{"id":116072,"date":"2022-04-04T20:31:03","date_gmt":"2022-04-04T20:31:03","guid":{"rendered":"https:\/\/sandykaufmann.ch\/?p=116072"},"modified":"2025-10-07T08:32:25","modified_gmt":"2025-10-07T08:32:25","slug":"emotional-responsibility","status":"publish","type":"post","link":"https:\/\/sandykaufmann.ch\/en\/emotional-responsibility\/","title":{"rendered":"Emotional responsibility"},"content":{"rendered":"\t\t<div data-elementor-type=\"wp-post\" data-elementor-id=\"116072\" class=\"elementor elementor-116072 elementor-36395\" data-elementor-post-type=\"post\">\n\t\t\t\t\t\t<section class=\"elementor-section elementor-top-section elementor-element elementor-element-7ed86594 elementor-section-content-top elementor-section-full_width elementor-section-height-min-height elementor-section-items-bottom elementor-section-height-default\" data-id=\"7ed86594\" data-element_type=\"section\" data-e-type=\"section\" data-settings=\"{&quot;background_background&quot;:&quot;classic&quot;}\">\n\t\t\t\t\t\t<div class=\"elementor-container elementor-column-gap-default\">\n\t\t\t\t\t<div class=\"elementor-column elementor-col-100 elementor-top-column elementor-element elementor-element-6ea7bd98\" data-id=\"6ea7bd98\" data-element_type=\"column\" data-e-type=\"column\" data-settings=\"{&quot;background_background&quot;:&quot;classic&quot;}\">\n\t\t\t<div class=\"elementor-widget-wrap elementor-element-populated\">\n\t\t\t\t\t\t<div class=\"elementor-element elementor-element-3d639127 elementor-widget elementor-widget-heading\" data-id=\"3d639127\" data-element_type=\"widget\" data-e-type=\"widget\" data-widget_type=\"heading.default\">\n\t\t\t\t<div class=\"elementor-widget-container\">\n\t\t\t\t\t<p class=\"elementor-heading-title elementor-size-xl\">How to deal with your emotions<\/p>\t\t\t\t<\/div>\n\t\t\t\t<\/div>\n\t\t\t\t\t<\/div>\n\t\t<\/div>\n\t\t\t\t\t<\/div>\n\t\t<\/section>\n\t\t\t\t<section class=\"elementor-section elementor-top-section elementor-element elementor-element-62d37295 elementor-section-boxed elementor-section-height-default elementor-section-height-default\" data-id=\"62d37295\" data-element_type=\"section\" data-e-type=\"section\">\n\t\t\t\t\t\t<div class=\"elementor-container elementor-column-gap-default\">\n\t\t\t\t\t<div class=\"elementor-column elementor-col-100 elementor-top-column elementor-element elementor-element-4e162bd6\" data-id=\"4e162bd6\" data-element_type=\"column\" data-e-type=\"column\">\n\t\t\t<div class=\"elementor-widget-wrap elementor-element-populated\">\n\t\t\t\t\t\t<div class=\"elementor-element elementor-element-376509b elementor-widget elementor-widget-text-editor\" data-id=\"376509b\" data-element_type=\"widget\" data-e-type=\"widget\" data-widget_type=\"text-editor.default\">\n\t\t\t\t<div class=\"elementor-widget-container\">\n\t\t\t\t\t\t\t\t\t<div><style>\n    h2 {color: #d13523;<br \/>font-size: 34px;}<br \/>    h3 {color: #7A7A7A;<br \/>font-size: 34px;}<br \/>  <\/style><\/div><p>Your boyfriend&#8217;s actions make you angry.<\/p><p>You accumulate frustration after frustration in your relationship or with your children.<\/p><p>You get <a href=\"https:\/\/sandykaufmann.ch\/en\/he-doesnt-answer-me-and-im-anxious-what-can-i-do\/\">anxious<\/a> easily when your partner expresses doubts about the relationship.<\/p><p>And you think that all these emotions you feel are caused by the actions of others.<\/p><p>Well, it&#8217;s not the case!<\/p><p>I&#8217;ll tell you why in this article.