t\t\t<\/div>\n\t\t\t\t<div class=\"elementor-element elementor-element-339d287 elementor-widget elementor-widget-text-editor\" data-id=\"339d287\" data-element_type=\"widget\" data-e-type=\"widget\" data-widget_type=\"text-editor.default\">\n\t\t\t\t<div class=\"elementor-widget-container\">\n\t\t\t\t\t\t\t\t\t<span style=\"font-weight: 400;\">That is, <b>5 positive interactions versus one negative interaction during the conflict<\/b> (they also measured the ratio outside of the conflict and estimated it at 20:1)<\/span>\n\n<span style=\"font-weight: 400;\">So how can you add positivity to your conflicts?<\/span><span style=\"font-weight: 400;\">\n<\/span>\n<ul>\n \t<li style=\"font-weight: 400;\" aria-level=\u201c1\u201d><span style=\"font-weight: 400;\">Through <\/span><b>nonverbal cues<\/b><span style=\"font-weight: 400;\" >\u2014it could be a smile, a nod, or a reassuring touch. Here, I\u2019ll add a caveat: not all nonverbal gestures are positive for everyone. For example, something that often happens is when there\u2019s a conflict and some people are very averse to touch because they feel threatened\u2014this is often a reaction of your nervous system being in the sympathetic (fight mode), so even the slightest touch can feel like an attack.  For someone else, smiling during a conversation might come across as insincere or dishonest, so be sure to observe what is considered positive by your partner to achieve that 5:1 effect. <\/span><\/li>\n<li style=\"font-weight: 400;\" aria-level=\u201c1\u201d><b>Take responsibility for your impact<\/b><span style=\"font-weight: 400;\">  by saying, for example, \u201cI recognize that my words were hurtful,\u201d \u201cI\u2019m sorry for doing that,\u201d \u201cI think I was wrong about that,\u201d \u2018You\u2019re right; I should have handled that differently.\u2019 Sincerity matters.<\/span><\/li>\n \t<li style=\"font-weight: 400;\" aria-level=\u201c1\u201d><b>Validate the other person<\/b><span style=\"font-weight: 400;\">:  for example, \u201cI understand your point of view better now,\u201d \u201cOh, yes, that\u2019s a good point,\u201d \u201cYou\u2019re right,\u201d \u201cThank you for opening up to me.\u201d<\/span><\/li>\n \t<li style=\"font-weight: 400;\" aria-level=\u201c1\u201d><b>Talk about the positive aspects of the relationship<\/b><span style=\"font-weight: 400;\">:  for example, reminding each other of everything you\u2019ve already managed to overcome in the past, the things you have in common, your shared strengths, what you\u2019re doing well in the relationship in general or in this specific conflict\u2014everything positive about your relationship.<\/span><\/li>\n<\/ul>\n<span style=\"font-weight: 400;\">And to help you assess whether you\u2019re within that 5:1 ratio, I recommend avoiding keeping score (which could make the conflict worse); instead, ask yourself if, during conflicts:<\/span>\n<ul>\n \t<li aria-level=\u201c1\u201d><b>Do you feel heard?<\/b><\/li>\n     <li style=\"font-weight: 400;\" aria-level=\u201c1\u201d><span style=\"font-weight: 400;\">Does your partner feel heard? <\/span><\/li>\n<li style=\"font-weight: 400;\" aria-level=\u201c1\u201d><span style=\"font-weight: 400;\" >Do you <\/span><b>feel like you\u2019re constantly in a battle during this discussion <\/b><span style=\"font-weight: 400;\">or are there little moments of calm, relief, reconnection, or lightness\u2014even if the situation isn\u2019t pleasant? <\/span><\/li>\n<\/ul>\n<span style=\"font-weight: 400;\">If you answer \u201cno\u201d most of the time\u2014that it\u2019s mostly a struggle and you don\u2019t feel heard\u2014you can conclude that you need to inject more positivity into your conflicts.<\/span>\n\n<span style=\"font-weight: 400;\">He also recommends that <\/span><b>when negativity takes over, you call a halt<\/b><span style=\"font-weight: 400;\"> by saying something like, \u201cWhoa, I feel like we\u2019re heading in the wrong direction\u2014can we postpone this discussion?\u201d<\/span>\n\n<span style=\"font-weight: 400;\">In my view, the escalation of negativity has three causes:<\/span>\n<ul>\n     <li style=\"font-weight: 400;\" aria-level=\u201c1\u201d><b>A past wound of one partner is triggered by the situation, and their nervous system has taken over. This partner needs to self-regulate through their body.<\/b><span style=\"font-weight: 400;\">\nI talk about this in <\/span><span style=\"font-weight: 400;\">l<\/span><span style=\"font-weight: 400;\"><a href=\"https:\/\/smartlink.ausha.co\/s-ouvrir-a-l-amour\/122-comment-reguler-ses-emotions\" target=\"_blank\" rel=\"noopener\">&#8216; <\/a><a href=\"https:\/\/sandykaufmann.ch\/fr\/122-comment-reguler-ses-emotions\/\">Episode 122: How to Regulate Your Emotions?<\/a><\/span><span style=\"font-weight: 400;\">.If you feel like this happens to you very often, it\u2019s worth doing some in-depth work on your relationship patterns and the past wounds that get triggered in your relationships\u2014that\u2019s what I offer in my program <a href=\"https:\/\/sandykaufmann.ch\/fr\/cultiver-lamour\/\">Cultivating Love<\/a><\/span><span style=\"font-weight: 400;\" > If you\u2019d like to learn more, you can watch my webinar \u201cHow to Break Free from Patterns That Prevent You from Being Happy in Love?\u201d <\/span><\/li>\n<\/ul>\t\t\t\t\t\t\t\t<\/div>\n\t\t\t\t<\/div>\n\t\t\t\t\t<\/div>\n\t\t<\/div>\n\t\t\t\t\t<\/div>\n\t\t<\/section>\n\t\t\t\t<section class=\"elementor-section elementor-top-section elementor-element elementor-element-69da78bf elementor-section-full_width elementor-section-height-default elementor-section-height-default\" data-id=\"69da78bf\" data-element_type=\"section\" data-e-type=\"section\" data-settings=\"{&quot;background_background&quot;:&quot;classic&quot;}\">\n\t\t\t\t\t\t<div class=\"elementor-container elementor-column-gap-no\">\n\t\t\t\t\t<div class=\"elementor-column elementor-col-100 elementor-top-column elementor-element elementor-element-469a1100\" data-id=\"469a1100\" data-element_type=\"column\" data-e-type=\"column\">\n\t\t\t<div class=\"elementor-widget-wrap elementor-element-populated\">\n\t\t\t\t\t\t<section class=\"elementor-section elementor-inner-section elementor-element elementor-element-4c634649 elementor-section-content-bottom elementor-section-boxed elementor-section-height-default elementor-section-height-default\" data-id=\"4c634649\" data-element_type=\"section\" data-e-type=\"section\" data-settings=\"{&quot;background_background&quot;:&quot;classic&quot;}\">\n\t\t\t\t\t\t<div class=\"elementor-container elementor-column-gap-default\">\n\t\t\t\t\t<div class=\"elementor-column elementor-col-100 elementor-inner-column elementor-element elementor-element-3d24a084\" data-id=\"3d24a084\" data-element_type=\"column\" data-e-type=\"column\">\n\t\t\t<div class=\"elementor-widget-wrap elementor-element-populated\">\n\t\t\t\t\t\t<div class=\"elementor-element elementor-element-1777610c elementor-widget elementor-widget-spacer\" data-id=\"1777610c\" data-element_type=\"widget\" data-e-type=\"widget\" data-widget_type=\"spacer.default\">\n\t\t\t\t<div class=\"elementor-widget-container\">\n\t\t\t\t\t\t\t<div