{"id":1157233,"date":"2026-08-24T12:06:24","date_gmt":"2026-08-24T12:06:24","guid":{"rendered":"https:\/\/sandykaufmann.ch\/?p=1157233"},"modified":"2026-08-24T12:16:11","modified_gmt":"2026-08-24T12:16:11","slug":"187-others-have-the-power-you-give-them-how-to-stop-being-in-the-role-of-the-victim","status":"publish","type":"post","link":"https:\/\/sandykaufmann.ch\/en\/187-others-have-the-power-you-give-them-how-to-stop-being-in-the-role-of-the-victim\/","title":{"rendered":"187. Others Have the Power You Give Them: How to Stop Being in the role of the Victim?"},"content":{"rendered":"\t\t<div data-elementor-type=\"wp-post\" data-elementor-id=\"1157233\" class=\"elementor elementor-1157233 elementor-1077289\" data-elementor-post-type=\"post\">\n\t\t\t\t\t\t<section class=\"elementor-section elementor-top-section elementor-element elementor-element-7ed86594 elementor-section-content-top elementor-section-full_width elementor-section-height-min-height elementor-section-items-bottom elementor-section-height-default\" data-id=\"7ed86594\" data-element_type=\"section\" data-e-type=\"section\" data-settings=\"{&quot;background_background&quot;:&quot;classic&quot;}\">\n\t\t\t\t\t\t<div class=\"elementor-container elementor-column-gap-default\">\n\t\t\t\t\t<div class=\"elementor-column elementor-col-100 elementor-top-column elementor-element elementor-element-6ea7bd98\" data-id=\"6ea7bd98\" data-element_type=\"column\" data-e-type=\"column\" data-settings=\"{&quot;background_background&quot;:&quot;classic&quot;}\">\n\t\t\t<div class=\"elementor-widget-wrap elementor-element-populated\">\n\t\t\t\t\t\t<div class=\"elementor-element elementor-element-3d639127 elementor-widget elementor-widget-heading\" data-id=\"3d639127\" data-element_type=\"widget\" data-e-type=\"widget\" data-widget_type=\"heading.default\">\n\t\t\t\t<div class=\"elementor-widget-container\">\n\t\t\t\t\t<p class=\"elementor-heading-title elementor-size-xl\">Others Have the Power You Give Them: How to Stop Being in the role of the Victim?<\/p>\t\t\t\t<\/div>\n\t\t\t\t<\/div>\n\t\t\t\t\t<\/div>\n\t\t<\/div>\n\t\t\t\t\t<\/div>\n\t\t<\/section>\n\t\t\t\t<section class=\"elementor-section elementor-top-section elementor-element elementor-element-c616a8a elementor-section-boxed elementor-section-height-default elementor-section-height-default\" data-id=\"c616a8a\" data-element_type=\"section\" data-e-type=\"section\">\n\t\t\t\t\t\t<div class=\"elementor-container elementor-column-gap-default\">\n\t\t\t\t\t<div class=\"elementor-column elementor-col-100 elementor-top-column elementor-element elementor-element-6995962\" data-id=\"6995962\" data-element_type=\"column\" data-e-type=\"column\">\n\t\t\t<div class=\"elementor-widget-wrap elementor-element-populated\">\n\t\t\t\t\t\t<div class=\"elementor-element elementor-element-376509b elementor-widget elementor-widget-text-editor\" data-id=\"376509b\" data-element_type=\"widget\" data-e-type=\"widget\" data-widget_type=\"text-editor.default\">\n\t\t\t\t<div class=\"elementor-widget-container\">\n\t\t\t\t\t\t\t\t\t<span style=\"font-weight: 400;\"><strong>You have the impression of being a victim of other people&#8217;s bad behaviour<\/strong> and you would like to know how to break this repetitive pattern? <strong>You often have the feeling that you cannot influence your relationships<\/strong> and that you are subjected to abandonment, rejection, non-commitment from your partner and <strong>it is a bit of a &#8220;take it or leave it&#8221; situation.<\/strong> <strong>You feel that you cannot defend yourself, earn respect or act in alignment<\/strong> with what you want. Your partners often reproach you <strong>for behaving like a victim<\/strong> and you do not know if this is the case. Or finally you sense that <strong>you are self-victimising and you do not know how to get out of it:<\/strong> You often hear yourself <strong>making excuses<\/strong> &#8220;it&#8217;s not my fault&#8221; &#8220;there were these circumstances that caused it&#8221;, you have the impression of <strong>losing control over your life<\/strong> &#8220;why me&#8221; or you <strong>dramatise situations quickly.<\/strong> This episode aims to better <strong>understand self-victimisation<\/strong> (and its mechanism in the Karpman triangle) and to give you the first keys to getting out of it. Having accompanied more than <strong>600 people<\/strong>, this is one of the most courageous patterns to identify and the one with the greatest potential for transformation.<\/span>\n<p class=\"has-background\" style=\"background-color: #eeeeee;\">\u2764\ufe0f Watch <strong><a href=\"https:\/\/sandykaufmann.ch\/en\/registrationpastwounds\/\" target=\"_blank\" rel=\"noreferrer noopener\">my webinar<\/a><\/strong> on how to finally be happy in love!<\/p>\n\t\t\t\t\t\t\t\t<\/div>\n\t\t\t\t<\/div>\n\t\t\t\t\t<\/div>\n\t\t<\/div>\n\t\t\t\t\t<\/div>\n\t\t<\/section>\n\t\t\t\t<section class=\"elementor-section elementor-top-section elementor-element elementor-element-62d37295 elementor-section-boxed elementor-section-height-default elementor-section-height-default\" data-id=\"62d37295\" data-element_type=\"section\" data-e-type=\"section\">\n\t\t\t\t\t\t<div class=\"elementor-container elementor-column-gap-default\">\n\t\t\t\t\t<div class=\"elementor-column elementor-col-100 elementor-top-column elementor-element elementor-element-4e162bd6\" data-id=\"4e162bd6\" data-element_type=\"column\" data-e-type=\"column\">\n\t\t\t<div class=\"elementor-widget-wrap elementor-element-populated\">\n\t\t\t\t\t\t<div class=\"elementor-element elementor-element-a620e1c elementor-hidden-desktop elementor-hidden-tablet elementor-hidden-mobile elementor-widget elementor-widget-shortcode\" data-id=\"a620e1c\" data-element_type=\"widget\" data-e-type=\"widget\" data-widget_type=\"shortcode.default\">\n\t\t\t\t<div class=\"elementor-widget-container\">\n\t\t\t\t\t\t\t<div class=\"elementor-shortcode\"><iframe name=\"Ausha Podcast Player\" frameborder=\"0\" loading=\"lazy\" id=\"ausha-PTNx\" height=\"220\" style=\"border: none; width:100%; height:220px\" src=\"https:\/\/player.ausha.co\/?showId=bjPkYiPMPlqo&color=%23d13523&podcastId=BD4l3hlKDNG5&v=3&playerId=ausha-PTNx\"><\/iframe><script