<\/p>\t\t\t\t\t\t\t\t<\/div>\n\t\t\t\t<\/div>\n\t\t\t\t\t<\/div>\n\t\t<\/div>\n\t\t\t\t\t<\/div>\n\t\t<\/section>\n\t\t\t\t<section class=\"elementor-section elementor-top-section elementor-element elementor-element-b0f216f elementor-section-boxed elementor-section-height-default elementor-section-height-default\" data-id=\"b0f216f\" data-element_type=\"section\" data-e-type=\"section\">\n\t\t\t\t\t\t<div class=\"elementor-container elementor-column-gap-default\">\n\t\t\t\t\t<div class=\"elementor-column elementor-col-100 elementor-top-column elementor-element elementor-element-29e6d57\" data-id=\"29e6d57\" data-element_type=\"column\" data-e-type=\"column\">\n\t\t\t<div class=\"elementor-widget-wrap elementor-element-populated\">\n\t\t\t\t\t\t<div class=\"elementor-element elementor-element-a4680a4 elementor-widget elementor-widget-spacer\" data-id=\"a4680a4\" data-element_type=\"widget\" data-e-type=\"widget\" data-widget_type=\"spacer.default\">\n\t\t\t\t<div class=\"elementor-widget-container\">\n\t\t\t\t\t\t\t<div class=\"elementor-spacer\">\n\t\t\t<div class=\"elementor-spacer-inner\"><\/div>\n\t\t<\/div>\n\t\t\t\t\t\t<\/div>\n\t\t\t\t<\/div>\n\t\t\t\t<div class=\"elementor-element elementor-element-749e97a elementor-widget elementor-widget-text-editor\" data-id=\"749e97a\" data-element_type=\"widget\" data-e-type=\"widget\" data-widget_type=\"text-editor.default\">\n\t\t\t\t<div class=\"elementor-widget-container\">\n\t\t\t\t\t\t\t\t\t<div><style>\n    h2 {color: #d13523;<br \/>font-size: 34px;}<br \/>  <\/style><\/div><h2><span class=\"ez-toc-section\" id=\"You_are_100_responsible_for_your_emotions\"><\/span><strong>You are 100% responsible for your emotions<\/strong><span class=\"ez-toc-section-end\"><\/span><\/h2><p>Yes I know, it&#8217;s not easy to swallow.<\/p><p>Even if the person in front of you is behaving badly, it&#8217;s not what they do that will generate the emotions you feel, but what you think about the situation.<\/p><p>Let&#8217;s take the example of your partner who gets angry and says something nasty to you in the heat of the moment (let&#8217;s take the fact that he says you&#8217;re an idiot as an example, so that you can feel this inner emotional tension):<\/p><ul><li>If you think &#8216;what&#8217;s wrong with him, he doesn&#8217;t usually talk to me like that&#8217; or<\/li><li>If you think &#8216;he disrespects me&#8217;,<\/li><\/ul><p>you can see for yourself that you will not experience the same emotion.<\/p><p>This also explains why two people facing the same circumstances can feel totally different emotions.<\/p><p>This is also what can lead to misunderstandings in the couple, as partners do not understand each other&#8217;s emotional reaction (&#8220;she is so angry about this little thing&#8221;, &#8220;I don&#8217;t understand why he is so sensitive&#8221;).\u00a0<\/p><h2><span class=\"ez-toc-section\" id=\"Take_your_power_back\"><\/span><strong>Take your power back<\/strong><span class=\"ez-toc-section-end\"><\/span><\/h2><p>The good news is that no matter what the circumstances, you can decide what emotions you want to feel by working on your thoughts.<\/p><p>In other words, other people do not have the power to make you feel bad or good.<\/p><p>If you feel bad, it is because you have decided to feel that emotion, choosing what you want to think about the situation or you have decided not to act on the situation.<\/p><h2><span class=\"ez-toc-section\" id=\"All_your_emotions_are_your_friends\"><\/span><strong>All your emotions are your friends<\/strong><span class=\"ez-toc-section-end\"><\/span><\/h2><p>This does not mean that you should not feel uncomfortable emotions.<\/p><p>Whether they are comfortable or uncomfortable, emotions are there to convey a message to you:<\/p><ul><li>A thought that serves you or does not serve you<\/li><li>A need that you listen to or don&#8217;t listen to<\/li><li>A result that is achieved or not<\/li><li>A possibility to grow<\/li><li>A possibility to expand your field of possibilities<\/li><\/ul><p>Uncomfortable emotions help you move forward just as much as comfortable ones, because they can motivate you to change a situation that doesn&#8217;t suit you.<\/p><p>Taking back your power is simply taking responsibility for how you feel and what you decide to do with it.<\/p><h2><span class=\"ez-toc-section\" id=\"Welcome_your_emotions_first\"><\/span><strong>Welcome your emotions first<\/strong><span class=\"ez-toc-section-end\"><\/span><\/h2><p>Ideally, everyone would like to be able to take back their power in an instant.