class=\"elementor-spacer\">\n\t\t\t<div class=\"elementor-spacer-inner\"><\/div>\n\t\t<\/div>\n\t\t\t\t\t\t<\/div>\n\t\t\t\t<\/div>\n\t\t\t\t\t<\/div>\n\t\t<\/div>\n\t\t\t\t\t<\/div>\n\t\t<\/section>\n\t\t\t\t<section class=\"elementor-section elementor-inner-section elementor-element elementor-element-1e5ac19a elementor-section-boxed elementor-section-height-default elementor-section-height-default\" data-id=\"1e5ac19a\" data-element_type=\"section\" data-e-type=\"section\">\n\t\t\t\t\t\t<div class=\"elementor-container elementor-column-gap-default\">\n\t\t\t\t\t<div class=\"elementor-column elementor-col-50 elementor-inner-column elementor-element elementor-element-689b2dc0\" data-id=\"689b2dc0\" data-element_type=\"column\" data-e-type=\"column\" data-settings=\"{&quot;background_background&quot;:&quot;classic&quot;}\">\n\t\t\t<div class=\"elementor-widget-wrap elementor-element-populated\">\n\t\t\t\t\t\t<div class=\"elementor-element elementor-element-e611c0b elementor-invisible elementor-widget elementor-widget-heading\" data-id=\"e611c0b\" data-element_type=\"widget\" data-e-type=\"widget\" data-settings=\"{&quot;_animation&quot;:&quot;fadeInLeft&quot;}\" data-widget_type=\"heading.default\">\n\t\t\t\t<div class=\"elementor-widget-container\">\n\t\t\t\t\t<p class=\"elementor-heading-title elementor-size-large\">For you<\/p>\t\t\t\t<\/div>\n\t\t\t\t<\/div>\n\t\t\t\t<div class=\"elementor-element elementor-element-4e1fbff3 elementor-widget elementor-widget-heading\" data-id=\"4e1fbff3\" data-element_type=\"widget\" data-e-type=\"widget\" data-widget_type=\"heading.default\">\n\t\t\t\t<div class=\"elementor-widget-container\">\n\t\t\t\t\t<h2 class=\"elementor-heading-title elementor-size-large\"><span class=\"ez-toc-section\" id=\"FREE_Webinar_%22HOW_TO_FREE_OURSELVES_FROM_THE_PATTERNS_THAT_PREVENT_US_FROM_BEING_HAPPY_IN_LOVE%22-2\"><\/span><span>FREE Webinar \n\"HOW TO FREE OURSELVES FROM THE PATTERNS THAT PREVENT US FROM BEING HAPPY IN LOVE?\"<\/span><span class=\"ez-toc-section-end\"><\/span><\/h2>\t\t\t\t<\/div>\n\t\t\t\t<\/div>\n\t\t\t\t<div class=\"elementor-element elementor-element-15a9e005 elementor-widget elementor-widget-text-editor\" data-id=\"15a9e005\" data-element_type=\"widget\" data-e-type=\"widget\" data-widget_type=\"text-editor.default\">\n\t\t\t\t<div class=\"elementor-widget-container\">\n\t\t\t\t\t\t\t\t\tSubscribe now to my newsletter and receive the replay of the webinar how a wound from the past is created ?\u00a0\t\t\t\t\t\t\t\t<\/div>\n\t\t\t\t<\/div>\n\t\t\t\t\t<\/div>\n\t\t<\/div>\n\t\t\t\t<div class=\"elementor-column elementor-col-50 elementor-inner-column elementor-element elementor-element-39baea3c\" data-id=\"39baea3c\" data-element_type=\"column\" data-e-type=\"column\">\n\t\t\t<div class=\"elementor-widget-wrap\">\n\t\t\t\t\t\t\t<\/div>\n\t\t<\/div>\n\t\t\t\t\t<\/div>\n\t\t<\/section>\n\t\t\t\t\t<\/div>\n\t\t<\/div>\n\t\t\t\t\t<\/div>\n\t\t<\/section>\n\t\t\t\t<section class=\"elementor-section elementor-top-section elementor-element elementor-element-4acde6d2 elementor-section-boxed elementor-section-height-default elementor-section-height-default\" data-id=\"4acde6d2\" data-element_type=\"section\" data-e-type=\"section\">\n\t\t\t\t\t\t<div class=\"elementor-container elementor-column-gap-default\">\n\t\t\t\t\t<div class=\"elementor-column elementor-col-100 elementor-top-column elementor-element elementor-element-3779352f\" data-id=\"3779352f\" data-element_type=\"column\" data-e-type=\"column\">\n\t\t\t<div class=\"elementor-widget-wrap elementor-element-populated\">\n\t\t\t\t\t\t<div class=\"elementor-element elementor-element-7b90d29c elementor-widget elementor-widget-shortcode\" data-id=\"7b90d29c\" data-element_type=\"widget\" data-e-type=\"widget\" data-widget_type=\"shortcode.default\">\n\t\t\t\t<div class=\"elementor-widget-container\">\n\t\t\t\t\t\t\t<div class=\"elementor-shortcode\"><script src=https:\/\/sandy-kaufmann.mykajabi.com\/forms\/2149274867\/embed.js><\/script><\/div>\n\t\t\t\t\t\t<\/div>\n\t\t\t\t<\/div>\n\t\t\t\t<div class=\"elementor-element elementor-element-541e5322 elementor-widget elementor-widget-text-editor\" data-id=\"541e5322\" data-element_type=\"widget\" data-e-type=\"widget\" data-widget_type=\"text-editor.default\">\n\t\t\t\t<div class=\"elementor-widget-container\">\n\t\t\t\t\t\t\t\t\t<p>* Mandatory fields<\/p><p>If you register for this webinar, you will be subscribed to my newsletter and you will be able to receive offers from me. You can unsubscribe at any time. Please read my<br \/><a href=\"https:\/\/sandykaufmann.ch\/datenschutzbestimmungen\/\">privacy policy (german only)<\/a>, to see how I process the data.<\/p>\t\t\t\t\t\t\t\t<\/div>\n\t\t\t\t<\/div>\n\t\t\t\t\t<\/div>\n\t\t<\/div>\n\t\t\t\t\t<\/div>\n\t\t<\/section>\n\t\t\t\t<section class=\"elementor-section elementor-top-section elementor-element elementor-element-8f1ab09 elementor-section-boxed elementor-section-height-default elementor-section-height-default\" data-id=\"8f1ab09\" data-element_type=\"section\" data-e-type=\"section\">\n\t\t\t\t\t\t<div class=\"elementor-container elementor-column-gap-default\">\n\t\t\t\t\t<div class=\"elementor-column elementor-col-100 elementor-top-column elementor-element elementor-element-eae4e53\" data-id=\"eae4e53\" data-element_type=\"column\" data-e-type=\"column\">\n\t\t\t<div class=\"elementor-widget-wrap elementor-element-populated\">\n\t\t\t\t\t\t<div class=\"elementor-element elementor-element-e78a3a1 elementor-widget elementor-widget-text-editor\" data-id=\"e78a3a1\" data-element_type=\"widget\" data-e-type=\"widget\" data-widget_type=\"text-editor.default\">\n\t\t\t\t<div class=\"elementor-widget-container\">\n\t\t\t\t\t\t\t\t\t\n<ul>\n     <li style=\"font-weight: 400;\" aria-level=\u201c1\u201d><b>Either it\u2019s because you\u2019ve let too much dust build up on the rug, and every time you get into a conflict, the leftover issues resurface\u2014which is why it\u2019s so important to isolate and break down the sources of conflict. <\/b><span style=\"font-weight: 400;\">In their book, Julie and John Gottman discuss \u201ckitchen sinking\u201d\u2014that is, starting one conflict and ending up in another\u2014and it\u2019s certainly difficult to resolve things afterward because you end up going in circles.<\/span><\/li>\n<\/ul>\n<span style=\"font-weight: 400;\">The final cause, <\/span><b>is that you\u2019re in a crisis<\/b><span style=\"font-weight: 400;\">\u2014I explain how to get past it <\/span><span style=\"font-weight: 400;\" ><a href=\"https:\/\/sandykaufmann.ch\/fr\/47-les-3-etapes-pour-depasser-une-crise-de-couple\/\">in Episode 47<\/a><\/span><span style=\"font-weight: 400;\"> .