src=\"https:\/\/player.ausha.co\/ausha-player.js\"><\/script>\n<\/div>\n\t\t\t\t\t\t<\/div>\n\t\t\t\t<\/div>\n\t\t\t\t<div class=\"elementor-element elementor-element-b8d8830 elementor-widget elementor-widget-video\" data-id=\"b8d8830\" data-element_type=\"widget\" data-e-type=\"widget\" data-settings=\"{&quot;youtube_url&quot;:&quot;https:\\\/\\\/youtu.be\\\/-eN02Hz7v0U&quot;,&quot;video_type&quot;:&quot;youtube&quot;,&quot;controls&quot;:&quot;yes&quot;}\" data-widget_type=\"video.default\">\n\t\t\t\t<div class=\"elementor-widget-container\">\n\t\t\t\t\t\t\t<div class=\"elementor-wrapper elementor-open-inline\">\n\t\t\t<div class=\"elementor-video\"><\/div>\t\t<\/div>\n\t\t\t\t\t\t<\/div>\n\t\t\t\t<\/div>\n\t\t\t\t<div class=\"elementor-element elementor-element-4dc2b12 elementor-widget elementor-widget-heading\" data-id=\"4dc2b12\" data-element_type=\"widget\" data-e-type=\"widget\" data-widget_type=\"heading.default\">\n\t\t\t\t<div class=\"elementor-widget-container\">\n\t\t\t\t\t<h2 class=\"elementor-heading-title elementor-size-default\"><span class=\"ez-toc-section\" id=\"Spotting_when_you_are_in_self-victimisation\"><\/span>Spotting when you are in self-victimisation\n<span class=\"ez-toc-section-end\"><\/span><\/h2>\t\t\t\t<\/div>\n\t\t\t\t<\/div>\n\t\t\t\t<div class=\"elementor-element elementor-element-3574bfe elementor-widget elementor-widget-text-editor\" data-id=\"3574bfe\" data-element_type=\"widget\" data-e-type=\"widget\" data-widget_type=\"text-editor.default\">\n\t\t\t\t<div class=\"elementor-widget-container\">\n\t\t\t\t\t\t\t\t\t<span style=\"font-weight: 400;\">Of all the roles in the Karpman triangle, the victim role is often the hardest to recognise in oneself.<\/span>\n<span style=\"font-weight: 400;\">Yet without identifying when you take this role, without taking responsibility for your 50%, you cannot take back your power in your love life.<\/span>\n<span style=\"font-weight: 400;\">The best way to identify your moments of victim-attitude (and I reassure you, I also play this victim role from time to time) is to <strong>list all the moments that make you suffer and where you have the impression of being subjected to things:<\/strong><\/span>\n<ul><li>That date who does not give you news about a second meeting<\/li><li>That crush who asks you for a break and time<\/li><li>That person who suddenly ghosts you<\/li><li>That indecisive person who changes their mind about your relationship<\/li><li>Your partner who imposes certain choices in the relationship \u2014 for example, planning weekends with friends without telling you and you find yourself looking after the children<\/li><\/ul>\n<span style=\"font-weight: 400;\">Note these moments and ask yourself:<\/span>\n<ul><li><strong>At what point did you not exercise your power, did you let things happen?<\/strong> (Looking at the past)<\/li><li><strong>What should you have done differently<\/strong>: in the choice of partner, clarifying\/confronting, setting your limits, working on your perception of &#8220;there is nothing I can do about it&#8221;&#8230; (Looking at the past to correct things next time)<\/li><li>How can I <strong>take back my power now in this situation<\/strong>?<\/li><li>How can I take back <strong>my responsibility<\/strong> now?<\/li><\/ul>\n\t\t\t\t\t\t\t\t<\/div>\n\t\t\t\t<\/div>\n\t\t\t\t\t<\/div>\n\t\t<\/div>\n\t\t\t\t\t<\/div>\n\t\t<\/section>\n\t\t\t\t<section class=\"elementor-section elementor-top-section elementor-element elementor-element-577618f2 elementor-section-boxed elementor-section-height-default elementor-section-height-default\" data-id=\"577618f2\" data-element_type=\"section\" data-e-type=\"section\">\n\t\t\t\t\t\t<div class=\"elementor-container elementor-column-gap-default\">\n\t\t\t\t\t<div class=\"elementor-column elementor-col-100 elementor-top-column elementor-element elementor-element-4d241208\" data-id=\"4d241208\" data-element_type=\"column\" data-e-type=\"column\">\n\t\t\t<div class=\"elementor-widget-wrap elementor-element-populated\">\n\t\t\t\t\t\t<div class=\"elementor-element elementor-element-dc80399 elementor-widget elementor-widget-heading\" data-id=\"dc80399\" data-element_type=\"widget\" data-e-type=\"widget\" data-widget_type=\"heading.default\">\n\t\t\t\t<div class=\"elementor-widget-container\">\n\t\t\t\t\t<h2 class=\"elementor-heading-title elementor-size-default\"><span class=\"ez-toc-section\" id=\"Why_do_you_victimise_yourself\"><\/span>Why do you victimise yourself?\n<span class=\"ez-toc-section-end\"><\/span><\/h2>\t\t\t\t<\/div>\n\t\t\t\t<\/div>\n\t\t\t\t<div class=\"elementor-element elementor-element-442fc70 elementor-widget elementor-widget-text-editor\" data-id=\"442fc70\" data-element_type=\"widget\" data-e-type=\"widget\" data-widget_type=\"text-editor.default\">\n\t\t\t\t<div class=\"elementor-widget-container\">\n\t\t\t\t\t\t\t\t\t<span style=\"font-weight: 400;\">The first thing is that <strong>this is not a lack of willpower<\/strong>.<\/span>\n<span style=\"font-weight: 400;\"><strong>The victimisation mechanism occurs when, in your past, you tried to defend yourself (flight\/fight\/people-pleasing) and none of these survival mechanisms were effective \u2014 so the only solution for you was to endure (dorsal state).<\/strong><\/span>\n<span style=\"font-weight: 400;\">This evolution is very clearly visible in the people I accompany on the Day of the Past: People first describe events in early childhood where they show their disagreement, express their needs, try to defend themselves \u2014 and it has no result (in vain). After several repetitions, the child or young adult changes their mechanism to victimisation. And it can evolve to the stage where <strong>you put yourself in victim mode toward life or by default without anyone asking<\/strong> (&#8220;there is no point in explaining how I feel \u2014 he won&#8217;t listen to me anyway&#8221;, &#8220;there is no point hoping I can have that in life, it has always been difficult for me&#8221;).