<\/p><p>It&#8217;s more often a learning process that starts with giving yourself the right to accept emotions for what they are, i.e. a physiological reaction of your body because<\/p><ul><li>refuse to feel the emotion<\/li><li>judging it<\/li><li>compensating for the emotion with false pleasure<\/li><\/ul><p>will only increase it.<\/p><p>Listen to this free meditation that will help you welcome this emotion without judgment.<\/p>\t\t\t\t\t\t\t\t<\/div>\n\t\t\t\t<\/div>\n\t\t\t\t\t<\/div>\n\t\t<\/div>\n\t\t\t\t\t<\/div>\n\t\t<\/section>\n\t\t\t\t<section class=\"elementor-section elementor-top-section elementor-element elementor-element-6ad992a elementor-section-full_width elementor-section-height-default elementor-section-height-default\" data-id=\"6ad992a\" data-element_type=\"section\" data-e-type=\"section\" data-settings=\"{&quot;background_background&quot;:&quot;classic&quot;}\">\n\t\t\t\t\t\t<div class=\"elementor-container elementor-column-gap-no\">\n\t\t\t\t\t<div class=\"elementor-column elementor-col-100 elementor-top-column elementor-element elementor-element-19027d75\" data-id=\"19027d75\" data-element_type=\"column\" data-e-type=\"column\">\n\t\t\t<div class=\"elementor-widget-wrap\">\n\t\t\t\t\t\t\t<\/div>\n\t\t<\/div>\n\t\t\t\t\t<\/div>\n\t\t<\/section>\n\t\t\t\t<section class=\"elementor-section elementor-top-section elementor-element elementor-element-fec815a elementor-section-boxed elementor-section-height-default elementor-section-height-default\" data-id=\"fec815a\" data-element_type=\"section\" data-e-type=\"section\">\n\t\t\t\t\t\t<div class=\"elementor-container elementor-column-gap-default\">\n\t\t\t\t\t<div class=\"elementor-column elementor-col-100 elementor-top-column elementor-element elementor-element-23dc17b\" data-id=\"23dc17b\" data-element_type=\"column\" data-e-type=\"column\">\n\t\t\t<div class=\"elementor-widget-wrap elementor-element-populated\">\n\t\t\t\t\t\t<div class=\"elementor-element elementor-element-1389d79 elementor-widget elementor-widget-text-editor\" data-id=\"1389d79\" data-element_type=\"widget\" data-e-type=\"widget\" data-widget_type=\"text-editor.default\">\n\t\t\t\t<div class=\"elementor-widget-container\">\n\t\t\t\t\t\t\t\t\t<div><style>\n    h2 {color: #d13523;<br \/>font-size: 34px;}<br \/>  <\/style><\/div><h2><span class=\"ez-toc-section\" id=\"i\"><\/span>\u00a0<span class=\"ez-toc-section-end\"><\/span><\/h2><h2><span class=\"ez-toc-section\" id=\"Then_consider_addressing_the_underlying_problem\"><\/span><strong>Then consider addressing the underlying problem<\/strong><span class=\"ez-toc-section-end\"><\/span><\/h2><p>What will really change your life is taking the time afterwards to be aware of what the message of your emotion is and then deciding how to respond to it:<\/p><ul><li>Is it rather a personal work on your thoughts that you need to do to remain more serene in the face of situations that you cannot change?<\/li><li>Or does the emotion you feel give you the message that there are things to change so that you feel more fulfilled in your relationship? If so, what can you change on your own and what do you need to discuss with your partner?<\/li><\/ul><p>Emotional responsibility is a core topic of my <a href=\"https:\/\/sandykaufmann.ch\/en\/individualcoaching\/\">Individual Coaching<\/a>, as it is a fundamental pillar for cultivating serene relationships.