<\/span><\/a><span style=\"font-weight: 400;\" > A crisis is different from a simple conflict; it\u2019s when you start to notice that many conflicts are repeating themselves, and that\u2019s a sign that two past wounds are resurfacing at the same time in response to a change in the level of dependence within the couple. It may seem like a storm is coming, but in fact it\u2019s often a great opportunity for healing and mutual support, because what one partner will have to do to overcome this wound will, at the same time, help the other partner overcom\t\t\t\t\t\t\t\t<\/div>\n\t\t\t\t<\/div>\n\t\t\t\t\t<\/div>\n\t\t<\/div>\n\t\t\t\t\t<\/div>\n\t\t<\/section>\n\t\t\t\t<section class=\"elementor-section elementor-top-section elementor-element elementor-element-990286e elementor-section-boxed elementor-section-height-default elementor-section-height-default\" data-id=\"990286e\" data-element_type=\"section\" data-e-type=\"section\">\n\t\t\t\t\t\t<div class=\"elementor-container elementor-column-gap-default\">\n\t\t\t\t\t<div class=\"elementor-column elementor-col-100 elementor-top-column elementor-element elementor-element-50c4642\" data-id=\"50c4642\" data-element_type=\"column\" data-e-type=\"column\">\n\t\t\t<div class=\"elementor-widget-wrap elementor-element-populated\">\n\t\t\t\t\t\t<div class=\"elementor-element elementor-element-8845d7e elementor-widget elementor-widget-heading\" data-id=\"8845d7e\" data-element_type=\"widget\" data-e-type=\"widget\" data-widget_type=\"heading.default\">\n\t\t\t\t<div class=\"elementor-widget-container\">\n\t\t\t\t\t<h2 class=\"elementor-heading-title elementor-size-default\"><span class=\"ez-toc-section\" id=\"5_Tips_for_a_Healthy_Constructive_Conflict\"><\/span>5 Tips for a Healthy, Constructive Conflict<span class=\"ez-toc-section-end\"><\/span><\/h2>\t\t\t\t<\/div>\n\t\t\t\t<\/div>\n\t\t\t\t<div class=\"elementor-element elementor-element-203f959 elementor-widget elementor-widget-text-editor\" data-id=\"203f959\" data-element_type=\"widget\" data-e-type=\"widget\" data-widget_type=\"text-editor.default\">\n\t\t\t\t<div class=\"elementor-widget-container\">\n\t\t\t\t\t\t\t\t\t<b>The purpose of a conflict isn\u2019t to find a solution, but to understand each person\u2019s reality.<\/b><span style=\"font-weight: 400;\">It\u2019s not just Gottman who says this\u2014the founders of the IMAGO method say it too. It\u2019s truly the basic principle for moving past a conflict.<\/span>\n\n<span style=\"font-weight: 400;\">In addition to this essential principle, they offer five key tips in their book for arguing in a healthy way:<\/span><span style=\"font-weight: 400;\">\n<\/span>\n<ol>\n \t<li><b>Start the conflict off on the right foot<\/b><span style=\"font-weight: 400;\">. Instead of criticizing, use \u201cI\u201d statements; describe the situation as factually as possible; and express your needs in a positive way by saying what you want rather than what you don\u2019t want; I\u2019d like to give a quick shout-out to the program participant <\/span><a href=\"https:\/\/sandykaufmann.ch\/fr\/souvrir-a-lamour\/\"><span style=\"font-weight: 400;\">Opening Yourself Up to Love<\/span><\/a><span style=\"font-weight: 400;\" >\u2014who I think will recognize many of the practical exercises they did during the program\u2014and also <\/span><b>listening to and validating the other person without being defensive<\/b><span style=\"font-weight: 400;\"> but rather to understand their perspective and reality. Your perspective and your partner\u2019s can coexist; neither is more justified or correct than the other.<\/span><\/li>\n<\/ol>\t\t\t\t\t\t\t\t<\/div>\n\t\t\t\t<\/div>\n\t\t\t\t<div class=\"elementor-element elementor-element-80249c7 elementor-widget elementor-widget-text-editor\" data-id=\"80249c7\" data-element_type=\"widget\" data-e-type=\"widget\" data-widget_type=\"text-editor.default\">\n\t\t\t\t<div class=\"elementor-widget-container\">\n\t\t\t\t\t\t\t\t\t<b>2. Stay collaborative<\/b><span style=\"font-weight: 400;\">.  He suggests three ways to do this: <\/span>\n<ul>\n     <li><b>Take a break<\/b><span style=\"font-weight: 400;\" > if you\u2019re too emotionally aroused (sympathetic nervous system). For this, I recommend the \u201canger points\u201d exercise, the \u201cpushing the wall\u201d exercise, or Esther Perel\u2019s exercise\u2014which I found very funny\u2014to bring positivity into conflicts: lie down on the floor, because when you\u2019re lying down, you can\u2019t be in attack mode<\/span><\/li>\n \t<li><b>You set a maximum timeframe for getting back to each other<\/b><span style=\"font-weight: 400;\">they recommend no later than 24 hours; in the IMAGO method, they recommend setting a specific time to meet, which I think is a good idea because it allows both people to be available and open to discussion.<\/span><\/li>\n \t<li><b>Make amends if you weren\u2019t able to stay calm.<\/b><\/li>\n<\/ul>\t\t\t\t\t\t\t\t<\/div>\n\t\t\t\t<\/div>\n\t\t\t\t<div class=\"elementor-element elementor-element-1a1f4f8 elementor-widget elementor-widget-text-editor\" data-id=\"1a1f4f8\" data-element_type=\"widget\" data-e-type=\"widget\" data-widget_type=\"text-editor.default\">\n\t\t\t\t<div class=\"elementor-widget-container\">\n\t\t\t\t\t\t\t\t\t<b>3. Pursue your dream.<\/b><span style=\"font-weight: 400;\" > Julie and John explain in their book that recurring, persistent, and intractable conflicts are often a sign that there is a more or less conscious difference in each partner\u2019s dreams, and they suggest discussing this by listening to and validating what the other person says, in accordance with the principles of <\/span><a href=\"https:\/\/sandykaufmann.ch\/fr\/ 72-harville-hendrix-helen-hunt-le-dialogue-imago\/\"><span style=\"font-weight: 400;\">IMAGO dialogue, which I explained in Episode 72<\/span><span style=\"font-weight: 400;\">.<\/span><\/a><span style=\"font-weight: 400;\" >  To foster the dialogue, they suggest 6 questions <\/span><b>to help your partner identify the dream hidden beneath this conflict:<\/b>\n<ul>\n     <li><span style=\"font-weight: 400;\">Why is your position in this conflict important to you?<\/span><\/li>\n \t<li><span style=\"font-weight: 400;\">What value, conviction, or belief does your stance in the conflict reflect?<\/span><\/li>\n     <li><span style=\"font-weight: 400;\">What would be the ideal situation\u2014your dream?<\/span><\/li>\n \t<li><span style=\"font-weight: 400;\">Is this stance connected to an experience from your past or childhood?<\/span><\/li>\n     <li><span style=\"font-weight: 400;\">Is there an underlying goal?<\/span><\/li>\n<\/ul>\t\t\t\t\t\t\t\t<\/div>\n\t\t\t\t<\/div>\n\t\t\t\t<div class=\"elementor-element elementor-element-97c9477 elementor-widget elementor-widget-text-editor\" data-id=\"97c9477\" data-element_type=\"widget\" data-e-type=\"widget\" data-widget_type=\"text-editor.default\">\n\t\t\t\t<div class=\"elementor-widget-container\">\n\t\t\t\t\t\t\t\t\t<p><b>4. Identify areas of flexibility. <\/b><span style=\"font-weight: 400;\"> The idea isn\u2019t <\/span><b>to compromise<\/b><span style=\"font-weight: 400;\">\u2014which is more of a win-lose dynamic\u2014but to identify each of your essential, non-negotiable needs and find a win-win solution. <\/span><b>This requires more back-and-forth, but it\u2019s really worth it so you don\u2019t end up feeling like you\u2019ve sacrificed yourself for your relationship in the long run.