{"id":1145521,"date":"2026-08-14T05:45:01","date_gmt":"2026-08-14T05:45:01","guid":{"rendered":"https:\/\/sandykaufmann.ch\/?p=1145521"},"modified":"2026-08-14T06:01:59","modified_gmt":"2026-08-14T06:01:59","slug":"196-the-5-nervous-system-response-mechanisms-in-love-the-fight-response","status":"publish","type":"post","link":"https:\/\/sandykaufmann.ch\/en\/196-the-5-nervous-system-response-mechanisms-in-love-the-fight-response\/","title":{"rendered":"196. The 5 Nervous System Response Mechanisms in Love: The Fight Response"},"content":{"rendered":"\t\t
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The 5 Nervous System Response Mechanisms in Love:
The Fight Response<\/p>\t\t\t\t<\/div>\n\t\t\t\t<\/div>\n\t\t\t\t\t<\/div>\n\t\t<\/div>\n\t\t\t\t\t<\/div>\n\t\t<\/section>\n\t\t\t\t

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\n\t\t\t\t\t\t\t\t\tThe 5 nervous system response mechanisms in love: the fight response<\/span>\nThis episode is part of a series of 5 episodes on the 5 nervous system response mechanisms and how they impact your relationship, starting at episode 195 and ending at episode 199. If you are new to the podcast and unfamiliar with the influence of the nervous system on your relationships, I invite you to listen to episodes 152 The impact of the nervous system on your relationships<\/a>, 153 The 4 categories of love patterns<\/a> and 154 The 3 states of your nervous system and the polyvagal scale<\/a>. You can also read my book S’ouvrir a l’amour, and if the solution lay on the side of the vagus nerve?<\/em><\/a> if you want to identify your own mechanisms and patterns.<\/span>\nThis episode is for you if you have the feeling of having to fight in relationships (not necessarily by choice, but you must), that you cannot count on others, that anger\/frustration are often present in your relationships, or that you need to control a lot (and others reproach you for it). Having accompanied more than 600 people<\/strong>, the fight response is one of the most exhausting mechanisms in the long term.<\/span>\n

\u2764\ufe0f Watch my webinar<\/a><\/strong> on how to finally be happy in love!<\/p>\n\t\t\t\t\t\t\t\t<\/div>\n\t\t\t\t<\/div>\n\t\t\t\t\t<\/div>\n\t\t<\/div>\n\t\t\t\t\t<\/div>\n\t\t<\/section>\n\t\t\t\t

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<\/span>The mechanisms of the fight response\n\n\n<\/span><\/h2>\t\t\t\t<\/div>\n\t\t\t\t<\/div>\n\t\t\t\t
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  • Mistrust and anticipating the worst, hypervigilance, need to control<\/li>
  • Power struggles instead of teamwork<\/li>
  • Hyper-independence instead of vulnerability<\/li>
  • Feeling that you cannot count on others<\/li>
  • Exploding easily, lots of anger and resentment in your relationships<\/li>
  • Self-sabotage, creating unnecessary conflicts in the relationship, addicted to drama and chaos<\/li>
  • Demanding nature, perfectionism, high expectations, feeling of being at war with yourself (“I must be…, I must not… to be loved”), harsh inner dialogue<\/li><\/ul>\t\t\t\t\t\t\t\t<\/div>\n\t\t\t\t<\/div>\n\t\t\t\t\t<\/div>\n\t\t<\/div>\n\t\t\t\t\t<\/div>\n\t\t<\/section>\n\t\t\t\t
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    <\/span>If your partner is in this state, you may feel<\/span><\/h2>\t\t\t\t<\/div>\n\t\t\t\t<\/div>\n\t\t\t\t
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    • That they jump at you, seek to “win” the discussion rather than co-constructing<\/li>
    • That they want to keep control over you or the relationship, or that they decide everything<\/li>
    • That they are too demanding, always in blame mode<\/li>
    • That they never apologise or have difficulty acknowledging their wrongs (bad faith)<\/li>
    • That they are defensive and don’t want to listen to or understand you<\/li>
    • That they are intense, moody \u2014 sometimes passionate and sometimes detached<\/li>
    • That they don’t open up<\/li>
    • That they seek conflict, create problems<\/li>
    • Like you are being attacked, criticised, or that everything becomes a duel<\/li>
    • Like you are on the defensive<\/li>
    • Like you have to walk on eggshells so they don’t explode<\/li><\/ul>\t\t\t\t\t\t\t\t<\/div>\n\t\t\t\t<\/div>\n\t\t\t\t\t<\/div>\n\t\t<\/div>\n\t\t\t\t\t<\/div>\n\t\t<\/section>\n\t\t\t\t
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      <\/div>\n\t\t<\/div>\n\t\t\t\t\t\t<\/div>\n\t\t\t\t<\/div>\n\t\t\t\t\t<\/div>\n\t\t<\/div>\n\t\t\t\t\t<\/div>\n\t\t<\/section>\n\t\t\t\t
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      For you<\/p>\t\t\t\t<\/div>\n\t\t\t\t<\/div>\n\t\t\t\t

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      <\/span>FREE Webinar \n\"HOW TO FREE OURSELVES FROM THE PATTERNS THAT PREVENT US FROM BEING HAPPY IN LOVE?\"<\/span><\/span><\/h2>\t\t\t\t<\/div>\n\t\t\t\t<\/div>\n\t\t\t\t
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      \n\t\t\t\t\t\t\t\t\tSubscribe now to my newsletter and receive the replay of the webinar how a wound from the past is created ?\u00a0\t\t\t\t\t\t\t\t<\/div>\n\t\t\t\t<\/div>\n\t\t\t\t\t<\/div>\n\t\t<\/div>\n\t\t\t\t
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