<\/span>\n<span style=\"font-weight: 400;\">It is important to understand this evolution because to change it, you will need to rebuild trust in the fact that <strong>taking back your power in relationships will give you better results<\/strong> than what you had in your past.<\/span>\n<span style=\"font-weight: 400;\">With the experience of the people I have accompanied, the origins of the victim role are often all the times when:<\/span>\n<ul><li>You asked for listening, love, attention and did not receive it. This is the pattern of emotional dependency (I talk about it in <a href=\"https:\/\/sandykaufmann.ch\/fr\/73-les-differents-types-de-dependance-en-amour\/\">episodes 73<\/a> and 74)<\/li><li>You expressed your limits and they were not respected. This is the abuse pattern (<a href=\"https:\/\/sandykaufmann.ch\/fr\/164-le-schema-dabus\/\">episode 164<\/a>).<\/li><li>You expressed your disagreement in vain. As if what you say does not count.<\/li><li>You tried to defend yourself or you could not defend yourself and you were victimised: rape, sexual touching (<a href=\"https:\/\/sandykaufmann.ch\/fr\/101-limpact-dun-viol-ou-dattouchements-sur-les-relations-amoureuses\/\">episode 101<\/a>), physical and psychological violence.<\/li><\/ul>\n<span style=\"font-weight: 400;\">To go further, watch my webinar &#8220;how to free yourself from the love patterns you learned from the past to finally be happy in love?&#8221;<\/span>\n\t\t\t\t\t\t\t\t<\/div>\n\t\t\t\t<\/div>\n\t\t\t\t\t<\/div>\n\t\t<\/div>\n\t\t\t\t\t<\/div>\n\t\t<\/section>\n\t\t\t\t<section class=\"elementor-section elementor-inner-section elementor-element elementor-element-4b747fae elementor-section-boxed elementor-section-height-default elementor-section-height-default\" data-id=\"4b747fae\" data-element_type=\"section\" data-e-type=\"section\">\n\t\t\t\t\t\t<div class=\"elementor-container elementor-column-gap-default\">\n\t\t\t\t\t<div class=\"elementor-column elementor-col-100 elementor-inner-column elementor-element elementor-element-1478e3b2\" data-id=\"1478e3b2\" data-element_type=\"column\" data-e-type=\"column\">\n\t\t\t<div class=\"elementor-widget-wrap\">\n\t\t\t\t\t\t\t<\/div>\n\t\t<\/div>\n\t\t\t\t\t<\/div>\n\t\t<\/section>\n\t\t\t\t<section class=\"elementor-section elementor-top-section elementor-element elementor-element-5ca53c1d elementor-section-full_width elementor-section-height-default elementor-section-height-default\" data-id=\"5ca53c1d\" data-element_type=\"section\" data-e-type=\"section\" data-settings=\"{&quot;background_background&quot;:&quot;classic&quot;}\">\n\t\t\t\t\t\t<div class=\"elementor-container elementor-column-gap-no\">\n\t\t\t\t\t<div class=\"elementor-column elementor-col-100 elementor-top-column elementor-element elementor-element-3e12ba5a\" data-id=\"3e12ba5a\" data-element_type=\"column\" data-e-type=\"column\">\n\t\t\t<div class=\"elementor-widget-wrap elementor-element-populated\">\n\t\t\t\t\t\t<section class=\"elementor-section elementor-inner-section elementor-element elementor-element-46cf2576 elementor-section-content-bottom elementor-section-boxed elementor-section-height-default elementor-section-height-default\" data-id=\"46cf2576\" data-element_type=\"section\" data-e-type=\"section\" data-settings=\"{&quot;background_background&quot;:&quot;classic&quot;}\">\n\t\t\t\t\t\t<div class=\"elementor-container elementor-column-gap-default\">\n\t\t\t\t\t<div class=\"elementor-column elementor-col-100 elementor-inner-column elementor-element elementor-element-29bd16c4\" data-id=\"29bd16c4\" data-element_type=\"column\" data-e-type=\"column\">\n\t\t\t<div class=\"elementor-widget-wrap elementor-element-populated\">\n\t\t\t\t\t\t<div class=\"elementor-element elementor-element-638458fa elementor-widget elementor-widget-spacer\" data-id=\"638458fa\" data-element_type=\"widget\" data-e-type=\"widget\" data-widget_type=\"spacer.default\">\n\t\t\t\t<div class=\"elementor-widget-container\">\n\t\t\t\t\t\t\t<div class=\"elementor-spacer\">\n\t\t\t<div class=\"elementor-spacer-inner\"><\/div>\n\t\t<\/div>\n\t\t\t\t\t\t<\/div>\n\t\t\t\t<\/div>\n\t\t\t\t\t<\/div>\n\t\t<\/div>\n\t\t\t\t\t<\/div>\n\t\t<\/section>\n\t\t\t\t<section class=\"elementor-section elementor-inner-section elementor-element elementor-element-39ae07aa elementor-section-boxed elementor-section-height-default elementor-section-height-default\" data-id=\"39ae07aa\" data-element_type=\"section\" data-e-type=\"section\">\n\t\t\t\t\t\t<div class=\"elementor-container elementor-column-gap-default\">\n\t\t\t\t\t<div class=\"elementor-column elementor-col-50 elementor-inner-column elementor-element elementor-element-2d1e73ca\" data-id=\"2d1e73ca\" data-element_type=\"column\" data-e-type=\"column\" data-settings=\"{&quot;background_background&quot;:&quot;classic&quot;}\">\n\t\t\t<div class=\"elementor-widget-wrap elementor-element-populated\">\n\t\t\t\t\t\t<div class=\"elementor-element elementor-element-464dea04 elementor-invisible elementor-widget elementor-widget-heading\" data-id=\"464dea04\" data-element_type=\"widget\" data-e-type=\"widget\" data-settings=\"{&quot;_animation&quot;:&quot;fadeInLeft&quot;}\" data-widget_type=\"heading.default\">\n\t\t\t\t<div class=\"elementor-widget-container\">\n\t\t\t\t\t<p class=\"elementor-heading-title elementor-size-large\">For you<\/p>\t\t\t\t<\/div>\n\t\t\t\t<\/div>\n\t\t\t\t<div class=\"elementor-element elementor-element-605afc8b elementor-widget elementor-widget-heading\" data-id=\"605afc8b\" data-element_type=\"widget\" data-e-type=\"widget\" data-widget_type=\"heading.default\">\n\t\t\t\t<div class=\"elementor-widget-container\">\n\t\t\t\t\t<h2 class=\"elementor-heading-title elementor-size-large\"><span class=\"ez-toc-section\" id=\"FREE_Webinar_%22HOW_TO_FREE_OURSELVES_FROM_THE_PATTERNS_THAT_PREVENT_US_FROM_BEING_HAPPY_IN_LOVE%22\"><\/span><span>FREE Webinar \n\"HOW TO FREE OURSELVES FROM THE PATTERNS THAT PREVENT US FROM BEING HAPPY IN LOVE?\"<\/span><span class=\"ez-toc-section-end\"><\/span><\/h2>\t\t\t\t<\/div>\n\t\t\t\t<\/div>\n\t\t\t\t<div class=\"elementor-element elementor-element-23b4f0aa elementor-widget elementor-widget-text-editor\" data-id=\"23b4f0aa\" data-element_type=\"widget\" data-e-type=\"widget\" data-widget_type=\"text-editor.default\">\n\t\t\t\t<div class=\"elementor-widget-container\">\n\t\t\t\t\t\t\t\t\tSubscribe now to my newsletter and receive the replay of the webinar how a wound from the past is created ?