<\/b><span style=\"font-weight: 400;\"> They recommend <\/span><b>the bagel approach<\/b><span style=\"font-weight: 400;\">\u2014so the bagel is a sandwich where in the middle is what\u2019s non-negotiable, like your ham or cheese, and on top or bottom are the layers that are more flexible and negotiable. So, for example, if I draw the parallel with the sandwich again, if it\u2019s not really that important to you to have a sandwich with lettuce or tomatoes, you can leave that part out while keeping the core\u2014namely, your ham or cheese. You get the idea.<\/span><\/p><p><span style=\"font-weight: 400;\">5. The last point is <\/span><b>to resolve past conflicts<\/b><span style=\"font-weight: 400;\"> in other words, to clean up that proverbial dust swept under the rug and, basically, to make amends\u2014that is, to have a conversation where you listen to the other person, take your share of responsibility, and also communicate how you\u2019d like to handle things next time\u2014so a formal commitment to change your 50%, and of course your partner goes through the same process as well.<\/span><\/p>\t\t\t\t\t\t\t\t<\/div>\n\t\t\t\t<\/div>\n\t\t\t\t<div class=\"elementor-element elementor-element-98a03d2 elementor-widget elementor-widget-text-editor\" data-id=\"98a03d2\" data-element_type=\"widget\" data-e-type=\"widget\" data-widget_type=\"text-editor.default\">\n\t\t\t\t<div class=\"elementor-widget-container\">\n\t\t\t\t\t\t\t\t\t<span style=\"font-weight: 400;\">So here\u2019s this episode on conflicts\u2014I hope you enjoyed it and that it inspired you to learn this skill, which is essential for relationships. And if you feel like you\u2019re not getting anywhere or that the conflict you\u2019re facing is just too big, my advice is: don\u2019t wait until there\u2019s too much swept under the rug. I read somewhere\u2014I can\u2019t remember where\u2014that couples generally wait 5 to 6 years before seeing a therapist or a relationship coach, so <\/span><b>my advice to you is that there\u2019s no harm in asking for help before it\u2019s too late\u2014that is, before the disconnect becomes too great\u2014to avoid reaching that point of no return. <\/b>\n\n<span style=\"font-weight: 400;\">That\u2019s why I explain all these tools in my program for singles <\/span><a href=\"https:\/\/sandykaufmann.ch\/en\/opening-up-to-love\/\"><span style=\"font-weight: 400;\" >Opening Up to Love<\/span><\/a><span style=\"font-weight: 400;\"> because I believe that the sooner you learn this, the more it helps you build a solid relationship. <\/span>\t\t\t\t\t\t\t\t<\/div>\n\t\t\t\t<\/div>\n\t\t\t\t<div class=\"elementor-element elementor-element-7058609 elementor-align-center elementor-mobile-align-center elementor-widget elementor-widget-button\" data-id=\"7058609\" data-element_type=\"widget\" data-e-type=\"widget\" data-widget_type=\"button.default\">\n\t\t\t\t<div class=\"elementor-widget-container\">\n\t\t\t\t\t\t\t\t\t<div class=\"elementor-button-wrapper\">\n\t\t\t\t\t<a class=\"elementor-button elementor-button-link elementor-size-md\" href=\"https:\/\/sandykaufmann.ch\/en\/opening-up-to-love\/\">\n\t\t\t\t\t\t<span class=\"elementor-button-content-wrapper\">\n\t\t\t\t\t\t\t\t\t<span class=\"elementor-button-text\">Opening to LOVE<\/span>\n\t\t\t\t\t<\/span>\n\t\t\t\t\t<\/a>\n\t\t\t\t<\/div>\n\t\t\t\t\t\t\t\t<\/div>\n\t\t\t\t<\/div>\n\t\t\t\t\t<\/div>\n\t\t<\/div>\n\t\t\t\t\t<\/div>\n\t\t<\/section>\n\t\t\t\t<section class=\"elementor-section elementor-top-section elementor-element elementor-element-f3005e1 elementor-hidden-desktop elementor-hidden-tablet elementor-hidden-mobile elementor-section-boxed elementor-section-height-default elementor-section-height-default\" data-id=\"f3005e1\" data-element_type=\"section\" data-e-type=\"section\">\n\t\t\t\t\t\t<div class=\"elementor-container elementor-column-gap-default\">\n\t\t\t\t\t<div class=\"elementor-column elementor-col-100 elementor-top-column elementor-element elementor-element-4005ea57\" data-id=\"4005ea57\" data-element_type=\"column\" data-e-type=\"column\">\n\t\t\t<div class=\"elementor-widget-wrap elementor-element-populated\">\n\t\t\t\t\t\t<div class=\"elementor-element elementor-element-7cea4db1 elementor-widget elementor-widget-heading\" data-id=\"7cea4db1\" data-element_type=\"widget\" data-e-type=\"widget\" data-widget_type=\"heading.default\">\n\t\t\t\t<div class=\"elementor-widget-container\">\n\t\t\t\t\t<h2 class=\"elementor-heading-title elementor-size-default\"><span class=\"ez-toc-section\" id=\"Going_further\"><\/span>Going further<span class=\"ez-toc-section-end\"><\/span><\/h2>\t\t\t\t<\/div>\n\t\t\t\t<\/div>\n\t\t\t\t<div class=\"elementor-element elementor-element-1061088e elementor-widget elementor-widget-text-editor\" data-id=\"1061088e\" data-element_type=\"widget\" data-e-type=\"widget\" data-widget_type=\"text-editor.default\">\n\t\t\t\t<div class=\"elementor-widget-container\">\n\t\t\t\t\t\t\t\t\t<p>Si tu as envie d\u2019approfondir le sujet et de comprendre pourquoi vos discussions tournent en rond, tu as mon livre <a href=\"https:\/\/sandykaufmann.ch\/fr\/livre-les-couples-heureux-osent-aborder-les-sujets-qui-fachent\/\">Les couples heureux&#8230;osent aborder les sujets qui f\u00e2chent<\/a> disponible dans toutes les librairies.<\/p>\t\t\t\t\t\t\t\t<\/div>\n\t\t\t\t<\/div>\n\t\t\t\t\t<\/div>\n\t\t<\/div>\n\t\t\t\t\t<\/div>\n\t\t<\/section>\n\t\t\t\t<section class=\"elementor-section elementor-top-section elementor-element elementor-element-cee4b3f elementor-section-height-min-height elementor-section-content-middle elementor-hidden-desktop elementor-hidden-tablet elementor-hidden-mobile elementor-section-boxed elementor-section-height-default elementor-section-items-middle\" data-id=\"cee4b3f\" data-element_type=\"section\" data-e-type=\"section\" data-settings=\"{&quot;background_background&quot;:&quot;classic&quot;}\">\n\t\t\t\t\t\t<div class=\"elementor-container elementor-column-gap-no\">\n\t\t\t\t\t<div class=\"elementor-column elementor-col-100 elementor-top-column elementor-element elementor-element-34658178\" data-id=\"34658178\" data-element_type=\"column\" data-e-type=\"column\">\n\t\t\t<div class=\"elementor-widget-wrap elementor-element-populated\">\n\t\t\t\t\t\t<section class=\"elementor-section elementor-inner-section elementor-element elementor-element-5da0cbf2 elementor-section-boxed elementor-section-height-default elementor-section-height-default\" data-id=\"5da0cbf2\" data-element_type=\"section\" data-e-type=\"section\">\n\t\t\t\t\t\t<div class=\"elementor-container elementor-column-gap-default\">\n\t\t\t\t\t<div class=\"elementor-column elementor-col-50 elementor-inner-column elementor-element elementor-element-8b4d038\" data-id=\"8b4d038\" data-element_type=\"column\" data-e-type=\"column\">\n\t\t\t<div class=\"elementor-widget-wrap elementor-element-populated\">\n\t\t\t\t\t\t<div class=\"elementor-element elementor-element-37afd402 elementor-widget elementor-widget-image\" data-id=\"37afd402\" data-element_type=\"widget\" data-e-type=\"widget\" data-widget_type=\"image.default\">\n\t\t\t\t<div class=\"elementor-widget-container\">\n\t\t\t\t\t\t\t\t\t\t\t\t\t\t\t<img