<\/p>\t\t\t\t\t\t\t\t<\/div>\n\t\t\t\t<\/div>\n\t\t\t\t\t<\/div>\n\t\t<\/div>\n\t\t\t\t\t<\/div>\n\t\t<\/section>\n\t\t\t\t<section class=\"elementor-section elementor-top-section elementor-element elementor-element-1a3b05fd elementor-section-boxed elementor-section-height-default elementor-section-height-default\" data-id=\"1a3b05fd\" data-element_type=\"section\" data-e-type=\"section\">\n\t\t\t\t\t\t<div class=\"elementor-container elementor-column-gap-default\">\n\t\t\t\t\t<div class=\"elementor-column elementor-col-100 elementor-top-column elementor-element elementor-element-2644797e\" data-id=\"2644797e\" data-element_type=\"column\" data-e-type=\"column\">\n\t\t\t<div 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elementor-widget elementor-widget-icon\" data-id=\"490a741\" data-element_type=\"widget\" data-e-type=\"widget\" data-widget_type=\"icon.default\">\n\t\t\t\t<div class=\"elementor-widget-container\">\n\t\t\t\t\t\t\t<div class=\"elementor-icon-wrapper\">\n\t\t\t<a class=\"elementor-icon\" href=\"http:\/\/podcasts.apple.com\/fr\/podcast\/souvrir-%C3%A0-lamour\/id1594692189?l=en\" target=\"_blank\" rel=\"noopener\">\n\t\t\t<i aria-hidden=\"true\" class=\"fas fa-podcast\"><\/i>\t\t\t<\/a>\n\t\t<\/div>\n\t\t\t\t\t\t<\/div>\n\t\t\t\t<\/div>\n\t\t\t\t<div class=\"elementor-element elementor-element-7c7028e elementor-widget elementor-widget-heading\" data-id=\"7c7028e\" data-element_type=\"widget\" data-e-type=\"widget\" data-widget_type=\"heading.default\">\n\t\t\t\t<div class=\"elementor-widget-container\">\n\t\t\t\t\t<p class=\"elementor-heading-title elementor-size-large\"><a href=\"http:\/\/podcasts.apple.com\/fr\/podcast\/souvrir-%C3%A0-lamour\/id1594692189?l=en\" target=\"_blank\" 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ez-toc-heading-2\" href=\"https:\/\/sandykaufmann.ch\/en\/emotional-responsibility\/#Take_your_power_back\" >Take your power back<\/a><\/li><li class='ez-toc-page-1 ez-toc-heading-level-2'><a class=\"ez-toc-link ez-toc-heading-3\" href=\"https:\/\/sandykaufmann.ch\/en\/emotional-responsibility\/#All_your_emotions_are_your_friends\" >All your emotions are your friends<\/a><\/li><li class='ez-toc-page-1 ez-toc-heading-level-2'><a class=\"ez-toc-link ez-toc-heading-4\" href=\"https:\/\/sandykaufmann.ch\/en\/emotional-responsibility\/#Welcome_your_emotions_first\" >Welcome your emotions first<\/a><\/li><li class='ez-toc-page-1 ez-toc-heading-level-2'><a class=\"ez-toc-link ez-toc-heading-5\" href=\"https:\/\/sandykaufmann.ch\/en\/emotional-responsibility\/#i\" >\u00a0<\/a><\/li><li class='ez-toc-page-1 ez-toc-heading-level-2'><a class=\"ez-toc-link ez-toc-heading-6\" href=\"https:\/\/sandykaufmann.ch\/en\/emotional-responsibility\/#Then_consider_addressing_the_underlying_problem\" >Then consider addressing the underlying problem<\/a><\/li><\/ul><\/nav><\/div>\n","protected":false},"excerpt":{"rendered":"<p>How to deal with your emotions Your boyfriend&#8217;s actions make you angry. You accumulate frustration after frustration in your relationship or with your children. You get anxious easily when your partner expresses doubts about the relationship. And you think that all these emotions you feel are caused by the actions of others. Well, it&#8217;s not [&hellip;]<\/p>\n","protected":false},"author":4,"featured_media":0,"comment_status":"closed","ping_status":"open","sticky":false,"template":"","format":"standard","meta":{"ocean_post_layout":"full-screen","ocean_both_sidebars_style":"","ocean_both_sidebars_content_width":0,"ocean_both_sidebars_sidebars_width":0,"ocean_sidebar":"0","ocean_second_sidebar":"0","ocean_disable_margins":"enable","ocean_add_body_class":"","ocean_shortcode_before_top_bar":"","ocean_shortcode_after_top_bar":"","ocean_shortcode_before_header":"","ocean_shortcode_after_header":"","ocean_has_shortcode":"","ocean_shortcode_after_title":"","ocean_shortcode_before_footer_widgets":"","ocean_shortcode_after_footer_widgets":"","ocean_shortcode_before_footer_bottom":"","ocean_shortcode_after_footer_bottom":"","ocean_display_top_bar":"default","ocean_display_header":"default","ocean_header_style":"","ocean_center_header_left_menu":"0","ocean_custom_header_template":"0","ocean_custom_logo":0,"ocean_custom_retina_logo":0,"ocean_custom_logo_max_width":0,"ocean_custom_logo_tablet_max_width":0,"ocean_custom_logo_mobile_max_width":0,"ocean_custom_logo_max_height":0,"ocean_custom_logo_tablet_max_height":0,"ocean_custom_logo_mobile_max_height":0,"ocean_header_custom