\u00a0\t\t\t\t\t\t\t\t<\/div>\n\t\t\t\t<\/div>\n\t\t\t\t\t<\/div>\n\t\t<\/div>\n\t\t\t\t<div class=\"elementor-column elementor-col-50 elementor-inner-column elementor-element elementor-element-3098f0c5\" data-id=\"3098f0c5\" data-element_type=\"column\" 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data-element_type=\"widget\" data-e-type=\"widget\" data-widget_type=\"shortcode.default\">\n\t\t\t\t<div class=\"elementor-widget-container\">\n\t\t\t\t\t\t\t<div class=\"elementor-shortcode\"><script src=https:\/\/sandy-kaufmann.mykajabi.com\/forms\/2149274867\/embed.js><\/script><\/div>\n\t\t\t\t\t\t<\/div>\n\t\t\t\t<\/div>\n\t\t\t\t<div class=\"elementor-element elementor-element-143e5e44 elementor-widget elementor-widget-text-editor\" data-id=\"143e5e44\" data-element_type=\"widget\" data-e-type=\"widget\" data-widget_type=\"text-editor.default\">\n\t\t\t\t<div class=\"elementor-widget-container\">\n\t\t\t\t\t\t\t\t\t<p>* Mandatory fields<\/p><p>If you register for this webinar, you will be subscribed to my newsletter and you will be able to receive offers from me. You can unsubscribe at any time. Please read my<br \/><a href=\"https:\/\/sandykaufmann.ch\/datenschutzbestimmungen\/\">privacy policy (german only)<\/a>, to see how I process the data.<\/p>\t\t\t\t\t\t\t\t<\/div>\n\t\t\t\t<\/div>\n\t\t\t\t\t<\/div>\n\t\t<\/div>\n\t\t\t\t\t<\/div>\n\t\t<\/section>\n\t\t\t\t<section class=\"elementor-section elementor-top-section elementor-element elementor-element-d37da43 elementor-section-boxed elementor-section-height-default elementor-section-height-default\" data-id=\"d37da43\" data-element_type=\"section\" data-e-type=\"section\">\n\t\t\t\t\t\t<div class=\"elementor-container elementor-column-gap-default\">\n\t\t\t\t\t<div class=\"elementor-column elementor-col-100 elementor-top-column elementor-element elementor-element-4550e5e\" data-id=\"4550e5e\" data-element_type=\"column\" data-e-type=\"column\">\n\t\t\t<div class=\"elementor-widget-wrap elementor-element-populated\">\n\t\t\t\t\t\t<div class=\"elementor-element elementor-element-865f677 elementor-widget elementor-widget-heading\" data-id=\"865f677\" data-element_type=\"widget\" data-e-type=\"widget\" data-widget_type=\"heading.default\">\n\t\t\t\t<div class=\"elementor-widget-container\">\n\t\t\t\t\t<h2 class=\"elementor-heading-title elementor-size-default\"><span class=\"ez-toc-section\" id=\"A_hidden_obstacle_shame\"><\/span>A hidden obstacle: shame<span class=\"ez-toc-section-end\"><\/span><\/h2>\t\t\t\t<\/div>\n\t\t\t\t<\/div>\n\t\t\t\t<div class=\"elementor-element elementor-element-a35cf04 elementor-widget elementor-widget-text-editor\" data-id=\"a35cf04\" data-element_type=\"widget\" data-e-type=\"widget\" data-widget_type=\"text-editor.default\">\n\t\t\t\t<div class=\"elementor-widget-container\">\n\t\t\t\t\t\t\t\t\t<span style=\"font-weight: 400;\">The victim role is often poorly judged \u2014 seen as weak, lacking willpower \u2014 and the shame of admitting to playing this role can mean you avoid addressing this mechanism.<\/span>\n<span style=\"font-weight: 400;\">Yet it is the one with the greatest potential to transform your life.<\/span>\n<span style=\"font-weight: 400;\">So every time you find yourself judging yourself harshly on this subject, every time you take flight \u2014 remember what I told you at the beginning of this episode: it is because everything you tried before did not work that you adopted this victimisation mechanism. It is not a question of willpower.<\/span>\n\t\t\t\t\t\t\t\t<\/div>\n\t\t\t\t<\/div>\n\t\t\t\t\t<\/div>\n\t\t<\/div>\n\t\t\t\t\t<\/div>\n\t\t<\/section>\n\t\t\t\t<section class=\"elementor-section elementor-top-section elementor-element elementor-element-d4fcad9 elementor-section-boxed elementor-section-height-default elementor-section-height-default\" data-id=\"d4fcad9\" data-element_type=\"section\" data-e-type=\"section\">\n\t\t\t\t\t\t<div class=\"elementor-container elementor-column-gap-default\">\n\t\t\t\t\t<div class=\"elementor-column elementor-col-100 elementor-top-column elementor-element elementor-element-a41f86b\" data-id=\"a41f86b\" data-element_type=\"column\" data-e-type=\"column\">\n\t\t\t<div class=\"elementor-widget-wrap elementor-element-populated\">\n\t\t\t\t\t\t<div class=\"elementor-element elementor-element-fa5a431 elementor-widget elementor-widget-heading\" data-id=\"fa5a431\" data-element_type=\"widget\" data-e-type=\"widget\" data-widget_type=\"heading.default\">\n\t\t\t\t<div class=\"elementor-widget-container\">\n\t\t\t\t\t<h2 class=\"elementor-heading-title elementor-size-default\"><span class=\"ez-toc-section\" id=\"Getting_out_of_victimisation\"><\/span>Getting out of victimisation<span class=\"ez-toc-section-end\"><\/span><\/h2>\t\t\t\t<\/div>\n\t\t\t\t<\/div>\n\t\t\t\t<div class=\"elementor-element elementor-element-4b53e02 elementor-widget elementor-widget-text-editor\" data-id=\"4b53e02\" data-element_type=\"widget\" data-e-type=\"widget\" data-widget_type=\"text-editor.default\">\n\t\t\t\t<div class=\"elementor-widget-container\">\n\t\t\t\t\t\t\t\t\t<ul><li>The first step is to <strong>work on the imprints from the past that triggered this victimisation mechanism<\/strong> to prevent it from being your default reflex. This is what I offer in the <strong>Day of the Past<\/strong> option of my programmes, at the heart of my <strong>Somatic Deprogramming<\/strong> method: a psycho-corporeal approach to deprogram the automatisms of your nervous system and reprogram new, more adapted relational reflexes.<\/li><li>The second step is to <strong>bring energy to your nervous system<\/strong>, which can see this change as a mountain and want to give up before starting. This is not in your head \u2014 the dominant dorsal state is a real lack of energy in your system. Your body functions in slow motion.<\/li><li>The third step is to see <strong>the real cost of self-victimisation<\/strong> in order to consider better solutions. Remember all those moments of suffering where you had the feeling of being subjected to things in a relationship.