fetchpriority=\"high\" decoding=\"async\" width=\"1771\" height=\"1535\" src=\"https:\/\/sandykaufmann.ch\/wp-content\/uploads\/2026\/03\/Mockup_livre-1.png\" class=\"attachment-2048x2048 size-2048x2048 wp-image-1081512\" alt=\"\" srcset=\"https:\/\/sandykaufmann.ch\/wp-content\/uploads\/2026\/03\/Mockup_livre-1.png 1771w, https:\/\/sandykaufmann.ch\/wp-content\/uploads\/2026\/03\/Mockup_livre-1-300x260.png 300w, https:\/\/sandykaufmann.ch\/wp-content\/uploads\/2026\/03\/Mockup_livre-1-1024x888.png 1024w, https:\/\/sandykaufmann.ch\/wp-content\/uploads\/2026\/03\/Mockup_livre-1-768x666.png 768w, https:\/\/sandykaufmann.ch\/wp-content\/uploads\/2026\/03\/Mockup_livre-1-1536x1331.png 1536w, https:\/\/sandykaufmann.ch\/wp-content\/uploads\/2026\/03\/Mockup_livre-1-600x520.png 600w\" sizes=\"(max-width: 1771px) 100vw, 1771px\" \/>\t\t\t\t\t\t\t\t\t\t\t\t\t\t\t<\/div>\n\t\t\t\t<\/div>\n\t\t\t\t\t<\/div>\n\t\t<\/div>\n\t\t\t\t<div class=\"elementor-column elementor-col-50 elementor-inner-column elementor-element elementor-element-7e5f546f\" data-id=\"7e5f546f\" data-element_type=\"column\" data-e-type=\"column\">\n\t\t\t<div class=\"elementor-widget-wrap elementor-element-populated\">\n\t\t\t\t\t\t<div class=\"elementor-element elementor-element-23dff285 elementor-widget elementor-widget-heading\" data-id=\"23dff285\" data-element_type=\"widget\" data-e-type=\"widget\" data-widget_type=\"heading.default\">\n\t\t\t\t<div class=\"elementor-widget-container\">\n\t\t\t\t\t<p class=\"elementor-heading-title elementor-size-large\">Contrairement aux id\u00e9es re\u00e7ues, les couples qui durent ne sont pas ceux qui \u00e9vitent les conflits mais qui savent les traverser.\nLe livre <i><b>Les couples heureux..osent aborder les sujets qui f\u00e2chent<\/b><\/i> t'explique comment transformer vos tensions en connexion en 5 \u00e9tapes!<\/p>\t\t\t\t<\/div>\n\t\t\t\t<\/div>\n\t\t\t\t\t<\/div>\n\t\t<\/div>\n\t\t\t\t\t<\/div>\n\t\t<\/section>\n\t\t\t\t\t<\/div>\n\t\t<\/div>\n\t\t\t\t\t<\/div>\n\t\t<\/section>\n\t\t\t\t<section class=\"elementor-section elementor-top-section elementor-element elementor-element-415fa9ec elementor-section-boxed elementor-section-height-default elementor-section-height-default\" data-id=\"415fa9ec\" data-element_type=\"section\" data-e-type=\"section\">\n\t\t\t\t\t\t<div class=\"elementor-container elementor-column-gap-default\">\n\t\t\t\t\t<div class=\"elementor-column elementor-col-100 elementor-top-column elementor-element elementor-element-4a4b3950\" data-id=\"4a4b3950\" data-element_type=\"column\" data-e-type=\"column\">\n\t\t\t<div class=\"elementor-widget-wrap elementor-element-populated\">\n\t\t\t\t\t\t<div class=\"elementor-element elementor-element-77bb093 elementor-widget elementor-widget-heading\" data-id=\"77bb093\" data-element_type=\"widget\" data-e-type=\"widget\" data-widget_type=\"heading.default\">\n\t\t\t\t<div class=\"elementor-widget-container\">\n\t\t\t\t\t<h2 class=\"elementor-heading-title elementor-size-default\"><span class=\"ez-toc-section\" id=\"Going_further-2\"><\/span>Going further<span class=\"ez-toc-section-end\"><\/span><\/h2>\t\t\t\t<\/div>\n\t\t\t\t<\/div>\n\t\t\t\t<div class=\"elementor-element elementor-element-173f99fc elementor-widget elementor-widget-text-editor\" data-id=\"173f99fc\" data-element_type=\"widget\" data-e-type=\"widget\" data-widget_type=\"text-editor.default\">\n\t\t\t\t<div class=\"elementor-widget-container\">\n\t\t\t\t\t\t\t\t\t<p><img decoding=\"async\" class=\"emoji\" role=\"img\" draggable=\"false\" src=\"https:\/\/s.w.org\/images\/core\/emoji\/17.0.2\/svg\/1f33f.svg\" alt=\"\ud83c\udf3f\" \/> <a href=\"https:\/\/sandykaufmann.ch\/en\/cultivating-love\/\"><strong>CULTIVATING LOVE<\/strong><\/a><strong> \u2014 if you\u2019re in a relationship<\/strong><\/p><p>A <strong>5-month program<\/strong> to <strong>transform your relationship<\/strong>, rediscover connection, communication, and <strong>the joy of being together<\/strong> every day.<\/p><p>It includes modules you can complete at your own pace\u2014as a couple or on your own\u2014the option to receive confidential coaching via email, the option to add individual coaching sessions, as well as the <em>Day of the Past\u00a0<\/em>option to reset relationship patterns through the body if you feel that your inner child is playing a major role in your conflicts.<\/p>\t\t\t\t\t\t\t\t<\/div>\n\t\t\t\t<\/div>\n\t\t\t\t<div class=\"elementor-element elementor-element-1ae0f0cc elementor-align-center elementor-mobile-align-center elementor-widget elementor-widget-button\" data-id=\"1ae0f0cc\" data-element_type=\"widget\" data-e-type=\"widget\" data-widget_type=\"button.default\">\n\t\t\t\t<div class=\"elementor-widget-container\">\n\t\t\t\t\t\t\t\t\t<div class=\"elementor-button-wrapper\">\n\t\t\t\t\t<a class=\"elementor-button elementor-button-link elementor-size-md\" href=\"https:\/\/sandykaufmann.ch\/en\/cultivating-love\/\">\n\t\t\t\t\t\t<span class=\"elementor-button-content-wrapper\">\n\t\t\t\t\t\t\t\t\t<span class=\"elementor-button-text\">CULTIVATING LOVE<\/span>\n\t\t\t\t\t<\/span>\n\t\t\t\t\t<\/a>\n\t\t\t\t<\/div>\n\t\t\t\t\t\t\t\t<\/div>\n\t\t\t\t<\/div>\n\t\t\t\t<div class=\"elementor-element elementor-element-56968e19 elementor-widget elementor-widget-spacer\" data-id=\"56968e19\" data-element_type=\"widget\" data-e-type=\"widget\" data-widget_type=\"spacer.default\">\n\t\t\t\t<div class=\"elementor-widget-container\">\n\t\t\t\t\t\t\t<div class=\"elementor-spacer\">\n\t\t\t<div class=\"elementor-spacer-inner\"><\/div>\n\t\t<\/div>\n\t\t\t\t\t\t<\/div>\n\t\t\t\t<\/div>\n\t\t\t\t\t<\/div>\n\t\t<\/div>\n\t\t\t\t\t<\/div>\n\t\t<\/section>\n\t\t\t\t<section class=\"elementor-section elementor-top-section elementor-element elementor-element-1b94a3e7 elementor-section-boxed elementor-section-height-default elementor-section-height-default\" data-id=\"1b94a3e7\" data-element_type=\"section\" data-e-type=\"section\">\n\t\t\t\t\t\t<div class=\"elementor-container elementor-column-gap-default\">\n\t\t\t\t\t<div class=\"elementor-column elementor-col-100 elementor-top-column elementor-element elementor-element-7352348a\" data-id=\"7352348a\" data-element_type=\"column\" data-e-type=\"column\">\n\t\t\t<div class=\"elementor-widget-wrap elementor-element-populated\">\n\t\t\t\t\t\t<div class=\"elementor-element elementor-element-2c1e3f56 elementor-widget elementor-widget-text-editor\" data-id=\"2c1e3f56\" data-element_type=\"widget\" data-e-type=\"widget\" data-widget_type=\"text-editor.default\">\n\t\t\t\t<div class=\"elementor-widget-container\">\n\t\t\t\t\t\t\t\t\t<p>\n<div id=\"sb_instagram\"  class=\"sbi sbi_mob_col_1 sbi_tab_col_2 sbi_col_6\" style=\"padding-bottom: 10px; background-color: rgb(255,255,255); width: 100%;\"\t data-feedid=\"sbi_17841411036917986#6\"  data-res=\"thumb\" data-cols=\"6\" data-colsmobile=\"1\" data-colstablet=\"2\" data-num=\"6\" data-nummobile=\"\" data-item-padding=\"5\"\t data-shortcode-atts=\"{}\"  data-postid=\"1206742\" data-locatornonce=\"3de2e53bd4\" data-imageaspectratio=\"1:1\" data-sbi-flags=\"favorLocal,ajaxPostLoad,gdpr\">\n\t\n\t<div id=\"sbi_images\"  style=\"gap: 10px;\">\n\t\t\t<\/div>\n\n\t<div id=\"sbi_load\" >\n\n\t\n\t\n<\/div>\n\t\t<span