_menu":"0","ocean_menu_typo_font_family":"0","ocean_menu_typo_font_subset":"","ocean_menu_typo_font_size":0,"ocean_menu_typo_font_size_tablet":0,"ocean_menu_typo_font_size_mobile":0,"ocean_menu_typo_font_size_unit":"px","ocean_menu_typo_font_weight":"","ocean_menu_typo_font_weight_tablet":"","ocean_menu_typo_font_weight_mobile":"","ocean_menu_typo_transform":"","ocean_menu_typo_transform_tablet":"","ocean_menu_typo_transform_mobile":"","ocean_menu_typo_line_height":0,"ocean_menu_typo_line_height_tablet":0,"ocean_menu_typo_line_height_mobile":0,"ocean_menu_typo_line_height_unit":"","ocean_menu_typo_spacing":0,"ocean_menu_typo_spacing_tablet":0,"ocean_menu_typo_spacing_mobile":0,"ocean_menu_typo_spacing_unit":"","ocean_menu_link_color":"","ocean_menu_link_color_hover":"","ocean_menu_link_color_active":"","ocean_menu_link_background":"","ocean_menu_link_hover_background":"","ocean_menu_link_active_background":"","ocean_menu_social_links_bg":"","ocean_menu_social_hover_links_bg":"","ocean_menu_social_links_color":"","ocean_menu_social_hover_links_color":"","ocean_disable_title":"default","ocean_disable_heading":"default","ocean_post_title":"","ocean_post_subheading":"","ocean_post_title_style":"","ocean_post_title_background_color":"","ocean_post_title_background":0,"ocean_post_title_bg_image_position":"","ocean_post_title_bg_image_attachment":"","ocean_post_title_bg_image_repeat":"","ocean_post_title_bg_image_size":"","ocean_post_title_height":0,"ocean_post_title_bg_overlay":0.5,"ocean_post_title_bg_overlay_color":"","ocean_disable_breadcrumbs":"default","ocean_breadcrumbs_color":"","ocean_breadcrumbs_separator_color":"","ocean_breadcrumbs_links_color":"","ocean_breadcrumbs_links_hover_color":"","ocean_display_footer_widgets":"default","ocean_display_footer_bottom":"default","ocean_custom_footer_template":"0","ocean_post_oembed":"","ocean_post_self_hosted_media":"","ocean_post_video_embed":"","ocean_link_format":"","ocean_link_format_target":"self","ocean_quote_format":"","ocean_quote_format_link":"post","ocean_gallery_link_images":"off","ocean_gallery_id":[],"footnotes":""},"categories":[73],"tags":[],"class_list":["post-116072","post","type-post","status-publish","format-standard","hentry","category-emotional-independence","entry","owp-thumbs-layout-horizontal","owp-btn-normal","owp-tabs-layout-horizontal","has-no-thumbnails"],"_links":{"self":[{"href":"https:\/\/sandykaufmann.ch\/en\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/posts\/116072","targetHints":{"allow":["GET"]}}],"collection":[{"href":"https:\/\/sandykaufmann.ch\/en\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/posts"}],"about":[{"href":"https:\/\/sandykaufmann.ch\/en\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/types\/post"}],"author":[{"embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/sandykaufmann.ch\/en\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/users\/4"}],"replies":[{"embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/sandykaufmann.ch\/en\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/comments?post=116072"}],"version-history":[{"count":30,"href":"https:\/\/sandykaufmann.ch\/en\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/posts\/116072\/revisions"}],"predecessor-version":[{"id":1078635,"href":"https:\/\/sandykaufmann.ch\/en\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/posts\/116072\/revisions\/1078635"}],"wp:attachment":[{"href":"https:\/\/sandykaufmann.ch\/en\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/media?parent=116072"}],"wp:term":[{"taxonomy":"category","embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/sandykaufmann.ch\/en\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/categories?post=116072"},{"taxonomy":"post_tag","embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/sandykaufmann.ch\/en\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/tags?post=116072"}],"curies":[{"name":"wp","href":"https:\/\/api.w.org\/{rel}","templated":true}]}}