<\/li><li>The fourth step is to <strong>experiment with mechanisms where you take back your power<\/strong> and see their results: choice of partner, setting your limits, clarifying with your partner, acting in alignment.<\/li><\/ul>\n<span style=\"font-weight: 400;\">The final step is <strong>to accept relapse.<\/strong> If this mechanism is anchored, it is normal to relapse. The most important thing is <strong>to re-choose to take back your power in order to learn to count on yourself over time.<\/strong><\/span>\n\t\t\t\t\t\t\t\t<\/div>\n\t\t\t\t<\/div>\n\t\t\t\t\t<\/div>\n\t\t<\/div>\n\t\t\t\t\t<\/div>\n\t\t<\/section>\n\t\t\t\t<section class=\"elementor-section elementor-top-section elementor-element elementor-element-373fb72 elementor-hidden-desktop elementor-hidden-tablet elementor-hidden-mobile elementor-section-boxed elementor-section-height-default elementor-section-height-default\" data-id=\"373fb72\" data-element_type=\"section\" data-e-type=\"section\">\n\t\t\t\t\t\t<div class=\"elementor-container elementor-column-gap-default\">\n\t\t\t\t\t<div class=\"elementor-column elementor-col-100 elementor-top-column elementor-element elementor-element-89a310e\" data-id=\"89a310e\" data-element_type=\"column\" data-e-type=\"column\">\n\t\t\t<div class=\"elementor-widget-wrap elementor-element-populated\">\n\t\t\t\t\t\t<div class=\"elementor-element elementor-element-8146887 elementor-widget elementor-widget-heading\" data-id=\"8146887\" data-element_type=\"widget\" data-e-type=\"widget\" data-widget_type=\"heading.default\">\n\t\t\t\t<div class=\"elementor-widget-container\">\n\t\t\t\t\t<h2 class=\"elementor-heading-title elementor-size-default\"><span class=\"ez-toc-section\" id=\"Pour_aller_plus_loin\"><\/span>Pour aller plus loin<span class=\"ez-toc-section-end\"><\/span><\/h2>\t\t\t\t<\/div>\n\t\t\t\t<\/div>\n\t\t\t\t<div class=\"elementor-element elementor-element-a161ef5 elementor-widget elementor-widget-text-editor\" data-id=\"a161ef5\" data-element_type=\"widget\" data-e-type=\"widget\" data-widget_type=\"text-editor.default\">\n\t\t\t\t<div class=\"elementor-widget-container\">\n\t\t\t\t\t\t\t\t\t<p><span style=\"font-weight: 400;\">Si tu as envie d\u2019approfondir le sujet et d\u2019identifier tes propres sch\u00e9mas amoureux, j\u2019ai dans mon livre tout un encart sur le triangle de Karpman et comment sortir du r\u00f4le de victime, <\/span><a href=\"https:\/\/sandykaufmann.ch\/fr\/livre-souvrir-a-lamour-et-si-la-solution-se-trouvait-du-cote-du-nerf-vague\/\"><span style=\"font-weight: 400;\">S\u2019ouvrir \u00e0 l\u2019amour<\/span><\/a><span style=\"font-weight: 400;\"> disponible dans toutes les librairies.<\/span><\/p><p><span style=\"font-weight: 400;\">Je t\u2019y pr\u00e9sente un outil pour apprendre \u00e0 ressentir tes limites dans l\u2019engagement social et ce que tu peux faire quand tu sens que c\u2019est trop avec l\u2019exercice de la bulle.<\/span><\/p>\t\t\t\t\t\t\t\t<\/div>\n\t\t\t\t<\/div>\n\t\t\t\t\t<\/div>\n\t\t<\/div>\n\t\t\t\t\t<\/div>\n\t\t<\/section>\n\t\t\t\t<section class=\"elementor-section elementor-top-section elementor-element elementor-element-f55c022 elementor-section-height-min-height elementor-section-content-middle elementor-hidden-desktop elementor-hidden-tablet elementor-hidden-mobile elementor-section-boxed elementor-section-height-default elementor-section-items-middle\" data-id=\"f55c022\" data-element_type=\"section\" data-e-type=\"section\" data-settings=\"{&quot;background_background&quot;:&quot;classic&quot;}\">\n\t\t\t\t\t\t<div class=\"elementor-container elementor-column-gap-no\">\n\t\t\t\t\t<div class=\"elementor-column elementor-col-100 elementor-top-column elementor-element elementor-element-425c10e9\" data-id=\"425c10e9\" data-element_type=\"column\" data-e-type=\"column\">\n\t\t\t<div class=\"elementor-widget-wrap elementor-element-populated\">\n\t\t\t\t\t\t<section class=\"elementor-section elementor-inner-section elementor-element elementor-element-badef69 elementor-section-boxed elementor-section-height-default elementor-section-height-default\" data-id=\"badef69\" data-element_type=\"section\" data-e-type=\"section\">\n\t\t\t\t\t\t<div class=\"elementor-container elementor-column-gap-default\">\n\t\t\t\t\t<div class=\"elementor-column elementor-col-50 elementor-inner-column elementor-element elementor-element-33fee327\" data-id=\"33fee327\" data-element_type=\"column\" data-e-type=\"column\">\n\t\t\t<div class=\"elementor-widget-wrap elementor-element-populated\">\n\t\t\t\t\t\t<div class=\"elementor-element elementor-element-35ddf327 elementor-widget elementor-widget-image\" data-id=\"35ddf327\" data-element_type=\"widget\" data-e-type=\"widget\" data-widget_type=\"image.default\">\n\t\t\t\t<div class=\"elementor-widget-container\">\n\t\t\t\t\t\t\t\t\t\t\t\t\t\t\t<img fetchpriority=\"high\" decoding=\"async\" width=\"1771\" height=\"1535\" src=\"https:\/\/sandykaufmann.ch\/wp-content\/uploads\/2024\/12\/Untitled-design-1.png\" class=\"attachment-2048x2048 size-2048x2048 wp-image-1075258\" alt=\"\" srcset=\"https:\/\/sandykaufmann.ch\/wp-content\/uploads\/2024\/12\/Untitled-design-1.png 1771w, https:\/\/sandykaufmann.ch\/wp-content\/uploads\/2024\/12\/Untitled-design-1-300x260.png 300w, https:\/\/sandykaufmann.ch\/wp-content\/uploads\/2024\/12\/Untitled-design-1-1024x888.png 1024w, https:\/\/sandykaufmann.ch\/wp-content\/uploads\/2024\/12\/Untitled-design-1-768x666.png 768w, https:\/\/sandykaufmann.ch\/wp-content\/uploads\/2024\/12\/Untitled-design-1-1536x1331.png 1536w, https:\/\/sandykaufmann.ch\/wp-content\/uploads\/2024\/12\/Untitled-design-1-600x520.png 600w\" sizes=\"(max-width: 1771px) 100vw, 1771px\" \/>\t\t\t\t\t\t\t\t\t\t\t\t\t\t\t<\/div>\n\t\t\t\t<\/div>\n\t\t\t\t\t<\/div>\n\t\t<\/div>\n\t\t\t\t<div class=\"elementor-column elementor-col-50 elementor-inner-column elementor-element elementor-element-1cad90ea\" data-id=\"1cad90ea\" data-element_type=\"column\" data-e-type=\"column\">\n\t\t\t<div class=\"elementor-widget-wrap elementor-element-populated\">\n\t\t\t\t\t\t<div class=\"elementor-element