class=\"sbi_resized_image_data\" data-feed-id=\"sbi_17841411036917986#6\"\n\t\t  data-resized=\"{&quot;17996652423041715&quot;:{&quot;id&quot;:&quot;842055907_1756654185452408_3577338743716706476_n&quot;,&quot;ratio&quot;:&quot;0.56&quot;,&quot;sizes&quot;:{&quot;full&quot;:640,&quot;low&quot;:320,&quot;thumb&quot;:150},&quot;extension&quot;:&quot;.jpg&quot;},&quot;18119242282766517&quot;:{&quot;id&quot;:&quot;844301984_908705618845744_6094411527707866428_n&quot;,&quot;ratio&quot;:&quot;0.56&quot;,&quot;sizes&quot;:{&quot;full&quot;:640,&quot;low&quot;:320,&quot;thumb&quot;:150},&quot;extension&quot;:&quot;.jpg&quot;},&quot;18119589808986397&quot;:{&quot;id&quot;:&quot;850521212_2281769375952365_8441432514868573758_n&quot;,&quot;ratio&quot;:&quot;0.56&quot;,&quot;sizes&quot;:{&quot;full&quot;:640,&quot;low&quot;:320,&quot;thumb&quot;:150},&quot;extension&quot;:&quot;.jpg&quot;},&quot;18132030832761438&quot;:{&quot;id&quot;:&quot;856681121_18209148886367898_2042971822664652273_n&quot;,&quot;ratio&quot;:&quot;0.78&quot;,&quot;sizes&quot;:{&quot;full&quot;:640,&quot;low&quot;:320,&quot;thumb&quot;:150},&quot;extension&quot;:&quot;.jpg&quot;},&quot;18118016777519826&quot;:{&quot;id&quot;:&quot;855211488_18209257804367898_2707775799257534615_n&quot;,&quot;ratio&quot;:&quot;0.56&quot;,&quot;sizes&quot;:{&quot;full&quot;:640,&quot;low&quot;:320,&quot;thumb&quot;:150},&quot;extension&quot;:&quot;.jpg&quot;},&quot;17962968867246866&quot;:{&quot;id&quot;:&quot;862863024_18209407003367898_568550170244515627_n&quot;,&quot;ratio&quot;:&quot;0.80&quot;,&quot;sizes&quot;:{&quot;full&quot;:640,&quot;low&quot;:320,&quot;thumb&quot;:150},&quot;extension&quot;:&quot;.jpg&quot;}}\">\n\t<\/span>\n\t<\/div>\n\n<\/p>\n\t\t\t\t\t\t\t\t<\/div>\n\t\t\t\t<\/div>\n\t\t\t\t\t<\/div>\n\t\t<\/div>\n\t\t\t\t\t<\/div>\n\t\t<\/section>\n\t\t\t\t<section class=\"elementor-section elementor-top-section elementor-element elementor-element-192d5350 elementor-section-full_width elementor-section-height-default elementor-section-height-default\" data-id=\"192d5350\" data-element_type=\"section\" data-e-type=\"section\" data-settings=\"{&quot;background_background&quot;:&quot;classic&quot;}\">\n\t\t\t\t\t\t<div class=\"elementor-container elementor-column-gap-no\">\n\t\t\t\t\t<div class=\"elementor-column elementor-col-100 elementor-top-column elementor-element elementor-element-27638fca\" data-id=\"27638fca\" data-element_type=\"column\" data-e-type=\"column\">\n\t\t\t<div class=\"elementor-widget-wrap elementor-element-populated\">\n\t\t\t\t\t\t<section class=\"elementor-section elementor-inner-section elementor-element elementor-element-6a33f3f0 elementor-section-content-bottom elementor-section-boxed elementor-section-height-default elementor-section-height-default\" data-id=\"6a33f3f0\" data-element_type=\"section\" data-e-type=\"section\" data-settings=\"{&quot;background_background&quot;:&quot;classic&quot;}\">\n\t\t\t\t\t\t<div class=\"elementor-container elementor-column-gap-default\">\n\t\t\t\t\t<div class=\"elementor-column elementor-col-100 elementor-inner-column elementor-element elementor-element-26b79d16\" data-id=\"26b79d16\" data-element_type=\"column\" data-e-type=\"column\">\n\t\t\t<div class=\"elementor-widget-wrap elementor-element-populated\">\n\t\t\t\t\t\t<div class=\"elementor-element elementor-element-36e9f98a elementor-widget elementor-widget-spacer\" data-id=\"36e9f98a\" data-element_type=\"widget\" data-e-type=\"widget\" data-widget_type=\"spacer.default\">\n\t\t\t\t<div class=\"elementor-widget-container\">\n\t\t\t\t\t\t\t<div class=\"elementor-spacer\">\n\t\t\t<div class=\"elementor-spacer-inner\"><\/div>\n\t\t<\/div>\n\t\t\t\t\t\t<\/div>\n\t\t\t\t<\/div>\n\t\t\t\t\t<\/div>\n\t\t<\/div>\n\t\t\t\t\t<\/div>\n\t\t<\/section>\n\t\t\t\t<section class=\"elementor-section elementor-inner-section elementor-element elementor-element-264e66ef elementor-section-boxed elementor-section-height-default elementor-section-height-default\" data-id=\"264e66ef\" data-element_type=\"section\" data-e-type=\"section\">\n\t\t\t\t\t\t<div class=\"elementor-container elementor-column-gap-default\">\n\t\t\t\t\t<div class=\"elementor-column elementor-col-50 elementor-inner-column elementor-element elementor-element-67adc1c6\" data-id=\"67adc1c6\" data-element_type=\"column\" data-e-type=\"column\" data-settings=\"{&quot;background_background&quot;:&quot;classic&quot;}\">\n\t\t\t<div class=\"elementor-widget-wrap elementor-element-populated\">\n\t\t\t\t\t\t<div class=\"elementor-element elementor-element-5c82589d elementor-invisible elementor-widget elementor-widget-heading\" data-id=\"5c82589d\" data-element_type=\"widget\" data-e-type=\"widget\" data-settings=\"{&quot;_animation&quot;:&quot;fadeInLeft&quot;}\" data-widget_type=\"heading.default\">\n\t\t\t\t<div class=\"elementor-widget-container\">\n\t\t\t\t\t<p class=\"elementor-heading-title elementor-size-large\">Sandy Kaufmann\n<\/p>\t\t\t\t<\/div>\n\t\t\t\t<\/div>\n\t\t\t\t<div class=\"elementor-element elementor-element-5d1437df elementor-widget elementor-widget-text-editor\" data-id=\"5d1437df\" data-element_type=\"widget\" data-e-type=\"widget\" data-widget_type=\"text-editor.default\">\n\t\t\t\t<div class=\"elementor-widget-container\">\n\t\t\t\t\t\t\t\t\t<p><span style=\"color: #000000; font-size: large;\"><span style=\"caret-color: #000000;\">is a somatic therapist and coach, based in Switzerland. She is the author of two books published by \u00c9ditions Eyrolles and has accompanied more than 600 people. She is the creator of the Somatic Deprogramming method and hosts the podcast \u201c<a href=\"https:\/\/sandykaufmann.ch\/en\/blog\/\">S&#8217;ouvrir \u00e0 l&#8217;amour<\/a>\u201d, ranked in the French top 50 in the relationships category.<\/span><\/span><\/p>\t\t\t\t\t\t\t\t<\/div>\n\t\t\t\t<\/div>\n\t\t\t\t\t<\/div>\n\t\t<\/div>\n\t\t\t\t<div class=\"elementor-column elementor-col-50 elementor-inner-column elementor-element elementor-element-345786f0\" data-id=\"345786f0\" data-element_type=\"column\" data-e-type=\"column\">\n\t\t\t<div class=\"elementor-widget-wrap\">\n\t\t\t\t\t\t\t<\/div>\n\t\t<\/div>\n\t\t\t\t\t<\/div>\n\t\t<\/section>\n\t\t\t\t\t<\/div>\n\t\t<\/div>\n\t\t\t\t\t<\/div>\n\t\t<\/section>\n\t\t\t\t<section class=\"elementor-section elementor-top-section elementor-element elementor-element-28ccf24 elementor-section-full_width elementor-section-height-min-height elementor-section-items-stretch elementor-section-content-middle elementor-section-height-default\" data-id=\"28ccf24\" data-element_type=\"section\" data-e-type=\"section\">\n\t\t\t\t\t\t<div class=\"elementor-container elementor-column-gap-default\">\n\t\t\t\t\t<div class=\"elementor-column elementor-col-50 elementor-top-column elementor-element elementor-element-9924bc0\" data-id=\"9924bc0\" data-element_type=\"column\" data-e-type=\"column\" data-settings=\"{&quot;background_background&quot;:&quot;classic&quot;}\">\n\t\t\t<div class=\"elementor-widget-wrap elementor-element-populated\">\n\t\t\t\t\t\t<section class=\"elementor-section elementor-inner-section elementor-element elementor-element-2aa4953 elementor-section-height-default elementor-section-boxed elementor-section-height-default\" data-id=\"2aa4953\" data-element_type=\"section\" data-e-type=\"section\">\n\t\t\t\t\t\t<div class=\"elementor-container elementor-column-gap-default\">\n\t\t\t\t\t<div class=\"elementor-column elementor-col-20 elementor-inner-column elementor-element elementor-element-b5b14a0 elementor-sm-33\" data-id=\"b5b14a0\" data-element_type=\"column\" data-e-type=\"column\">\n\t\t\t<div class=\"elementor-widget-wrap elementor-element-populated\">\n\t\t\t\t\t\t<div class=\"elementor-element elementor-element-74f327d elementor-view-default elementor-widget elementor-widget-icon\" data-id=\"74f327d\" data-element_type=\"widget\" data-e-type=\"widget\" data-widget_type=\"icon.default\">\n\t\t\t\t<div class=\"elementor-widget-container\">\n\t\t\t\t\t\t\t<div class=\"elementor-icon-wrapper\">\n\t\t\t<a class=\"elementor-icon\" href=\"https:\/\/www.facebook.com\/sandykaufmanncoaching\/\" target=\"_blank\" rel=\"noopener\">\n\t\t\t<i aria-hidden=\"true\" class=\"fab fa-facebook-f\"><\/i>\t\t\t<\/a>\n\t\t<\/div>\n\t\t\t\t\t\t<\/div>\n\t\t\t\t<\/div>\n\t\t\t\t<div class=\"elementor-element elementor-element-25aebdc elementor-widget elementor-widget-heading\" data-id=\"25aebdc\" data-element_type=\"widget\" data-e-type=\"widget\" data-widget_type=\"heading.default\">\n\t\t\t\t<div class=\"elementor-widget-container\">\n\t\t\t\t\t<p class=\"elementor-heading-title elementor-size-large\"><a href=\"https:\/\/www.facebook.com\/sandykaufmanncoaching\/\" target=\"_blank\" rel=\"noopener\">Facebook<\/a><\/p>\t\t\t\t<\/div>\n\t\t\t\t<\/div>\n\t\t\t\t\t<\/div>\n\t\t<\/div>\n\t\t\t\t<div class=\"elementor-column elementor-col-20 elementor-inner-column elementor-element elementor-element-17a3cc8 elementor-sm-33\" data-id=\"17a3cc8\" data-element_type=\"column\" data-e-type=\"column\">\n\t\t\t<div class=\"elementor-widget-wrap elementor-element-populated\">\n\t\t\t\t\t\t<div class=\"elementor-element elementor-element-7b4c8e9 elementor-view-default elementor-widget elementor-widget-icon\" data-id=\"7b4c8e9\" data-element_type=\"widget\" data-e-type=\"widget\" data-widget_type=\"icon.default\">\n\t\t\t\t<div class=\"elementor-widget-container\">\n\t\t\t\t\t\t\t<div class=\"elementor-icon-wrapper\">\n\t\t\t<a class=\"elementor-icon\" href=\"https:\/\/www.instagram.com\/sandykaufmann_lovecoach\/\" target=\"_blank\" rel=\"noopener\">\n\t\t\t<i aria-hidden=\"true\" class=\"fab fa-instagram\"><\/i>\t\t\t<\/a>\n\t\t<\/div>\n\t\t\t\t\t\t<\/div>\n\t\t\t\t<\/div>\n\t\t\t\t<div class=\"elementor-element elementor-element-0cd920c elementor-widget elementor-widget-heading\" data-id=\"0cd920c\" data-element_type=\"widget\" data-e-type=\"widget\" data-widget_type=\"heading.default\">\n\t\t\t\t<div class=\"elementor-widget-container\">\n\t\t\t\t\t<p class=\"elementor-heading-title elementor-size-large\"><a href=\"https:\/\/www.instagram.com\/sandykaufmann_lovecoach\/\" target=\"_blank\" rel=\"noopener\">Instagram<\/a><\/p>\t\t\t\t<\/div>\n\t\t\t\t<\/div>\n\t\t\t\t\t<\/div>\n\t\t<\/div>\n\t\t\t\t<div class=\"elementor-column elementor-col-20 elementor-inner-column elementor-element elementor-element-e5a6a52 elementor-sm-33\" data-id=\"e5a6a52\" data-element_type=\"column\" data-e-type=\"column\">\n\t\t\t<div class=\"elementor-widget-wrap elementor-element-populated\">\n\t\t\t\t\t\t<div class=\"elementor-element elementor-element-5d89d96 elementor-view-default elementor-widget elementor-widget-icon\" data-id=\"5d89d96\" data-element_type=\"widget\" data-e-type=\"widget\" data-widget_type=\"icon.default\">\n\t\t\t\t<div class=\"elementor-widget-container\">\n\t\t\t\t\t\t\t<div class=\"elementor-icon-wrapper\">\n\t\t\t<a class=\"elementor-icon\" href=\"https:\/\/www.youtube.com\/channel\/UCK-hi3HapAMgqRQ268Ode-A?\" target=\"_blank\" rel=\"noopener\">\n\t\t\t<i aria-hidden=\"true\" class=\"fab fa-youtube\"><\/i>\t\t\t<\/a>\n\t\t<\/div>\n\t\t\t\t\t\t<\/div>\n\t\t\t\t<\/div>\n\t\t\t\t<div class=\"elementor-element elementor-element-fd00d08 elementor-widget elementor-widget-heading\" data-id=\"fd00d08\" data-element_type=\"widget\" data-e-type=\"widget\" data-widget_type=\"heading.default\">\n\t\t\t\t<div class=\"elementor-widget-container\">\n\t\t\t\t\t<p class=\"elementor-heading-title elementor-size-large\"><a href=\"https:\/\/www.youtube.com\/channel\/UCK-hi3HapAMgqRQ268Ode-A?\" target=\"_blank\" rel=\"noopener\">Youtube<\/a><\/p>\t\t\t\t<\/div>\n\t\t\t\t<\/div>\n\t\t\t\t\t<\/div>\n\t\t<\/div>\n\t\t\t\t<div class=\"elementor-column elementor-col-20 elementor-inner-column elementor-element elementor-element-10f17d0 elementor-sm-33\" data-id=\"10f17d0\" data-element_type=\"column\" data-e-type=\"column\">\n\t\t\t<div class=\"elementor-widget-wrap elementor-element-populated\">\n\t\t\t\t\t\t<div class=\"elementor-element elementor-element-29e6881 elementor-view-default elementor-widget elementor-widget-icon\" data-id=\"29e6881\" data-element_type=\"widget\" data-e-type=\"widget\" data-widget_type=\"icon.default\">\n\t\t\t\t<div class=\"elementor-widget-container\">\n\t\t\t\t\t\t\t<div class=\"elementor-icon-wrapper\">\n\t\t\t<a class=\"elementor-icon\" href=\"http:\/\/podcasts.apple.com\/fr\/podcast\/souvrir-%C3%A0-lamour\/id1594692189?l=en\" target=\"_blank\" rel=\"noopener\">\n\t\t\t<i aria-hidden=\"true\" class=\"fas fa-podcast\"><\/i>\t\t\t<\/a>\n\t\t<\/div>\n\t\t\t\t\t\t<\/div>\n\t\t\t\t<\/div>\n\t\t\t\t<div class=\"elementor-element elementor-element-c51ee7f elementor-widget elementor-widget-heading\" data-id=\"c51ee7f\" data-element_type=\"widget\" data-e-type=\"widget\" data-widget_type=\"heading.default\">\n\t\t\t\t<div class=\"elementor-widget-container\">\n\t\t\t\t\t<p class=\"elementor-heading-title elementor-size-large\"><a href=\"http:\/\/podcasts.apple.com\/fr\/podcast\/souvrir-%C3%A0-lamour\/id1594692189?l=en\" target=\"_blank\" rel=\"noopener\">Apple<\/a><\/p>\t\t\t\t<\/div>\n\t\t\t\t<\/div>\n\t\t\t\t\t<\/div>\n\t\t<\/div>\n\t\t\t\t<div class=\"elementor-column elementor-col-20 elementor-inner-column elementor-element elementor-element-ba4328a elementor-sm-33\" data-id=\"ba4328a\" data-element_type=\"column\" data-e-type=\"column\">\n\t\t\t<div class=\"elementor-widget-wrap elementor-element-populated\">\n\t\t\t\t\t\t<div class=\"elementor-element elementor-element-8b4fdfe elementor-view-default elementor-widget elementor-widget-icon\" data-id=\"8b4fdfe\" data-element_type=\"widget\" data-e-type=\"widget\" data-widget_type=\"icon.default\">\n\t\t\t\t<div class=\"elementor-widget-container\">\n\t\t\t\t\t\t\t<div class=\"elementor-icon-wrapper\">\n\t\t\t<a class=\"elementor-icon\" href=\"http:\/\/open.spotify.com\/show\/5Wz6EFR37F8Yqmzhmy0RMP\" target=\"_blank\" rel=\"noopener\">\n\t\t\t<i aria-hidden=\"true\" class=\"fab fa-spotify\"><\/i>\t\t\t<\/a>\n\t\t<\/div>\n\t\t\t\t\t\t<\/div>\n\t\t\t\t<\/div>\n\t\t\t\t<div class=\"elementor-element elementor-element-19c4b25 elementor-widget elementor-widget-heading\" data-id=\"19c4b25\" data-element_type=\"widget\" data-e-type=\"widget\" data-widget_type=\"heading.default\">\n\t\t\t\t<div class=\"elementor-widget-container\">\n\t\t\t\t\t<p 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Influence the Outcome of the Conflict<\/a><\/li><li class='ez-toc-page-1 ez-toc-heading-level-2'><a class=\"ez-toc-link ez-toc-heading-4\" href=\"https:\/\/sandykaufmann.ch\/en\/131-arguing-well-how-to-turn-conflict-into-connection\/#The_Secret_to_Constructive_Conflict_Is_the_5_1_Ratio\" >The Secret to Constructive Conflict Is the 5:1 Ratio<\/a><\/li><li class='ez-toc-page-1 ez-toc-heading-level-2'><a class=\"ez-toc-link ez-toc-heading-5\" href=\"https:\/\/sandykaufmann.ch\/en\/131-arguing-well-how-to-turn-conflict-into-connection\/#FREE_Webinar_%22HOW_TO_FREE_OURSELVES_FROM_THE_PATTERNS_THAT_PREVENT_US_FROM_BEING_HAPPY_IN_LOVE%22-2\" >FREE Webinar \n\"HOW TO FREE OURSELVES FROM THE PATTERNS THAT PREVENT US FROM BEING HAPPY IN LOVE?