elementor-element-c26fa26 elementor-widget elementor-widget-heading\" data-id=\"c26fa26\" data-element_type=\"widget\" data-e-type=\"widget\" data-widget_type=\"heading.default\">\n\t\t\t\t<div class=\"elementor-widget-container\">\n\t\t\t\t\t<p class=\"elementor-heading-title elementor-size-medium\">S'ouvrir \u00e0 l'Amour<\/p>\t\t\t\t<\/div>\n\t\t\t\t<\/div>\n\t\t\t\t<div class=\"elementor-element elementor-element-1af641f8 elementor-widget elementor-widget-heading\" data-id=\"1af641f8\" data-element_type=\"widget\" data-e-type=\"widget\" data-widget_type=\"heading.default\">\n\t\t\t\t<div class=\"elementor-widget-container\">\n\t\t\t\t\t<p class=\"elementor-heading-title elementor-size-large\">Le livre qui va te permettre d'identifier tes sch\u00e9mas amoureux et te permettre d'apprendre les clefs pour construire une relation saine<\/p>\t\t\t\t<\/div>\n\t\t\t\t<\/div>\n\t\t\t\t\t<\/div>\n\t\t<\/div>\n\t\t\t\t\t<\/div>\n\t\t<\/section>\n\t\t\t\t\t<\/div>\n\t\t<\/div>\n\t\t\t\t\t<\/div>\n\t\t<\/section>\n\t\t\t\t<section class=\"elementor-section elementor-top-section elementor-element elementor-element-57dfb0c elementor-section-boxed elementor-section-height-default elementor-section-height-default\" data-id=\"57dfb0c\" data-element_type=\"section\" data-e-type=\"section\">\n\t\t\t\t\t\t<div class=\"elementor-container elementor-column-gap-default\">\n\t\t\t\t\t<div class=\"elementor-column elementor-col-100 elementor-top-column elementor-element elementor-element-a571f9c\" data-id=\"a571f9c\" data-element_type=\"column\" data-e-type=\"column\">\n\t\t\t<div class=\"elementor-widget-wrap elementor-element-populated\">\n\t\t\t\t\t\t<div class=\"elementor-element elementor-element-41bc86f elementor-widget elementor-widget-heading\" data-id=\"41bc86f\" data-element_type=\"widget\" data-e-type=\"widget\" data-widget_type=\"heading.default\">\n\t\t\t\t<div class=\"elementor-widget-container\">\n\t\t\t\t\t<h2 class=\"elementor-heading-title elementor-size-default\"><span class=\"ez-toc-section\" id=\"Going_further\"><\/span>Going further<span class=\"ez-toc-section-end\"><\/span><\/h2>\t\t\t\t<\/div>\n\t\t\t\t<\/div>\n\t\t\t\t<div class=\"elementor-element elementor-element-b40909c elementor-widget elementor-widget-text-editor\" data-id=\"b40909c\" data-element_type=\"widget\" data-e-type=\"widget\" data-widget_type=\"text-editor.default\">\n\t\t\t\t<div class=\"elementor-widget-container\">\n\t\t\t\t\t\t\t\t\t<span style=\"font-weight: 400;\">And if you would like to work on your love patterns through the body and transform your love life, you have the programme <a href=\"https:\/\/sandykaufmann.ch\/en\/opening-up-to-love\/\"><strong>Opening Up to Love<\/strong><\/a>.<\/span>\t\t\t\t\t\t\t\t<\/div>\n\t\t\t\t<\/div>\n\t\t\t\t<div class=\"elementor-element elementor-element-6f1d44a elementor-align-center elementor-mobile-align-center elementor-widget elementor-widget-button\" data-id=\"6f1d44a\" data-element_type=\"widget\" data-e-type=\"widget\" data-widget_type=\"button.default\">\n\t\t\t\t<div class=\"elementor-widget-container\">\n\t\t\t\t\t\t\t\t\t<div class=\"elementor-button-wrapper\">\n\t\t\t\t\t<a class=\"elementor-button elementor-button-link elementor-size-md\" href=\"https:\/\/sandykaufmann.ch\/en\/opening-up-to-love\/\">\n\t\t\t\t\t\t<span class=\"elementor-button-content-wrapper\">\n\t\t\t\t\t\t\t\t\t<span class=\"elementor-button-text\">OPENING UP TO LOVE<\/span>\n\t\t\t\t\t<\/span>\n\t\t\t\t\t<\/a>\n\t\t\t\t<\/div>\n\t\t\t\t\t\t\t\t<\/div>\n\t\t\t\t<\/div>\n\t\t\t\t<div class=\"elementor-element elementor-element-211fd92 elementor-widget elementor-widget-spacer\" data-id=\"211fd92\" data-element_type=\"widget\" data-e-type=\"widget\" data-widget_type=\"spacer.default\">\n\t\t\t\t<div class=\"elementor-widget-container\">\n\t\t\t\t\t\t\t<div class=\"elementor-spacer\">\n\t\t\t<div class=\"elementor-spacer-inner\"><\/div>\n\t\t<\/div>\n\t\t\t\t\t\t<\/div>\n\t\t\t\t<\/div>\n\t\t\t\t\t<\/div>\n\t\t<\/div>\n\t\t\t\t\t<\/div>\n\t\t<\/section>\n\t\t\t\t<section class=\"elementor-section elementor-top-section elementor-element elementor-element-26dce5d6 elementor-section-full_width elementor-section-height-default elementor-section-height-default\" data-id=\"26dce5d6\" data-element_type=\"section\" data-e-type=\"section\" data-settings=\"{&quot;background_background&quot;:&quot;classic&quot;}\">\n\t\t\t\t\t\t<div class=\"elementor-container elementor-column-gap-no\">\n\t\t\t\t\t<div class=\"elementor-column elementor-col-100 elementor-top-column elementor-element elementor-element-10901f28\" data-id=\"10901f28\" data-element_type=\"column\" data-e-type=\"column\">\n\t\t\t<div class=\"elementor-widget-wrap elementor-element-populated\">\n\t\t\t\t\t\t<section class=\"elementor-section elementor-inner-section elementor-element elementor-element-682b2f99 elementor-section-content-bottom elementor-section-boxed elementor-section-height-default elementor-section-height-default\" data-id=\"682b2f99\" data-element_type=\"section\" data-e-type=\"section\" data-settings=\"{&quot;background_background&quot;:&quot;classic&quot;}\">\n\t\t\t\t\t\t<div class=\"elementor-container elementor-column-gap-default\">\n\t\t\t\t\t<div class=\"elementor-column elementor-col-100 elementor-inner-column elementor-element elementor-element-78c63a69\" data-id=\"78c63a69\" data-element_type=\"column\" data-e-type=\"column\">\n\t\t\t<div class=\"elementor-widget-wrap elementor-element-populated\">\n\t\t\t\t\t\t<div class=\"elementor-element elementor-element-39963c9 elementor-widget elementor-widget-spacer\" data-id=\"39963c9\" data-element_type=\"widget\" data-e-type=\"widget\" data-widget_type=\"spacer.default\">\n\t\t\t\t<div class=\"elementor-widget-container\">\n\t\t\t\t\t\t\t<div class=\"elementor-spacer\">\n\t\t\t<div class=\"elementor-spacer-inner\"><\/div>\n\t\t<\/div>\n\t\t\t\t\t\t<\/div>\n\t\t\t\t<\/div>\n\t\t\t\t\t<\/div>\n\t\t<\/div>\n\t\t\t\t\t<\/div>\n\t\t<\/section>\n\t\t\t\t<section class=\"elementor-section elementor-inner-section elementor-element elementor-element-22096a1a elementor-section-boxed elementor-section-height-default