\"<\/a><\/li><li class='ez-toc-page-1 ez-toc-heading-level-2'><a class=\"ez-toc-link ez-toc-heading-6\" href=\"https:\/\/sandykaufmann.ch\/en\/131-arguing-well-how-to-turn-conflict-into-connection\/#5_Tips_for_a_Healthy_Constructive_Conflict\" >5 Tips for a Healthy, Constructive Conflict<\/a><\/li><li class='ez-toc-page-1 ez-toc-heading-level-2'><a class=\"ez-toc-link ez-toc-heading-7\" href=\"https:\/\/sandykaufmann.ch\/en\/131-arguing-well-how-to-turn-conflict-into-connection\/#Going_further\" >Going further<\/a><\/li><li class='ez-toc-page-1 ez-toc-heading-level-2'><a class=\"ez-toc-link ez-toc-heading-8\" href=\"https:\/\/sandykaufmann.ch\/en\/131-arguing-well-how-to-turn-conflict-into-connection\/#Going_further-2\" >Going further<\/a><\/li><\/ul><\/nav><\/div>\n","protected":false},"excerpt":{"rendered":"<p>Arguing Well: How to Turn Conflict into Connection Are you tired of constantly arguing about the same topics with your partner? Do you feel like every disagreement pushes you further and further apart from one another? Or have you realized that, in the end, the way you go into conflict isn&#8217;t the best one: either [&hellip;]<\/p>\n","protected":false},"author":1,"featured_media":0,"comment_status":"closed","ping_status":"closed","sticky":false,"template":"elementor_header_footer","format":"standard","meta":{"ocean_post_layout":"full-screen","ocean_both_sidebars_style":"","ocean_both_sidebars_content_width":0,"ocean_both_sidebars_sidebars_width":0,"ocean_sidebar":"0","ocean_second_sidebar":"0","ocean_disable_margins":"enable","ocean_add_body_class":"","ocean_shortcode_before_top_bar":"","ocean_shortcode_after_top_bar":"","ocean_shortcode_before_header":"","ocean_shortcode_after_header":"","ocean_has_shortcode":"","ocean_shortcode_after_title":"","ocean_shortcode_before_footer_widgets":"","ocean_shortcode_after_footer_widgets":"","ocean_shortcode_before_footer_bottom":"","ocean_shortcode_after_footer_bottom":"","ocean_display_top_bar":"default","ocean_display_header":"default","ocean_header_style":"","ocean_center_header_left_menu":"0","ocean_custom_header_template":"0","ocean_custom_logo":0,"ocean_custom_retina_logo":0,"ocean_custom_logo_max_width":0,"ocean_custom_logo_tablet_max_width":0,"ocean_custom_logo_mobile_max_width":0,"ocean_custom_logo_max_height":0,"ocean_custom_logo_tablet_max_height":0,"ocean_custom_logo_mobile_max_height":0,"ocean_header_custom_menu":"0","ocean_menu_typo_font_family":"0","ocean_menu_typo_font_subset":"","ocean_menu_typo_font_size":0,"ocean_menu_typo_font_size_tablet":0,"ocean_menu_typo_font_size_mobile":0,"ocean_menu_typo_font_size_unit":"px","ocean_menu_typo_font_weight":"","ocean_menu_typo_font_weight_tablet":"","ocean_menu_typo_font_weight_mobile":"","ocean_menu_typo_transform":"","ocean_menu_typo_transform_tablet":"","ocean_menu_typo_transform_mobile":"","ocean_menu_typo_line_height":0,"ocean_menu_typo_line_height_tablet":0,"ocean_menu_typo_line_height_mobile":0,"ocean_menu_typo_line_height_unit":"","ocean_menu_typo_spacing":0,"ocean_menu_typo_spacing_tablet":0,"ocean_menu_typo_spacing_mobile":0,"ocean_menu_typo_spacing_unit":"","ocean_menu_link_color":"","ocean_menu_link_color_hover":"","ocean_menu_link_color_active":"","ocean_menu_link_background":"","ocean_menu_link_hover_background":"","ocean_menu_link_active_background":"","ocean_menu_social_links_bg":"","ocean_menu_social_hover_links_bg":"","ocean_menu_social_links_color":"","ocean_menu_social_hover_links_color":"","ocean_disable_title":"default","ocean_disable_heading":"default","ocean_post_title":"","ocean_post_subheading":"","ocean_post_title_style":"","ocean_post_title_background_color":"","ocean_post_title_background":0,"ocean_post_title_bg_image_position":"","ocean_post_title_bg_image_attachment":"","ocean_post_title_bg_image_repeat":"","ocean_post_title_bg_image_size":"","ocean_post_title_height":0,"ocean_post_title_bg_overlay":0.5,"ocean_post_title_bg_overlay_color":"","ocean_disable_breadcrumbs":"default","ocean_breadcrumbs_color":"","ocean_breadcrumbs_separator_color":"","ocean_breadcrumbs_links_color":"","ocean_breadcrumbs_links_hover_color":"","ocean_display_footer_widgets":"default","ocean_display_footer_bottom":"default","ocean_custom_footer_template":"0","ocean_post_oembed":"","ocean_post_self_hosted_media":"","ocean_post_video_embed":"","ocean_link_format":"","ocean_link_format_target":"self","ocean_quote_format":"","ocean_quote_format_link":"post","ocean_gallery_link_images":"on","ocean_gallery_id":[],"footnotes":""},"categories":[68],"tags":[],"class_list":["post-1206742","post","type-post","status-publish","format-standard","hentry","category-verhalten","entry","owp-thumbs-layout-horizontal","owp-btn-normal","owp-tabs-layout-horizontal","has-no-thumbnails"],"_links":{"self":[{"href":"https:\/\/sandykaufmann.ch\/en\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/posts\/1206742","targetHints":{"allow":["GET"]}}],"collection":[{"href":"https:\/\/sandykaufmann.ch\/en\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/posts"}],"about":[{"href":"https:\/\/sandykaufmann.ch\/en\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/types\/post"}],"author":[{"embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/sandykaufmann.ch\/en\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/users\/1"}],"replies":[{"embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/sandykaufmann.ch\/en\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/comments?post=1206742"}],"version-history":[{"count":8,"href":"https:\/\/sandykaufmann.ch\/en\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/posts\/1206742\/revisions"}],"predecessor-version":[{"id":1207121,"href":"https:\/\/sandykaufmann.ch\/en\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/posts\/1206742\/revisions\/1207121"}],"wp:attachment":[{"href":"https:\/\/sandykaufmann.ch\/en\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/media?parent=1206742"}],"wp:term":[{"taxonomy":"category","embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/sandykaufmann.ch\/en\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/categories?post=1206742"},{"taxonomy":"post_tag","embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/sandykaufmann.ch\/en\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/tags?post=1206742"}],"curies":[{"name":"wp","href":"https:\/\/api.w.org\/{rel}","templated":true}]}}