elementor-section-height-default\" data-id=\"22096a1a\" data-element_type=\"section\" data-e-type=\"section\">\n\t\t\t\t\t\t<div class=\"elementor-container elementor-column-gap-default\">\n\t\t\t\t\t<div class=\"elementor-column elementor-col-50 elementor-inner-column elementor-element elementor-element-3ca85002\" data-id=\"3ca85002\" data-element_type=\"column\" data-e-type=\"column\" data-settings=\"{&quot;background_background&quot;:&quot;classic&quot;}\">\n\t\t\t<div class=\"elementor-widget-wrap elementor-element-populated\">\n\t\t\t\t\t\t<div class=\"elementor-element elementor-element-101ea11 elementor-invisible elementor-widget elementor-widget-heading\" data-id=\"101ea11\" data-element_type=\"widget\" data-e-type=\"widget\" data-settings=\"{&quot;_animation&quot;:&quot;fadeInLeft&quot;}\" data-widget_type=\"heading.default\">\n\t\t\t\t<div class=\"elementor-widget-container\">\n\t\t\t\t\t<p class=\"elementor-heading-title elementor-size-large\">Sandy Kaufmann\n<\/p>\t\t\t\t<\/div>\n\t\t\t\t<\/div>\n\t\t\t\t<div class=\"elementor-element elementor-element-16722a78 elementor-widget elementor-widget-text-editor\" data-id=\"16722a78\" data-element_type=\"widget\" data-e-type=\"widget\" data-widget_type=\"text-editor.default\">\n\t\t\t\t<div class=\"elementor-widget-container\">\n\t\t\t\t\t\t\t\t\t<span style=\"color: #000000; font-size: large;\"><span style=\"caret-color: #000000;\">is a somatic therapist and coach, based in Switzerland. She is the author of two books published by Editions Eyrolles and has accompanied more than 600 people. She is the creator of the Somatic Deprogramming method and hosts the podcast &#8220;<a href=\"https:\/\/sandykaufmann.ch\/en\/blog\/\">S&#8217;ouvrir a l&#8217;amour<\/a>&#8220;, ranked in the French top 50 in the relationships category.<\/span><\/span>\t\t\t\t\t\t\t\t<\/div>\n\t\t\t\t<\/div>\n\t\t\t\t\t<\/div>\n\t\t<\/div>\n\t\t\t\t<div class=\"elementor-column elementor-col-50 elementor-inner-column elementor-element elementor-element-f80614c\" data-id=\"f80614c\" data-element_type=\"column\" data-e-type=\"column\">\n\t\t\t<div class=\"elementor-widget-wrap\">\n\t\t\t\t\t\t\t<\/div>\n\t\t<\/div>\n\t\t\t\t\t<\/div>\n\t\t<\/section>\n\t\t\t\t\t<\/div>\n\t\t<\/div>\n\t\t\t\t\t<\/div>\n\t\t<\/section>\n\t\t\t\t<section class=\"elementor-section elementor-top-section elementor-element elementor-element-2b0c4aa2 elementor-section-full_width elementor-section-height-min-height elementor-section-items-stretch elementor-section-content-middle elementor-section-height-default\" data-id=\"2b0c4aa2\" data-element_type=\"section\" data-e-type=\"section\">\n\t\t\t\t\t\t<div class=\"elementor-container elementor-column-gap-default\">\n\t\t\t\t\t<div class=\"elementor-column elementor-col-50 elementor-top-column elementor-element elementor-element-4777e6d3\" data-id=\"4777e6d3\" data-element_type=\"column\" data-e-type=\"column\" data-settings=\"{&quot;background_background&quot;:&quot;classic&quot;}\">\n\t\t\t<div class=\"elementor-widget-wrap elementor-element-populated\">\n\t\t\t\t\t\t<section class=\"elementor-section elementor-inner-section elementor-element elementor-element-5bccdb0c elementor-section-height-default elementor-section-boxed elementor-section-height-default\" data-id=\"5bccdb0c\" data-element_type=\"section\" data-e-type=\"section\">\n\t\t\t\t\t\t<div class=\"elementor-container elementor-column-gap-default\">\n\t\t\t\t\t<div class=\"elementor-column elementor-col-20 elementor-inner-column elementor-element elementor-element-102cf14 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class=\"eztoc-hide\" style=\"display:none;\">Toggle<\/span><span class=\"ez-toc-icon-toggle-span\"><svg style=\"fill: #999;color:#999\" xmlns=\"http:\/\/www.w3.org\/2000\/svg\" class=\"list-377408\" width=\"20px\" height=\"20px\" viewBox=\"0 0 24 24\" fill=\"none\"><path d=\"M6 6H4v2h2V6zm14 0H8v2h12V6zM4 11h2v2H4v-2zm16 0H8v2h12v-2zM4 16h2v2H4v-2zm16 0H8v2h12v-2z\" fill=\"currentColor\"><\/path><\/svg><svg style=\"fill: #999;color:#999\" class=\"arrow-unsorted-368013\" xmlns=\"http:\/\/www.w3.org\/2000\/svg\" width=\"10px\" height=\"10px\" viewBox=\"0 0 24 24\" version=\"1.2\" baseProfile=\"tiny\"><path d=\"M18.2 9.3l-6.2-6.3-6.2 6.3c-.2.2-.3.4-.3.7s.1.5.3.7c.2.2.4.3.7.3h11c.3 0 .5-.1.7-.3.2-.2.3-.5.3-.7s-.1-.5-.3-.7zM5.8 14.7l6.2 6.3 6.2-6.3c.2-.2.3-.5.3-.7s-.1-.5-.3-.7c-.2-.2-.4-.3-.7-.3h-11c-.3 0-.5.1-.7.3-.2.2-.3.5-.3.7s.1.5.3.7z\"\/><\/svg><\/span><\/span><\/label><input type=\"checkbox\"  id=\"ez-toc-cssicon-toggle-item-6a8e1c915a0ae\" checked aria-label=\"Toggle\" \/><nav><ul class='ez-toc-list ez-toc-list-level-1 ' ><li class='ez-toc-page-1 ez-toc-heading-level-2'><a class=\"ez-toc-link ez-toc-heading-1\" href=\"https:\/\/sandykaufmann.ch\/en\/187-others-have-the-power-you-give-them-how-to-stop-being-in-the-role-of-the-victim\/#Spotting_when_you_are_in_self-victimisation\" >Spotting when you are in self-victimisation<\/a><\/li><li class='ez-toc-page-1 ez-toc-heading-level-2'><a class=\"ez-toc-link ez-toc-heading-2\" href=\"https:\/\/sandykaufmann.ch\/en\/187-others-have-the-power-you-give-them-how-to-stop-being-in-the-role-of-the-victim\/#Why_do_you_victimise_yourself\" >Why do you victimise yourself?<\/a><\/li><li class='ez-toc-page-1 ez-toc-heading-level-2'><a class=\"ez-toc-link ez-toc-heading-3\" href=\"https:\/\/sandykaufmann.ch\/en\/187-others-have-the-power-you-give-them-how-to-stop-being-in-the-role-of-the-victim\/#FREE_Webinar_%22HOW_TO_FREE_OURSELVES_FROM_THE_PATTERNS_THAT_PREVENT_US_FROM_BEING_HAPPY_IN_LOVE%22\" >FREE Webinar \n\"HOW TO FREE OURSELVES FROM THE PATTERNS THAT PREVENT US FROM BEING HAPPY IN LOVE?\"<\/a><\/li><li class='ez-toc-page-1 ez-toc-heading-level-2'><a class=\"ez-toc-link ez-toc-heading-4\" href=\"https:\/\/sandykaufmann.ch\/en\/187-others-have-the-power-you-give-them-how-to-stop-being-in-the-role-of-the-victim\/#A_hidden_obstacle_shame\" >A hidden obstacle: shame<\/a><\/li><li class='ez-toc-page-1 ez-toc-heading-level-2'><a class=\"ez-toc-link ez-toc-heading-5\" href=\"https:\/\/sandykaufmann.ch\/en\/187-others-have-the-power-you-give-them-how-to-stop-being-in-the-role-of-the-victim\/#Getting_out_of_victimisation\" >Getting out of victimisation<\/a><\/li><li class='ez-toc-page-1 ez-toc-heading-level-2'><a class=\"ez-toc-link ez-toc-heading-6\" href=\"https:\/\/sandykaufmann.ch\/en\/187-others-have-the-power-you-give-them-how-to-stop-being-in-the-role-of-the-victim\/#Pour_aller_plus_loin\" >Pour aller plus loin<\/a><\/li><li class='ez-toc-page-1 ez-toc-heading-level-2'><a class=\"ez-toc-link ez-toc-heading-7\" href=\"https:\/\/sandykaufmann.ch\/en\/187-others-have-the-power-you-give-them-how-to-stop-being-in-the-role-of-the-victim\/#Going_further\" >Going further<\/a><\/li><\/ul><\/nav><\/div>\n","protected":false},"excerpt":{"rendered":"<p>Others Have the Power You Give Them: How to Stop Being in the role of the Victim? You have the impression of being a victim of other people&#8217;s bad behaviour and you would like to know how to break this repetitive pattern? You often have the feeling that you cannot influence your relationships and that [&hellip;]<\/p>\n","protected":false},"author":1,"featured_media":0,"comment_status":"closed","ping_status":"closed","sticky":false,"template":"elementor_header_footer","format":"standard","meta":{"ocean_post_layout":"full-screen","ocean_both_sidebars_style":"","ocean_both_sidebars_content_width":0,"ocean_both_sidebars_sidebars_width":0,"ocean_sidebar":"0","ocean_second_sidebar":"0","ocean_disable_margins":"enable","ocean_add_body_class":"","ocean_shortcode_before_top_bar":"","ocean_shortcode_after_top_bar":"","ocean_shortcode_before_header":"","ocean_shortcode_after_header":"","ocean_has_shortcode":"","ocean_shortcode_after_title":"","ocean_shortcode_before_footer_widgets":"","ocean_shortcode_after_footer_widgets":"","ocean_shortcode_before_footer_bottom":"","ocean_shortcode_after_footer_bottom":"","ocean_display_top_bar":"default","ocean_display_header":"default","ocean_header_style":"","ocean_center_header_left_menu":"0","ocean_custom_header_template":"0","ocean_custom_logo":0,"ocean_custom_retina_logo":0,"ocean_custom_logo_max_width":0,"ocean_custom_logo_tablet_max_width":0,"ocean_custom_logo_mobile_max_width":0,"ocean_custom_logo_max_height":0,"ocean_custom_logo_tablet_max_height":0,"ocean_custom_logo_mobile_max_height":0,"ocean_header_custom_menu":"0","ocean_menu_typo_font_family":"0","ocean_menu_typo_font_subset":"","ocean_menu_typo_font_size":0,"ocean_menu_typo_font_size_tablet":0,"ocean_menu_typo_font_size_mobile":0,"ocean_menu_typo_font_size_unit":"px","ocean_menu_typo_font_weight":"","ocean_menu_typo_font_weight_tablet":"","ocean_menu_typo_font_weight_mobile":"","ocean_menu_typo_transform":"","ocean_menu_typo_transform_tablet":"","ocean_menu_typo_transform_mobile":"","ocean_menu_typo_line_height":0,"ocean_menu_typo_line_height_tablet":0,"ocean_menu_typo_line_height_mobile":0,"ocean_menu_typo_line_height_unit":"","ocean_menu_typo_spacing":0,"ocean_menu_typo_spacing_tablet":0,"ocean_menu_typo_spacing_mobile":0,"ocean_menu_typo_spacing_unit":"","ocean_menu_link_color":"","ocean_menu_link_color_hover":"","ocean_menu_link_color_active":"","ocean_menu_link_background":"","ocean_menu_link_hover_background":"","ocean_menu_link_active_background":"","ocean_menu_social_links_bg":"","ocean_menu_social_hover_links_bg":"","ocean_menu_social_links_color":"","ocean_menu_social_hover_links_color":"","ocean_disable_title":"default","ocean_disable_heading":"default","ocean_post_title":"","ocean_post_subheading":"","ocean_post_title_style":"","ocean_post_title_background_color":"","ocean_post_title_background":0,"ocean_post_title_bg_image_position":"","ocean_post_title_bg_image_attachment":"","ocean_post_title_bg_image_repeat":"","ocean_post_title_bg_image_size":"","ocean_post_title_height":0,"ocean_post_title_bg_overlay":0.5,"ocean_post_title_bg_overlay_color":"","ocean_disable_breadcrumbs":"default","ocean_breadcrumbs_color":"","ocean_breadcrumbs_separator_color":"","ocean_breadcrumbs_links_color":"","ocean_breadcrumbs_links_hover_color":"","ocean_display_footer_widgets":"default","ocean_display_footer_bottom":"default","ocean_custom_footer_template":"0","ocean_post_oembed":"","ocean_post_self_hosted_media":"","ocean_post_video_embed":"","ocean_link_format":"","ocean_link_format_target":"self","ocean_quote_format":"","ocean_quote_format_link":"post","ocean_gallery_link_images":"on","ocean_gallery_id":[],"footnotes":""},"categories":[69],"tags":[],"class_list":["post-1157233","post","type-post","status-publish","format-standard","hentry","category-behaviour","entry","owp-thumbs-layout-horizontal","owp-btn-normal","owp-tabs-layout-horizontal","has-no-thumbnails"],"_links":{"self":[{"href":"https:\/\/sandykaufmann.ch\/en\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/posts\/1157233","targetHints":{"allow":["GET"]}}],"collection":[{"href":"https:\/\/sandykaufmann.ch\/en\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/posts"}],"about":[{"href":"https:\/\/sandykaufmann.ch\/en\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/types\/post"}],"author":[{"embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/sandykaufmann.ch\/en\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/users\/1"}],"replies":[{"embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/sandykaufmann.ch\/en\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/comments?post=1157233"}],"version-history":[{"count":5,"href":"https:\/\/sandykaufmann.ch\/en\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/posts\/1157233\/revisions"}],"predecessor-version":[{"id":1157287,"href":"https:\/\/sandykaufmann.ch\/en\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/posts\/1157233\/revisions\/1157287"}],"wp:attachment":[{"href":"https:\/\/sandykaufmann.ch\/en\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/media?parent=1157233"}],"wp:term":[{"taxonomy":"category","embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/sandykaufmann.ch\/en\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/categories?post=1157233"},{"taxonomy":"post_tag","embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/sandykaufmann.ch\/en\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/tags?post=1157233"}],"curies":[{"name":"wp","href":"https:\/\/api.w.org\/{rel}","templated":true}]}}